A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm curious on what sort of personality, traits, appearance, etc makes a girl seem approachable to a guy...Perhaps if I was more approachable I would have an easier time finding guys to date!So, in your opinion and experience... what makes a girl appear more approachable? What encourages a guy to approach a girl for a date? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (25 April 2013):
 The best thing to do is be yourself. DO not be fake or phony because then you get guys that are attracted to your fake persona and when you let your hair down and are yourself they are disappointed.
I find that men in general are attracted to open, smiling, friendly cheery people. Too sexy and they back off. And if you are shy, they will not know you are interested and then will probably not approach you for fear of being rejected.
IF you like smart brainy geeky guys... find a gaming group (board games) they are about 80% men of all ages. I met my current husband at a gaming convention.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2013): Looking cute can make a girl more approachable. Being cute and being sexy are two different things I feel. The most sexy girls are the ones guys 'put on a pedestal' and they generally aren't cute. They're HOT and will probably say 'no' to almost every guy. Therefore they aren't seen as approachable.
What can make a girl more cute looking? Less makeup. Flat shoes. Clothes that are more cute than sexy.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (25 April 2013):
I think people that write this type of question tend to think they're doing something wrong, but you probably just aren't in the right places. I went through a period where I worked with a bunch of guys and didn't really have a lot of contact with women... Needless to say I went through a dry spell.
In other times of my life I never had issues meeting and finding women to date.
So, as said by others, you need to find some social hobbies.
There is an off chance you give off a "don't talk to me" vibe. Maybe you have a naturally frowning face, maybe you are shy. I had a girlfriend that way and she was very attractive but had never got a lot of attention from guys.
Despite what women seem to think, most guys don't pick up women they don't know in non social settings.
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A
female
reader, queenadelaide  +, writes (24 April 2013):
What attracts guys is you being yourself because that's something no-else can do.
Identify your hobbies and interests and do them in clubs or societies to make sure you're around as many people as possible.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2013): How about I assume you are really attractive? I saw this graph from Okcupid and it showed that the '7s' and '8s' clearly got the most attention from guys. The most attractive ones only got slightly more attention than the '5s', which was about average.
The guys have it way worse. Virtually no contact if they are highly attractive. I must be sooo hot, lol.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (24 April 2013):
 This is such a broad question. Not all guys like the same thing. Are you into BMX bike-riding extreme sports kinda guys or do you like Wall Street brokers or do you like the guys who hang out at Moe's on the Simpsons?
Broadly, I would say:
being well-groomed, this means clean hair (unless you are in the middle of 90 mile bike ride), styled to suit your face, make up enough to highlight your features without making you look cheap or clownish
being appropriately dressed for whatever activity you are engaged in, and unless you are looking for goth/emo types, this means not wearing all black all the time
smelling nice but not wearing an overpowering scent
not grinning at everything but smiling when appropriate and having an open, honest, interested expression
making eye contact
good posture, I cannot believe how many people walk around slumped like they have the weight of the world on their shoulders
looking healthy, being height/weight proportionate. This doesn't mean you have to be a size 00, some men do like starved waif types but I don't think there are many of those
I think expecting a guy you've never met to approach you for a date may be a bit too much. Expecting him to approach you and give him your number, well now, there's a more realistic expectation, don't you think?
What makes you think you are unapproachable, anyway?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2013): You be who you are and don't put on any false pretense or give out bu^^^^it stories. Try to smile at a man who makes eye contact and return the same. If he approaches turn and face him and give eye contact. Don't forget to show your pearly white teeth and be confident and sincere. Don't override his conversation and be a good listener. You have to figure out if he just wants to get to know you or take you out somewhere for a quickie. You can control this. If he becomes rude or wants to hijack the conversation or you feel he has ill intentions you tell him. Tell him I don't like or appreciate what you said or implied. This is the only time you should raise your voice for others to hear what is going on. Then turn around and move away. This will send out signals to the rest of the people in your social setting or night club. First your no push over and just didn't come to get sex. Now this will bring the attention of men who might have genuine intentions with you. You're good looking, not afraid to engage men, but are no pushover. This will get you going the right way.
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