A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:All advice would be much appreciated! I'm 16 and have never had a boyfriend, and I think I need to work on myself for now as I keep having crushes and it's distracting me from school. So what do single people do in order to make themselves happy? Single girls or women, in particular?Thanks! :)
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female
reader, bethevans +, writes (9 October 2010):
 Okay i'm single, and at the moment i'm LOVING it. :')
firstly, do you have a lot of friends? because if you do just go out and have fun, explore different friendship groups aswell because that will stop you thinking about guys so much; you'll just be thinking friends.
secondly, just think for a second, you have just told all of us that you need to focus on yourself, so do that! :). Make sure you feel GREAT about yourself, so even if you don't have a boyfriend when you walk past a good looking guy and they stare, you'll feel GROOOOVVY. :)
hope it helped. x
A
female
reader, thatonegirl11  +, writes (9 October 2010):
 I didn't have my first boyfriend until I was 17. I then realized, after that brief relationship, that only I can make myself truly happy. I'm the one who has to keep a positive attitude and know that a relationship is icing on the cake, or the cherry on top- it's meant to be an addition to life, not the main focus of it. Like all of the poster have said, have fun with friends, explore new hobbies, etc.
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A
female
reader, monkey friend +, writes (9 October 2010):
The first time I ever got a boyfriend was between 18 and 19; I don't know which one because we started out friends first and there was no "would you like to go...with me?"
I had the opportunity in the eigth grade to have a boyfriend though; I knew he liked me and it took him a very long time to get the courage to act upon it, in which case I still turned him as he wasn't quite my type. I stand by my decision today still.
All you need to know is that boys aren't everything. Having a boyfriend is more distracting than not having one, trust me. Also, boyfriends are still men regardless; they will do things that we don't like and if well tell them about it they usually won't understand what the big deal is, even if we tell them what exactly the problem is.
Also, relationships aren't all "I'm so in love I can't not see you for one day." No, you will want some free time for yourself sometimes, as will he.
And try your best to stop focusing on guys. You need to keep yourself busy to forget them. Love will come knocking on your door when you least expect it (and I FULLY agree to whoever first said that.)
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A
female
reader, LLindy87 +, writes (9 October 2010):
 I'm single and I'm happy !
But I've never been one who felt like I needed a boyfriend. I basically focus on myself, my goals mostly. I am in college and very dedicated to it, I nanny on the days I don't go to school and I have the weekends to hang out with my family and friends. Its quite nice. I'd love to be in a relationship, but I figure it'll happen sooner or later. I'm a big believer in NOT settling.
I have dated guys before, I've had two relationships and I've gone on a lot of dates. There have been guys that have turned me down and there have been guys I've turned down.
There really isn't a secret answer on how to be happy when you're single, I just focus on what I do have instead of what I don't have. Be positive, look on the bright side and take advantage of being single
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2010): Im not single but every relationship ive had were all long distance.So its hard but, i do get distracted in school like you, its hard to stay on task i know thinking of something completely different.But i do a lot of gaming or cleaning, it does help me be happy.Im more focused on getting the counters bleached or killing the aliens that wont die.Even just listening to music helps.And usually i forget im texting some one.But thats just me.
hope thats helps you some.
xoxo
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A
female
reader, BeautifulCapricorn +, writes (9 October 2010):
I get new hobbies, like reading books on subjects that i find interesting... back in high school, when i was ur age i joined clubs and organizations in school and that kept me occupied. i really had to time to have crushes because i was always busy..... join other programs in the community, make new friend, shop, take care of urself ...ur only 16-17 there is no need to have a boyfriend now even if u have the earges, just keep yourself busy girl and you will be alright. go out with friend to the movies, shopping and other stuff
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A
female
reader, fi_the_tree +, writes (9 October 2010):
 Oh my god, there's alsorts you can do to keep yourself occupied. I'm thinking movie nights with the girls, sleepovers, shopping trips, going and getting nair and nails done, or even doing them yourselves. Of course, throwing yourself into your school work should keep you busy!!
I'm currently single after quite a heavy and emotionally intense relationship, and even tho it has been 4 months since we broke up, i'm only just starting to feel happy again. I've been doing all the above things, spending time with friends and family doing whatever i want, whenever i want.
As i said there are so many things you could be doing, just make sure that you have fun in everything you do, and laugh your head off whilst doing it!!
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