| A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: My boyfriend shuts off when I confront him about our lack of sex, he just says "I hate these conversations". He has admitted he has a low sex drive but I just want him to want me as much as I want him. I just want to show him how I feel about him by being intimate in this way. I don't want to upset him by going on at him and I don't want to ruin what is otherwise a fantastic relationship.
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sex drive, sex life Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2007): If you don't want to ruin it so much, then stop bugging him about it. You remind me of one of those men who keeps pestering their woman for more sex.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2007): I think your relationship is not that great. Your desire for him makes you think that it's better than it really is. Wake up. Silk and laces won't help here. He has a low sex drive. Accept it or move on.
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A
male
reader, Asexy  +, writes (10 December 2007):
 Being able to talk about this is crucial. Seriously, it's the most important part of communication and it's usually swept under the rug.
Here's the thing -- don't "confront" him. You need to talk, but try to avoid getting him on the defensive. Do what you can to make an atmosphere where the two of you can be honest. (I know, easy for me to say.)
In the long run, this difference in sexual appetite can split you up faster than anything else. You're feeling unloved right now, and he's feeling either guilty for not wanting it or defensive. This can't make either of you happy.
If you can't talk about it yourselves, you need to find a counselor. Seriously, it's more important than anything else right now. If you can't get on the same page or get to some kind of understanding/compromise, your relationship will be miserable.
Good luck.
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