A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi their,this isnt a love or sexual question, its more about appearance.. im about 5'4 large built and a little overweight.. alot of people tell me how pretty i am, but all i see is ugly and fat, i got tormented at school when i was younger when i was much bigger but i lost about 2 stone. i was at the doctors the other day and he said nicely in a blantently way said i was fat and was hoping i was trying to do my health good and not bad, i felt like slapping him saying do you not think i look in the mirror in a morning and go omg how do you live and not wanna scratch your eyes out, its begging to depress me again because of that comment and now all i can think of is how horrible i look, i had a photo taken recent and everyone says i look really good and that i have lost more weight but i look at the photo and think omg i look like a size 38 *im a size 14* and i hate this im trying more to cut my eating down but i seem to want to eat more to comfort eat and i dont want to go into a vicious circle that will end up me putting weight on.. i tried alot of diets seems carbohydrates are the worst i lost 1 stone in a week from cutting them all out *carbohydrates are in everything oO..my bf thinks i look great and loves me the way i am but i just cant see it i think he is crazy or blind..im in a healthy job that involves alot of hard labour, fresh air and long walks..im at the end of my tether as what to do! im aiming to be a 12 again but i feel if i keep this thinking up it will be more like a 22 and i want to be 12 or atleast be happy as a 14 but it feels like i cant just accept myself... please dont be harsh im really vunerable right now.. thanks alot for any ideas LA xxx
View related questions:
overweight Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, claireleatherdale +, writes (9 September 2008):
 ok i'll tell you something i'm a size 20 and i've dropped 2 dress sizes in 4 months (i was a size 24) and all i've done is cut out bread(nothing else i eat what i want when i want), i take 2 different types of slim tablets and do an exercise dvd every day i go to the doctor to get checked to make sure i'm not losing too much weight to fast and i'm ok so don't starve yourself to get slim and as for that doctor go back and slap him it will make you feel loads better lol
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you so much guys i really apprieciate this, ive been up and down like a yoyo when it comes to my weight ive been a loose 12 to a 18 since the age of 14 till now which hah ha im a 14..i think what bothers me the most is i know i can be a 12 but i seem to be out of routine on how i managed it the last time i was only able to eat one sandwich a day and about 2 hours a day of exercise to be a loose 12 or soups or baked potatoes. i think i need a clear ot of home body and mind i just hope i can keep inspired to do it all i know it wont happen over night but even a change within a few weeks and i hope it gets me back on track... thanks again LA xxx
...............................
A
female
reader, sexi suga +, writes (8 September 2008):
hey there... babe honestly i was the same way.. when i was younger im talkin 14/ 15 i used to be almost a size 14 to 16... i used to hate myself and in the same way as you i got tormented at how big i was, i took it lightly and brushed it off until i realised how bad i looked and how it would only be my health that suffered... when i hit about 16/17 that when i really drastically lost alot of weight and to be honest i done it the hard way... i joined the gym, was walking to and from college (about 40mins walk there and 40mins back) and started cutting down my sweeets (coz that for me was my biggest downfall) i stopped eating chocolates for a year and all in all became a much healthier person... All in all i lost nearly 3 and a half stones in the space of 2 years and i now look so much better in comparison to before... however i found out the hard way that no matter what i do im still alway gnna wish that i look better.. it doesnt matter how nice other people say i look im always goin to be insecure i think sometime a person has just got to accept themselves and know that they are never going to be perfect as there really is nothing called perfect...
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (8 September 2008):
 Hi, I can relate to your situation. I let myself go a couple of years ago and have been working to get back my body and self-confidence too. And you know what? It's working!
So, first of all, you do need to stop the self-bashing because that isn't going to help you. Replace the negative thought when you have one with a positive thing that you can do for yourself.
I went through my closet about 2 years ago and was utterly ruthless. I tried everything on (a la 'What Not to Wear') and if it didn't flatter me, I pitched it. (Gave the good stuff away to charity, threw away the ratty stuff.) If you feel better in your clothes, that's a great start.
I also took things to the seamstress for alteration, letting jackets out as needed or getting hems done properly and the sleeves lengths adjusted. I know what kind of clothes look good on me and I try to avoid buying the 'hot' trends unless I know it works with my body.
Figure out what part of you is the most flattering. If you have an hourglass shape, show off your waist. Good legs, get good skirts. If you wear baggy and shapeless clothing, you will look baggy and shapeless and heavier than you truly are.
Exercise is key to feeling and looking better too. I would recommend getting a pedometer, you know, the little devices that measure how many steps you walk a day. I think 10,000 steps is what's recommended for a healthy person. I get up early, throw on my walking shoes and clothes, pop the headphones in my ears and listen to music that keeps me moving, around the neighborhood. This gets your blood moving and makes you feel better all day. If it's raining too hard, I'll put in an exercise DVD and do that (right now it's a Pilates one for me). I take a day off during the week, usually Sunday, but otherwise, it's a power walk every day. It sounds like you're already halfway there with your long walks and physical labor. You need to keep those up and recognize that you are indeed working out. There was an interesting survey done of chambermaids in hotels, they were divided into two groups. One was told nothing, they just monitored their weight and discovered that there was no change in their weight or eating patterns. The other group was told that their work that they did everyday was actually the equivalent of a good workout at the gym and that group actually began to lose weight. It seems that they were motivated by this news and they began to watch what they ate and treat their work as a form of exercise. So part of it is mental.
Eating, right, that's the other part of the equation, isn't it? If you cut out things that you really love, you're going to feel deprived. So the thing to do is moderate. Take a look at what a real serving size of anything you like to eat should be. I think for meat, it's about the size of your palm. Cheese is smaller, as that's really packed with fat. Pasta and potatoes and rice are like 1/2 cup servings, which feels small, but if you have a little bit, you won't feel like you're missing out on things.
Soups and salads are good ways to fill up without a lot of calories. Lots of veggies. Cut out fizzy drinks, and junk food of any kind. It takes more work but it's worth it to chop your own salads and veggies. If you have a sweet tooth, buy some small candy bars in individual wrappers and have one after your lunch or dinner, again so that you won't feel deprived. Keep some healthy snacks around, so when you feel the need to comfort eat, you crunch on a carrot stick or sip a sugarfree tea.
I recently bought a scale and am getting on it daily to keep track of my progress and it can be very motivating too. It's brutal to see the number but it keeps you honest.
Tell the people around you that you are trying to watch what you eat so that they won't be trying to tempt you to eat something you shouldn't.
Your guy can help too by taking you dancing and walking and other active pursuits instead of sitting and watching TV or going out for meals.
And finally, stop deluding yourself that you are really really fat. You're not. You're beating yourself up for something that's not true and disrespecting your boyfriend for considering him to be blind or crazy. This lack of self-confidence is the first thing that has to go.
Chin up, stand tall, like you have a string at the top of your head pulling you up. Good posture will shave off pounds too, visually.
And if you overindulge one day, fine, just don't do it the next day. That's a cycle you can avoid if you stop punishing yourself.
Good luck, think, eat, act healthy and you'll be a good size for your own body type within a year.
...............................
A
female
reader, tammye17 +, writes (8 September 2008):
 Hey there sweety....Please dont feel like that..I'am pretty sure your not as bad as you make it seem. you must be a really pretty girl for people to say it, and yes you should care about your health and weight but dont put yourself down. I'am overweight to. I;am 5'3 and i weight 160. I wear a size 12. not being conceited but i think i have a beautiful face and the body is not so bad, iam verry voluptious and i accept my body type the way it is, you should to. eat healthy, and if you are a large build then you should try light weights, i used to do that and even thought you dont loose weight so much you look better. and sometimes doctors give you a weight you should weight without taking into consideration your build. i thought about something s you could do;*30 min cardio @ least 3 times a week.*light weights for upper and lower body. go to www. shape. com for ideas*no liquids after 6:00 p.m and eat small meals every 4 hours with snaks
...............................
|
