A
male
age
41-50,
*rokendown
writes:My ex girlfriend and I have been broken up for 4-5 months now. We dated for over 4 years. I had been trying to work things out with her but it was not going anywhere. There was too much history to throw away. In July I was out with a coworker at a bar and she showed up with another guy. I flipped out. Things got kind of heated but it was discovered this was just a guy friend and they were only out having a drink. She has always been very honest and has told me she has been out with other guys since we broke up but nothing serious. Fast forward to yesterday. I get a call from her and she says she needs to talk to me. That night I had seen her and we had a fight she got really wasted to deal with it. The guy drove her home and they ended up having unprotected sex. She is now pregnant! She said it was a one time mistake and she is very sorry and regrets it. She has only told her mom. She also wants to have the kid, no abortion. I am devastated, destroyed, etc.. I don't know what to do. She wants no relationship with the to-be father and says she will always love me more than anything. I don't know if I can ever forgive her for this...
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abortion, broke up, co-worker, ex girlfriend, sex with another, unprotected sex Reply to this Question
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male
reader, brokendown +, writes (9 September 2008):
brokendown is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you to everyone that has replied already. I really appreciate the responses. It has been a very tough couple of days and I don't imagine it getting better any time soon. I have been thinking if I could get back together with her and I just don't know if it would last. I can deal with the fact that she had sex with someone else. That is none of my business and we had been broken up for months, plus she regrets it terribly. Who is to say that I haven't done the same with someone else so I cannot be a hypocrite and be mad about that. It all comes down to her choice in having the child. I don't want to tell her to have an abortion because that is selfish of me and she would resent me for life. I want her to be happy and she says either decision she makes she won't be happy. She loses something either way. I told her she needs to make the decision based on what she believes is the best and right thing for her to do.
A
female
reader, claireleatherdale  +, writes (9 September 2008):
 right i've noticed that all the relpies to this so far have been male and it seems like they're saying be a friend nothing else all i can say is do what ur heart tells u this baby didn't ask 2 come into this world but it'll b here before u no it and from what i can gather from ur asking 4 help is that ur a nice guy and every baby needs a father figure in their life even if u dont take her back be there 4 the baby because if it's a boy it'll see what a man should be like and if it's a girl well there's nothing better than a girl wanting a nice guy just like her daddy a nice guy like u will make the world of difference no matter what u decide just remember any a**hole can be a sperm donor but it takes a real man 2 be a dad
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A
male
reader, EasyEK  +, writes (9 September 2008):
Mmmh! I can just imagine the unbearable pain you are going through now. Regardless of whether she decides to take an abortion or bear the child, that woman is no longer the right one for you. And I agree with the other poster that it would take an incredibly amazing man to stay in that relationship. You can help her in the meantime but made it known clearly to her the assistance in STRICTLY on mutual friendship terms.
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A
male
reader, A better man +, writes (8 September 2008):
Wow, I could only imagine the hurt, frustration, confusion, and host of other emotions you must be dealing with. 1st off let me say it will take an amazing man to stay in spite of the situation. I don't even know if I could handle it. No matter how much you love her the child will be the physical manifestation of her having sex with another man. If you are that guy, then I wish you the best. If not, It's better to get out now, cause the pain and hurt will be evident in your everyday life...
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