A
female
age
30-35,
*eartlessAlice;
writes:[PLEASE HELP ME,I'VE GOT ISSUES]Does he still love me, and is just trying to get me jealous? Or did his feelings for me cease?At the beginning, I didn't know him, and had no feelings for him whatsoever. But then realized I fell for him instantly. Since I was positive Meleny was flirting with him, I built the confidence to approach him for the first time. Lucky me, our teacher assigned him the seat next to me, for the remainder of the class period. I spoke his name, getting his attention, but once he realized it was me that had spoken, his eyes bulged, and he looked down quickly, and continued to have a nervous conversation with me, until he got a bit more comfortable. Later on I noticed this trend. After I had talked to him that first time, he'd smile everytime I'd greet him in the halls. Even more surprising, Meleny was completely out of the picture. I won't go into great detail, but we ended up admitting that we liked each other. And even later, further more, loved each other.I noticed that when there was a girl that would try to touch him, or etc., he'd push them away, glance at me, and smile, awaiting one in return.At the end of that, seemingly, perfect year, it was time to say goodbye.(I was going to California for the summer) We hadn't kissed, nor had we hugged, but did it matter? Well.. it did to me. I decided as we were about to turn our seperate ways to reach under his arms, and hug him goodbye.. We stood there for a good, hmm, whole minute or so, until we unclenched each other, and smiled.. Then I was off.To me everything seemed perfect, but in every story comes a conflict, and an antagonist. I arrived back to my hometown, and got on my myspace when she(His* ex)messages me.. She confided that they were 'going out', but I merely laughed. He was on the phone with me at the time, and denied it, seeming at ease. But of course she wouldn't let it go. She had quite a few of her friends tell me nonsense, but, taking everything in hystorically, I just ignored it. Until. The new year began. It was the second day of school.. and he was in plain sight. He looked a bit anxious, but I just ignored it. I walked over to him and jumped over his feet, to sit next to him. He got up, replying "nahh". I let out a subtle giggle, and asked,"what?".. and without a glance at my face he said,"just..just leave me alone", and with great haste and swiftness, disappeared.I was appalled, and confused. I took a glance towards HER(the antagonist's)table, and she seemed to be amused, and laughing. As if it were all planned. The rest of lunch he spent looked over his table,with sorry eyes, trying to catch my glance. He didn't mean it, I presume.. But still I cried. Still trying to get my attention, he walked back and forth, in front of my table. The next day he called.. And was silent, as if I were talking to myself. I began to confront him, and he cut in speaking, "i love yo-" I cut him off. and told him to 'stop'. He took it offensively, and hung up a while after that. He'd message me on myspace saying he couldn't come up to me, but he still loved me.. and I asked 'why?'. He said that he had gotten himself in trouble with these guys in his 'neighborhood'. I didn't know whether or not to believe him.Still everyday I'd see him with her. and eventually they started hugging, and he'd automatically look my way. Then they'd kiss, BUT the most interesting part of this, is that they wouldn't look at each other, nor would they close their eyes, but, they would look at us(My friends and I). Nothing made sense to me at this point, yet he still begged me to wait. What was I suppose to say? I loved him.. But loving him had never felt so wrong.Finally, he RANDOMLY messaged me saying that he hated me, and that he wanted nothing to do with me. I.. I couldn't let myself believe it was him. I thought SHE hacked it. Or that SHE made him do it.. Everytime I look at him, he tries to stare at me as long as he can last. His eyes.. They scare me now.He looks miserable. He even carved my initial. BUT not much longer after that did he tattoo HER NAME to his arm. What is wrong with him? Does he still love me? Is he really in a tight position? Or is he just playing me? Did he just want to mess with my head?He acted so different with me, than with anyone else. Not even his closest friends say the side of him that I did... He'd even ditch his friends just to walk me out of the hallway. He'd get startled, and observant if I said 'ouch'. How can all those feelings just disappear so suddenly? It makes no sense to me. Did I mean nothing? Just another heart to break? Or is my love in trouble, and is miserable? What does this mean?? What do I do?? PLEASE, SOMEONE HELP ME!! );
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, The diary of the unforgiven.  +, writes (21 August 2010):
Dear Alice,
To me one of the toughest things can be love. One moment everything seems so perfect, nothing could ever ruin the moment and you just don't ever want that moment to end. Then, all of a sudden. All your efforts and time seem to vanish, thrown out of the window in a matter of seconds, a couple of texts. Love seems like it is such a complicated thing, but we just need to learn to understand the way it flows. I mean, by reading what you wrote, you're young and at school obviously likewise myself. I have been through this. Males at that age, do not know what they want. One moment, then can be all over you the next they are all over someone else. Love, I believe does not exists within the males of that age. Love being true and honest.
I think that you shouldn't bother much longer. I know that it hurts, and I know that it's tough because I've been through that. My ex, used to kiss this girl at the field at our school and I would be crying and watching. It hurts deep but what I found out is that I moved on..
I knew that my love wasn't exactly strong for him as a I thought it would be. Because there are plenty of fish in the sea. I mean wow, like there are millions of people in this stupid retarded world and you go depressed over just that one person!?
I think that you should show that you are strong and you don't care. Because us girls can only predict what males think by their actions or through words. Time is the answer, and if you give time a chance it will show you the way of what is right and wrong. Because eventually, everything will make sense to you.
Just focus on your friends, don't even look his way. When he walks past you don't even look up at him, just walk off. When he's sitting next to you, don't talk to him just yet. Because everything has it's punishment, and though you might not want to do this, it worked out in the end for me. He said that he didn't mean it and that he was just upset. And loads of other crap that he made up. But I'm sorry that you had to go through that. Sometimes distance can ruin things for you.
The one you love drifts so far away, that not even you can catch them back. I have a little quoting sort of thing for you.
Set the one your love free, if it comes back it's honestly yours. If not, it was never yours to hold to begin with.
A
female
reader, jamielea kellow +, writes (16 March 2010):
 i know what you mean i have been in a relationship for 4 weeks and all we did was hug and hold hands. but i think that either that girl has said something to him or they are actually going out. but the fact that he has her name tatooed on his arm i mean thats permanent and thats not right for a guy to do something like that so i actually think that she has said something to him!! i hope that this helps. jamie-lea
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A
female
reader, kayla20 +, writes (16 March 2010):
 sounds to me like he is trying to mess with your emotions and his so called ex is trying to get to you.id ignore any contact with him and try and move on as his obviously in a relationship with his ex to get her name tattooed on him.
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