A
female
age
30-35,
*_Mae93
writes:okay so my ex of 16 months and i broke up march 15th 2012, he is already married to a girl he'd been dating a month and they have been together 3 months. 14 days before they had gotten married he had told me that he wasn't over me and that he wouldn't ever be over me or forget what we had been through and did. he takes his wife everywhere him and i went, he tells her things that he used to tell me. in his phone he has my name as my nick name that he had given me and my contact picture is of me and him. he has said that he is over me completely. everytime he comes over to see his daughter he always lays on my bed beside me. one time he even asked me to lay down because "i looked tired" well last night i broke down and told him that i still loved him. he had texted me first and asked how his daughter was thats something that he never does i always always have to text him first but yesterday he texted me. he has even gone two weeks without asking how his daughter is like i said he never asks.we were talking and these are the texts betweeen him and i:Him" hey how is peanut doingMe:She's good and being meanHim: how mean?Me:like shes not being mean as in doing bad stuff shes just funnyHim" oh okay well thats not badMe: Could you maybe text my mom if its about peanut or anything pleaseHim" i guessMe: im sorry i just cant talk to youHim: KMe: K? why are you mad, i know you areHim: i'm not i just dont see the problem with youMe: im sorry its just im trying to let you go and you make it hard for me toHim: im sorry i understandMe: why are you sorry? its just hard to talk and be around a person that you still love and always will love.( he never texted back)Me: im sorry i shouldnt have told you any of that Him" its okay just try to be happy atleast for peanutMe: im trying but its just hard but im sorry for everything and im really glad that you found someone who makes you finally makes you happy and does everything for you that i didntHim: i hope you understand and try to feel better about everything.can someone please tell me what he means? how can he possible understand when he is over me and not going through what im going through with missing him and still wanting to be with him.
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female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (10 September 2012):
 This man does not have your best interest at heart, he wants his wife and he wants to have you dangling on a string and to have sex with. Is that what you want, to be the other woman?
If he loved you so much, and missed you so much, and respected you so much how come he married another woman so soon after breaking up with you?
Sorry to be crude but he is full of sheet! Get legal advice, put some rules in place, arrange through a third party for him to visit his daughter at your mother's house, and you dont be there. don't let him into your place, dont answer his texts, dont answer his calls, dont answer the door when he comes a knocking.
While you are hooked into this addiction you have for him you will never move on, you will simply repeat the same old pattern over and over again. Not only will this mean no future for yourself but you will be setting a very bad example on what women should expect for your daughter.
Dont let it happen, don't let this be the start of a cycle that you repeat over and over again until she is an adult and repeats the same thing over and over again. Tell yourself you want more for her, and then get strong. Stand firm and dont take any more of his stinking crap.
A
male
reader, Biffo  +, writes (10 September 2012):
Hi, I really feel the pain in your problem. I am going through something very similar. My feeling is that he does know that you are suffering and that you still love him, but is helpless to do anything about it. You obviously want to get back with him, but its clear he doesn't. Your texts are basically saying "I still love you, can't forget you and want you back". You are trying to find hidden meanings in his texts and his actions. He is just being kind, nothing more. I am sorry, but the sooner you realise this, the happier you will be. So sorry, but you need to move on (as do I) :o( - However there is a tiny, small glimmer of hope (for us both) - Absence makes the Heart grow fonder - perhaps if you weren't so readily available, if his texts weren't answered, if he thought you had moved on and were no longer available.... I wish you happiness
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2012): You need to maintain no contact and all engagements relating to your daughter should be channeled through your mum, you need to heal and move on, he is not worth all that heartache and he is married. He loves the idea that you still want him. He has another woman in his life, if he wants to be with you be will leave her and be a family to you and your daughter. If you dont there is only one person that is miserable and that is you.
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