A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Iam a 20 heterosexual female. Ive had the same best friend since I was seven years old. He happens to be a gay man. He has always been my best friend. I love him and he means more to me than anything or anyone. He came out of the closet to to me before anyone else when he was only 12 years old. Even at such a young age I knew he was gay. Since then he has had many boyfriends and is known to be god's gift to gay men. I know he has never had feelings for women in his life and was never attracted to one or been with one. He knew almost from day one he liked men. However, I became real confused because a few months ago he started flirting with me. I just shrugged it off the first few times and figured i was mistaken. Soon the fact that he was mad flirting with me became undeniable, even our friends were starting to comment and become suspicious of our relationship. I was about to question him about the flirting untill he beat me to it. He sat me down and he told me he was in love with me and that he wanted to be with me not as just a friend. Then he kissed me, we started making out. He fondled and kissed my breasts and he even fingered me. I feel so guilty now that I let him do it and I feel even more guilty that I liked it. Because the fact that he is gay and my best friend I will never act upon what happened but Iam real confused. How can he be gay and have the feelings he says he has for me? Im really confused. He cant give me an explination as to why he feels this way.
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male
reader, aim  +, writes (13 January 2008):
 Wow. I am amazed. First of all, don't feel guilty for what happened! Besides the point that he is gay, he still made love with you as someone IN love. The simple fact that you let him do it with you, and liked it at the same time means that you also have something for him. Don't let the label of him being gay hinder you from having that 'something'. Also, don't rush things with him! Since, he has confessed that he is gay means maybe from time to time, from here and there, there will be another man that will make him fall in love as well. *It's just weird to know that your competition for the person you love is the opposite sex, no? Haha. *Don't also shut the thought that maybe he's bi. Red1982 has also said lotsa good advice for you too. It is i believe true that no one is 100% straight or gay. For i am bi and it really is not a perfect bisexuality as well since i prefer one side better than the other. And i guess i also speak for the bi world too that its not a 50-50 deal. :)As they say, just go with the flow. Let the chips fall... somewhere. haha. Gluck with your gay bestfriend. Hope everything works out well. üaim
A
female
reader, red1982  +, writes (7 January 2008):
I'm not entirely convinced that people are 100% gay or 100% straight. I think it is possible to fall in love with a person for who they are not their gender. He probably can't understand why he feels this way anymore then you can, but that's love isn't it?? I dont' think you can ever explain why you love another person - you just do.
You should not feel guilty about this, and neither should he - you can't choose who you fall in love with - I'm a firm believer in that, but you can choose what to do with that love.
What would make a relationship with this man hard is that he may not get all he needs from a relationship with a female, however much he loves you he may still want to make love with men. If you were to go out with him and break up it would affect your friendship. But then it sounds like your friendship is already being affected.
If he were not gay would you jump at the chance of a relationship with him? If the answers yes maybe you should give things a try.
I wish you both luck.
xx
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