A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Right erm ok me and my gf have been together for 7 months and known each other for about 14 years ish. I stop over at hers most of the time and because her parents know me so well they don't mind that we sleep together. They trust us both and her mum has always been paranoid over her getting a bf but when she found out it was me she said she was happy that it was me!! Wow i felt good for that!! Anyway we decided about a month ago we did want to have sex for the first time (we both virgins) but she's just so scared so nervous, terrified of any pain whatsoever. It's taken me ages just to get her to be comfortable being mostly naked with me and since we've been best friends for 14 years before this there isn't much we haven't been through together. But anyway she's just too nervous but there was one time when we really wanted to there and then(it was at night and we were in bed obviously) and she just felt it was right and so did I, it's just we didn't have any condoms so we wouldn't do it and plus her parents and brother were home. That's another thing neither of us can figure out why but when her parents are home she feels more relaxed, probably because she feels safe knowing they're nearby but at the same time she knwos I'd never ever force her into anything cuz im just as scared as her, but at the same time we don't want them to hear or know or anything. So how can we relax more and what can we do to make it feel ok and stuff? We've sorta figured it ut that if its planned then it won't happen but if it just happens naturally then tis mroe likely to happen but thing is how does it really happen naturally + what can we do to stop the tension and stuff? you get the idea.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, :):):) +, writes (7 May 2008):
Firstly well done for not rushing into things, its also good that you're first time will be with someone you've known for along time.
Now for the problem, I'll be honest sex for the first time is usually a disappointment, ask anyone and they'll say the same, but not to worry it gets better with time!
Its perfectly natural to be nervous, both of you. But if you're ready then take things slow and be gentle.Maybe use a lubricant if you think it will help.
When the time feels right you'll know.
Don't worry its not nearly as bad as you think!
xxx
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