A
female
age
30-35,
*ool.x.
writes:Just started seeing this new lad.. Seems amazing..i don't know what to do though, as i have been messed around so much in the past. I don't want to be hurt again. I don't have the guts to face up to him, if he is just in it for the sex, or if he wants a relationship from it. Any ideas on what i could maybe do please? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, :):):) +, writes (7 May 2008):
You could ask him straight out but when put on the spot he might just say what he thinks you want him to say.
You could always lessen how often you have sex a while maybe completely and see if he is still as commited and as interested as he was prior to this. Afterall 'Actions speak louder than words'
Im glad to hear you've learnt from your past experiences. Many girls I know stick to the 'one month rule' and refuse to have sex until they've been dating a month, its a good test of character, even if the wait is a bit frustrating lol
Good luck
xxxxxxx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2008): Well, if he is in it only for the sex, he's probably not going to tell you that if you ask. Instead, he'll tell you whatever you want to hear so that you'll stick around 'til he can screw you. Actions speak louder than words. Probably the only way to tell if he's in it for the sex or not is... don't have sex with him! Of any kind! And tell him not to expect sex - of any kind - with you any time soon. (I'd venture a guess that you got pretty physical pretty fast with these guys who "messed around" with you in the past. If so, it's time to change how you do things, wouldn't you say?) If he sticks around with a positive attitude, he wants you as a person. If his attitude takes a turn for the worse and he bolts, you'll know all he wanted was a lay. Watch his behaviour closely - if he's just in it to hit it, that will show. Listen to what your gut tells you about his intentions.
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