A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Why would a man or a woman walk away from their kids?I am a little upset right now.I am settled in a relationship and happy. I have two wonderful kids from a pervious relationship.My ex texted me before and said that he can't stand me, he hates me so much that he has decided he doesn't want to see the kids and is moving away.So I have been left to explain this to the kids AND he seems to be blaming me for this,when I thought things were ok.How can anyone just up and leave their kids?I am in total shock!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI am quite offended by your response CMMP, because regardless of if I am a nightmare or not (which I am not), it is NO excuse to walk away from his children.
He hardly saw me, only on collection of the children.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2013): I'm sorry that is horrible. He is a selfish jerk, who isn't thinking of them, just himself. I don't know the age of the children, or if he saw them often. I agree with the other response, I wouldn't say anything for awhile, maybe he'll come to his senses. When you do tell them, I'd make sure they know it has nothing to do with them. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (4 November 2013):
 My Mother seemed to not have any problem doing what you ask...... She up and left (5) kids, ages 12 - 19....
What I "learned", over time, was that my Dad was an outstanding Father.. my Mom was a less-than-dedicated Mother... and (that) we kids .... especially me, since I was the youngest.... were 'way better off with ONE great parent (my Father)... than with any arrangement that included my Mother as a parent....
Years later, all was relatively "reconciled".... but my Mother never really did get in to her kids' hearts...
YOU could be that ONE great parent. Give it a try... You "sound" like you're up to it!!!!
Good luck...
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (4 November 2013):
Either you were a nightmare to deal with and are oblivious, or he's just a selfish person who thinks that his well being is more important than those who he helped bring into this world.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2013): Before saying anything to the kids i personally would wait to see if your ex means it. He is obviously feeling some sort of resentment but it may burn itself out and he may come crawling back wanting to see the kids. So i would give it a few months and THEN mention it to the kids so they don't get hurt by their dad if they don't have to. But don't slag him off no matter how he is pointing the finger at you. Kids pick up more than we often precieve - they can tell who is reliable and who is not.
Rather than saying he doesn't want to see them, just say they he's busy right now and see what happens.
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A
male
reader, M Proops +, writes (4 November 2013):
Make sure you inform the child support agency,he has legal responsibilities for his children.This kind of thing happens all too often in the UK now.We have a useless government too preoccupied with the criminal's human rights.I sympathise with you,no man should be allowed to dump his own kids he should be ashamed of himself but in the UK today there is no shame and men like him don't give a fig.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2013): This isn't your fault, it isn't the children fault .. It is something he is doing .. My ex sister inlaw left my brother for another man and left behind her 12 yr old son ( my nephew) with no more than backward glance .. Why because she had found true love ( so she said later) and it was easier for her to start a new life with her partner without her son getting in the way..Fast forward ten years her son married and has a lil one of his own, he loves his wife his family and has only seen his mother spardorically, now she wants to be the doting granny .. She fussy over his, lil boy to the point it has caused issues ..So yes people can get up and walk away whatever their sex.. But what you have to remember this isn't about you or the kids ... It's about him and his selfishness .. Don't let his words bother you .. Tell him look I want you to see the children . This isn't about you or me .. It's only about them .. And if you choose not too that's your choice ..
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