A
male
age
30-35,
*hadow_Phathom_of_the_Opera
writes:Whoa, 4 years now, and I've been playing the wrong cards. I thought for this time, I've been trying to attract my crush, and just ask her out on JUST one date, and I found out a rumor for the first time she might be bisexual. Now, if this statement is true, I have no experience in this field, and this would make things harder (from the soap/shampoo I use, to the way I act, flirt, etc).How do I change my game-plan that I can appeal to a Bisexual Woman. It's got to be possible, and It's got to have been done successfully before. How? I'm not desperate, but this is something I still want to do before I die. I would like to ask her out, just once. Really, I'll do almost anything.How do you attract a bisexual woman, if you are a straight man?
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (3 January 2011):
 I've heard of men who are not interested in sex, relax. I didn't imply that you only want sex with her either. But back to the point: you date her like you'd date any other woman. Of course you want to make it a special night, but there's no text book answer for what a "special night" includes. Perhaps good conversation and a spark of connection or cosmical alignments.
If you have a good time with this girl in general, then your date could probably work out great as well.
A
male
reader, Shadow_Phathom_of_the_Opera +, writes (3 January 2011):
Shadow_Phathom_of_the_Opera is verified as being by the original poster of the question @"Chigirl" & "Anonymous":
MORE IMPORTANTLY:
I have no interest in sex whatsoever. I just want to date her, just once, and give her a perfect night no other guy (or girl) ever gave to her. Sex is on my LOWEST PRIORITY. I literally mean LOWEST! Not every man wants sex, and if you said you never heard of a guy that doesn't want it, call me the first (I believe in marriage first before anything like that can be considered).
@ "Anonymous": I am aware of the obvious. I am a gentleman, and would not go about telling others, nor asking her about it. However, I wouldn't call it a bucket list. Just something to see where it goes, and if she doesn't want to so anything more, then so be it, and if she does, same there, I'll think about asking her out again. (I phrased it wrong earlier, forgive me). Yes, my hair is at least (and unfortunately) Justin Bebier length. -.-; Probably going to dye it black (since she saw it once before black & red, and she really liked it, when it's often/naturally a shadow blonde).
However, My best talents is that I can draw very, very good (Van Gogh/Brad Olrich Quality), and for Christmas earlier, bought a pair of purple Gloves, then crafted and sewn a rose on it. I AM PSYCHICALLY active, and I have the strength and physique to be (and was) the 2nd fastest Track Member on my team, and gained a purple belt in Karate. I'm also extremely creative, and have an extensive knowledge in Nintendo, as well as Manga and Anime (Yes, I am a psychically fit geek, lol).
My weakest talent is Music. I love to listen to it, but I don't have enough skill to play an instrument. Also, it'd be very hard for me to eat vegetables, (90% of my dinners involve some sort of meat, otherwise, breakfast and lunch are normal). Unfortunately, I'm allergic to citrus (particularly citric acid), so tea is a no. Coffee, I might be able to pull off, but I've been trying to cut back on caffeine lately. Often, I have money burning holes in my pockets, which has to be my biggest weakness of all. I'm willing to buy someone anything (but I've changed some since the last times I've been with other women, but I know the urge is still there on compulsive buying).
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More about her, She's a scholar, extremely intelligent, a bookworm, a moviegoer, and often either by herself, or (this is where I finally overheard it), with her homosexual/bisexual friends. This is where I had the fear I didn't stand a chance. On the other hand, she likes
Gothic-Renaissance/Mid-evil style things (knights in armor, days of the Sistine chapel art, etc)... and She likes the colors black, purple, red, and sky blue.
Any more advice, or anything else I should know?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2011): I think you have some misguided notions about relating to women in general and they will get in your way of getting anywhere with this women. Developing a strategy is not your greatest challenge here.The first issue is that you are overheated about a rumor that she "might be bisexual." It is pretty common for women to have bisexual experiences, it is far less common that they are in fact bisexual. If you think two university students making out after drinking too much (perhaps how the rumor started) are neccessarily bisexual, than you've probably already dated one. You also seem to think that sex with a bisexual woman will be somehow different than sex with a straight woman. I don't really see how as the anatomy is the same. If she is in fact bisexual, it doesn't neccessarily mean she is promiscous as well and will automatically want to "bring a friend along."I had my share of drunken make out sessions with girlfriends while in university. They were often orchestrated for the sole purpose of attracting men's attention. I have literally had a women say to me mid-kiss, "...we can stop now, he's not looking anymore."When I left university I pretty much described myself as straight.Even at the age of 27 when I met a woman who made a pass at me, I told her I liked her a lot (and I did), but I insisted to her I was straight. After we hung out quite a bit, things changed. We end up dating for a couple months. No one was more surprised about it than me. I really liked her. I enjoyed our relationship most of the time and at no point did I want to make it a threesome. I have not dated a woman since and I don't go around calling myself bisexual. I just met the right person. Since then, I've dated men. I'm not sure I'm bisexual...but if you would classify me as such, here is my advice: As far as my taste in men go, I would say I have enjoyed being with men who are very secure in their sexuality. They knew what they liked, but they weren't trying to please anyone and they weren't trying to score. No machismo. I believe they were genuinely curious about me as a person. If you are looking at her as some sort of bucket list experience, she will be able to sniff it out instantly and she will blacklist you. Don't mention that you know or heard she's bisexual. ( I don't tell men about the woman I dated until I've been with them for a while.) Some men might describe the men I've dated as unmasculine, hippy or "gay" for various reasons. I don't know what kind of picture that paints for you. One was told he was "gay" because he liked to take photographs and collect artwork. Another had suspicion cast on him because he read self help books and did yoga and was apparently too "spiritual" to be straight.So, If you want really want to change your shampoo out over this girl (that was a hilarious post), I would suggest go for the sexually neutral and ambigious presentation. -Herbal Essences or something organic.-Drink tea as well as coffee.-Eat vegetables or a salad at the meal. Or tell her you tried being vegetarian once.-If you are interested at all in the arts or music, this is time to put your photos up and display your guitar.-Grow your hair out a bit. Don't get a #2 hair cut.-Don't be afraid to talk about your emotions. Be passionate about something. Be open about fears. Funny, funny post...it really made my day. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, Shadow_Phathom_of_the_Opera +, writes (1 January 2011):
Shadow_Phathom_of_the_Opera is verified as being by the original poster of the question@chigirl: I meant that seriously. I really don't know if there is a major difference or not. Thanks though for clearing that up.
I just have always wanted to ask her out, just once, and I've never been able to.
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (1 January 2011):
Is this a joke question? You don't change your "game" or soap and shampoo over this. She's bisexual not gay, so that means she still likes guys. You don't change anything. Really, where did you get the idea that bisexual women like a different kind of man? They have different taste just like ALL women have different taste, but they still are attracted to men the same as any straight woman is.
Forget about her being bisexual, it doesn't change anything except perhaps she'll be more up for a threesome.
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