A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:How can a guy be still in love after 15 years? He is a family friend, same age and loves me like a crazy. He proposed me few times but I wasn’t ready to get married and didn’t accept. I got married 8 years ago but he is not dating anyone because he says he can’t see anyone taking my place in his heart and made it clear that he won’t get married for rest of his life. He is good looking, educated and very successful. He is an executive director of a very good company and very social person. So I know even some girls ask him out but he refuses to date anyone. I saw him after 4 years when I came back home and felt so bad for him as he saw me and couldn’t hide that he was shaking. How can I help him? I feel as guilty as I caused this problem and even we could have a very good life together but it didn’t happen because of me. How can I help him? Thanks for your advice. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (9 March 2012):
 One can fall in love and have a hard time for ages, but 15 years is way too much. Something else is the matter. I think you just need to go on with your life.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (8 March 2012):
 There is nothing you can do for him.
He has chosen to carry the flame for you as a way to avoid intimacy as an adult.
this is NOT anything YOU did.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (8 March 2012):
 YOU don't have to do a darn thing for this guy....
HE has chosen to continue "carrying the torch" for you, despite his knowing that YOU have gone on with your life...
I WAS that guy for the longest time.... but - after a while - I figured out that the girl had moved on.... and I ought to do so, as well.....
Good luck...
P.S. Fast-forward 15 MORE years and we are now good friends!!!!
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (8 March 2012):
 I don't think you can help him other than completely breaking contact so he can forget and move on, but he seems pretty entrenched in his love for you. You are married but you must ask yourself what you would do or how you would feel if this man moved on and forgot you. Would it make you unhappy? and do you actually secretly love having someone in unrequieted love for you?
If that is is the case, you are absolutely not helping him by maintaining contact.
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