A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I know I am not the only one experiencing problem with this ongoing pandemic but I'm wondering if any of the wonderful aunts and uncles could give me some advice that perhaps I haven't tried or thought of?I am having such a hard time just trying to live a "normal" life. I am so scared all the time of catching the virus and becoming very ill. You can't escape reading about it or hearing about it unless you just don't turn on the tv or get on the internet. Everything the media spews out is so frightening and disturbing. I am very lucky that I work from home. I only go out to walk every day. I have my groceries delivered (bless those people that deliver). I wear a mask everywhere, use gloves everywhere, wash all my groceries and never go into any stores or order delivery. I do everything possible to be safe and yet I'm still terrified.I practice yoga, I exercise every day. I stay in touch with my family. I meditate. I listen to ASMR videos to help me sleep at night. I'm still scared. Do others feel this way too? Or have I just let fear totally take over? I've tried talking to my doctor but her answer is to "take precautions and wash your hands" and she offered to give me anti-anxiety medicine. That's it. Just wondering how others are dealing with all this?
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female
reader, Dionee'  +, writes (3 December 2020):
 My anxiety isn't related to the pandemic in any way, shape or form. I've been taking the necessary precautions so I know that I will be okay. However, I do suffer from anxiety and I noticed that it was worsening due to being inside and isolated all the time. What I know about myself is that I need to keep busy and be productive if I want to soften the effects of my constant anxiety. I exercise when I can. I try to stick to eating mostly healthy besides my cheat days here and there but besides these things, I have started doing various online short courses in various things that I am interested in. These short courses are super affordable and quite fun but that also allows me to feel super productive when working through them. So you could try to do some of those in your free time. Besides that, taking time out to meditate or pray has been helpful. Listening to my favourite music has been good too and keeping the home and my space super clean and comfortable has been excellent because it helps my mind feel clear and it makes me feel less anxious almost immediately.
You've got to realise that there is only so much that you can do. You seem to be on top of being very responsible with your health during this time by making sure to take all of the necessary precautions and that's just about all that you can do. Try to focus on yourself and how you feel inside. Not necessarily the external environment because as I've said, if you're doing all that you can, I doubt that you would fall ill. I would not suggest depending on medications because I think that all you need is to develop some good habits and improve your overall routine especially since you're stuck in the house like so many of us.
I hope that my advice has helped you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2020): I have also struggled at times during this pandemic. I was off work for 5 months during our first lockdown due to working in the hospitality industry (uk). The first couple of months were tough and I was riddled with anxiety. I live alone and was unable to see friends and family. I also fell into some really unhealthy habits to cope. Eating junk food, watching too much tv, not sleeping or leaving the house at all.After a couple of months I realised these unhealthy habits were making me feel worse. So I decided to make some changes. I started exercising everyday, eating healthier foods, sitting in the garden as often as I can and going for an hour walk everyday in the forest. I did this to take care of my body. To take care of my mind - I also meditated and practiced yoga daily, I started a journal. I stopped watching tv in the day and used the time instead to get things done (clean, baking, cooking, organising, creative projects). I had relaxing bubble baths. I made sure I got dressed everyday to make things as normal as possible which also helped to give me motivation. I went to bed at the same time every night and woke up the same time everyday to keep a normal bedtime routine. I stopped watching the news. Spent a couple of hours a week on the phone to a different friend or family member.After a while I noticed I started to feel better and my anxiety lessened. I felt healthy, began sleeping better. I went back to work for 2 months and was then plunged into another lockdown and haven’t been back to work since. But I’ve kept up the same routine I had the last lockdown and i’m coping so much better. Most of all I’ve changed my mindset. Instead of thinking how terrible this lockdown is and how isolated I am. I now think about it as an opportunity. An opportunity to practice cooking new recipes. An opportunity to do all the things I’ve been putting off that I can do. An opportunity to practice self care etc. That is what has helped me. Being a manager my job can be long hours, little sleep and food and a lot of stress. Although I love my job it’s made me realise that I need to take better care of myself. I feel so much healthier now than I have for a long time and in turn has helped my anxiety massively. Find things that relax you and make sure you spend some time every week on yourself to relax. Even when this pandemic is over I have also learnt the importance of relaxation and spending time on yourself to ease anxiety. I love to have a bubble bath with Epsom salts, bath bomb, bath essence, candles and soft music, face and hair masks. I just close my eyes and focus on the smells, the flickering light, soft music and it really relaxes me. All we can do during this time is take care of ourselves mind and body. Make a list of things you can do to help your body during this time and the things you can do to help your mind and make sure you do 1 thing for your mind and body daily. Giving yourself a goal to be healthy and seeing it as an opportunity to do so had helped to take my mind of the craziness that is this pandemic.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2020): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much to all the wonderful aunts and uncles who were kind enough to take time to give thoughtful and caring advice. I most certainly will take all of your advice and incorporate it into my daily life. I prefer not to take medication even though it would be a quick fix, in the long run it really isn't what I want or need. I do need to remember as others have pointed out that life is full of uncertainty and I could walk out today and be hit by a bus. Its all in how you look at things.
Again, thank you so much everyone!
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female
reader, EmmyApple +, writes (1 December 2020):
I’m just like you. I feel scared and I haven’t been outside in months. But I’m learning how to feel more comfortable by practicing self care and self love. It’s been a journey.Thank God I work from home. But I almost lost my job in the spring because my productivity dropped so much. I felt overwhelming anxiety when the pandemic started and it was debilitating. I spent every day stress eating in front of the TV. I had a whole pint of ice cream every night for months. I couldn’t sleep at night and I felt too exhausted to do any chores. Eating and shopping are how I naturally relieve stress but because I couldn’t go out, I did it all online. I spent a fortune getting fast food and new clothes delivered. Shopping online helped occupy my time and made me feel good in the moment, but when clothes arrived they never fit right and then I just felt depressed. I often laid in bed all morning unable to get myself up. I was a mess for months but in the summer I started to turn things around. Here is my advice:* Get as comfy as possible. Lots of pillows and cozy blankets. Wear comfy clothes. Don’t get dressed unless you need to. I am mostly in undies all day and it feels great.* Make time for yourself. Take a long, relaxing bubble bath every night. Get a massage gun to relieve muscle tension.* Treat yourself to new things on a regular basis but not too often. I order a few pieces of new clothing once a week. I don’t really need clothes but the browsing clothes online is so relaxing and gives me a reward to look forward to each week.* I don’t know if it’s warm enough where you are, but in the summertime I would lay by my pool in my backyard to sunbathe. I was honestly a bit scared about going out at first but it’s fine because no one is around. The sun felt so nice and it was very relaxing.* Exercise is important and this is something I really failed at until recently. I was already a bit overweight when the pandemic started... now I’m 40 pounds more. I didn’t exercise at all for months. The turning point for me was feeling out of breath and lightheaded going up the stairs of my house - so much so I had to stop and catch my breath. It scared me and made me realize I’m seriously out of shape. I bought a Peloton bike and it has been a challenge to start a routine. I’ve only used it a couple times because it’s hard to feel motivated. I wasn’t sure if it would be comfortable for an plus size woman to ride but it was okay after getting used to it, even tho I could only do a few minutes. Take baby steps and don’t pressure yourself. Stop when you’ve had enough and don’t push it.* Ask your doctor about meds - I’m on a bunch of different meds and they can help a lot.Take baby steps. Don’t be hard on yourself. You are going through a lot. It’s normal to feel scared. Self-care is important. Love yourself. 3
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2020): Hi
Loss of freedom concerns me.
Although we are not free and have to make sacrifices, I try and stay free in my mind because I see no real end to this, even with the vaccine, I am one of those who had a severe allergic reaction to the flu jab at work a few years ago, I was paralyzed for 3 days. So I have to really think about this vaccine when it becomes available and as it stands now, I don't know. Then I hear we are been forced into it, another freedom taken away. This concerns me, where we are heading.
I take care with masks and gels and at work and with those around me, and that's all I can do, I don't and won't live in fear although the virus is very real.
I have deep concerns about what I see as clear as day, the changes taking place (almost like a jigsaw) and I see the end picture. Nothing to do with conspiracy theories, however, some so-called conspiracies are factual events and portrayed as Conspiracy. I suppose the flat earthers view the bible as a conspiracy as well, with its prophecies of the future. I don't.
I hear of freedom passes, this gets my back up because 'we are free'. I hear of Artificial Intelligence robot cats to combat loneliness for the elderly, No! dance and talk with the elderly, listen to their stories and wisdom, let them feel human. We are getting separated and desensitized and clinical. I have seen how wonderful AI can be, especially in the medical world, but this pandemic in my mind, is ushering in a whole new state of being, my motto is live like horses, wild and free at least in our minds for now.
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female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (30 November 2020):
 Everyone has their own outlook and their own way of getting through this horrible time - and there is no disputing it IS a horrible time. People with anxiety are suffering horrendously. Mental health issues are at an all time high.
I refuse to be too afraid to live. I don't listen to the scaremongering of the media or our government who have made so many u-turns and changed their minds so many times that I am surprised they are not all dizzy with the constant changes of direction. What intrigues me is how we suddenly talk about nothing but Covid. Terrorism seems to have disappeared. Child abusers seems to have disappeared. Nobody mentions Brexit (I am in the UK) even though this will have a HUGE impact on our lives, much more so than this year's virus.
As I see it, I could die in a car accident tomorrow. Does that stop me going out? Of course not. I could suffer a fatal heart attack tomorrow. Does that stop me eating and drinking what I am told could contribute to this? Not really. I could get mugged and fatally injured walking down the road. Does that stop me going out? Like hell it does. Why would I stop living my life because there is a virus out there which I have a slight chance of catching and which, even if I catch it, I have 99.5+% chance of surviving?
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (30 November 2020):
 From what I have read, taking some extra Vitamin D and Zink is also very good.
I have my kids and myself on a 2,000 vitamin D and a zink daily. Hubby is on a 3,000 daily vitamin D.
I stay away from the news in general. Because I don't want to wade though all the negativity.
As I love to cook, read and sew I try 1-2 new recipes a week, read at least one book a week, and I'm working on some Christmas gifts (sewn) for my family. I've taking up quilting and I'm working on a bedspread. Probably won't be done until the new year and that's OK.
As far as Covid? Do I worry? More for my kids than me. Because it affect their lives WAY more than mine. Thankfully, they seem to be dealing OK with it all. What I DO hold on to is this, I HAVE 0 ZERO control over Covid. I accept that. What I can control is making sure I eat right, exercise, take vitamins, meditate, keep my mask on in public, keep the hygiene up (which really is NOT that different for me, as I have always washed my hands a lot.) I already do a gargle of mouthwash in the morning and evening (supposedly that can kill Covid virus but it's not a CURE.)
I, like you, DO all that *I* can to keep safe. WHAT else can you do? We can't all go hibernate and then "*poof*" we are all safe in 30 days or 6 months. That isn't realistic. That is not how it works. Covid (the virus) is here to stay. If we are lucky, it will keep mutating into a weaker and weaker version.
Also it is VERY important to consider the survival rate. "Breitbart News confirmed the updated age-specific survival rates: 0-19 years old, 99.997 percent; 20-49 years old, 99.98 percent; 50-69 years, 99.5 percent; and 70 years old or older, 94.6" - I think those numbers are pretty darn good!
There are more cases because more and more people get tested and many get MULTIPLE tests. And because more people HAS to work to keep their family alive which means... more people (who don't have the choice to stay home and work from home) are out and about. My daughter's high school went from 0 positive cases to 70 in 4 months. They are now remote. NONE of the 70 has been hospitalized. About 5 had symptoms like a BAD case of the flu. ALL were re-tested after 10 days (I believe it was) and tested negative. That include teachers AND students. One of the teachers STILL taught (remotely from home) the DAY after he tested positive. No one else in his household tested positive.
Now I know this is a SMALL pocket of people. But I think the odds are good.
So what can you do? LOOK for the silver lining, the positive. Be up on your self care. Accept that you CAN not control a virus OR other people. Life too will go on.
Chin up, OP
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female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (30 November 2020):
 I think that everyone is frightened in some way shape or form, OP. If you have any knowledge at all about Covid-19 then you realize how very dangerous it can be for some people. Yes, they say that 80% of people experience "minor symptoms" and yet so many people have become very ill or even died. Its definitely a force to be reckoned with. Its disturbing that there are those who don't believe its "real". What kind of proof do they want???
At this point in time, I am going with the theory that part of it seems to be the luck of the draw. Some people just seem to be more lucky than others in how sick they get. Oh yes, there are factors to be consider such as age, weight, overall health, even blood type and yet you see very young succumb to it and people in their 90's survive!
I think that you are doing quite a big of good for yourself. You are keeping yourself safe, practicing safe distance and trying to keep your mind and body in good shape. I believe it gets to a point where you have to tell yourself that you have done everything possible to protect yourself and you have to find a way to let go. Fear can easily overwhelm and rule you if you allow it to do so.
I'm not sure if you are religious but I find comfort when I meditate and pray. I get very shook up reading the internet and refuse to read about the virus more than once a week because the information usually isn't very helpful and all it does it stir up more fear inside of me.
My husband is a medical doctor. He's afraid but we have talked in great depth about this whole pandemic and he has done everything he can to reassure me that we are being smart and cautious. I will tell you that he isn't too overly thrilled with the vaccine. He is a researcher so he knows far more than I do about the vaccine but when he tells me that he doesn't feel comfortable getting the first shots available, I listen. He says he will continue to practice safe behavior and will sit back and watch and see what happens.
We are close to our 60's so age is not on our sides. That of course worries me, as does the fact that we both have type A positive blood. It doesn't have the antigens that seems to help fight off the virus.
I could let fear rule me but I refuse to let it. You have to live! You have to find comfort and light even in these times. Don't allow fear and darkness to take over you. Do whatever you need to do to be safe. Reach out to others when you are feeling frightened and overwhelmed. Find places on the internet where you can chat about things that you are interested and enjoy. Keep exercising! Work with your hobbies..get new hobbies!
I write in a journal when I really feel overwhelmed. Sometimes it just helps to write it all down what I am thinking and feeling. I list all the good things in my life and what I am thankful for. I exercise until I am exhausted so that my mind is too tired to think scary thoughts.
I won't rule out anti-anxiety pills for you. They can be helpful if taken the right way.
Be strong. Listen to calming music. Remember that you are not alone. We are all scared. Some people just hide it better than others. Just don't let fear take over!
I wish you all the best.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2020): Do not take those kind of meds unless you absolutely have to.Getting off of them is terrible.Convulsions and seizures are what happens when getting off of them.I will never take that c r a p again.I live in a legal with prescription kind of state and that is what works for me.No side effects.I can eat a gummy and in a hour or so all is well.There are also drops of I need the med to work sooner.Never any withdrawals with medical and it really works well.This is a very good natural medicine.It is a shame that stigmas exist and people do not utilize it more. If you can get it where you live it might be good for you to try.No side effects and no withdrawal but you might get very hungrey.lol.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2020): I am retired so I don't have to go out and I never go out. I follow the 3 instructions i.e hygiene, distance, and mask. Obviously I worry too like everybody else but not as much as you do I think. I keep optimistic that a vaccine is almost within reach now and at last there is a light at the end of the tunnel also I keep in mind that the rate of survival if I happens catch the virus is pretty high. These things help me to bear the hardships and remain optimistic. I hope you do the same. Good luck.
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