A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Been talking to this guy for three weeks. Met on a dating app. He canceled our first meet up do to covid but says he wants to see me and we will meet soon. I told him I want to hear his voice but we have yet to talk on the phone and video chat. We text everyday and he never makes me wait long unless he is sleep or working (he is a semi-driver). I really enjoy texting him. On his off days we sometimes text all day if he isn’t busy with whatever. I asked to hear his voice and nothing and I hint at meeting up because I’m trying to let him take the lead the second time around after the cancellation and I don’t get definite answers. What should I do? I want to keep talking to him but is it a waste of my time? Oh and we are 2.5 hours away from eachother. And from the pics he has sent me he seems a little bigger than the ones on his profile but I don’t mind really - so I was wondering maybe it’s a lack of confidence thing going on..... but idk.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2020): I’m the girl who asked the question. Lol just came to say we talked on the phone and met up and had a great first date and have another one coming up on Saturday. I realize now that things do come up out of nowhere that people can’t control. The kisses were bomb. Thanks k byeeeee lmfao. Thanks for answering my question though.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2020): It does not matter what the reasons are. The only thing you need to do is decide whether or not you want to keep giving him a lot of your time in the hope if things turning out better eventually. Personally if i were single I would not date someone who works such long hours driving about, where you rarely get to see them and always when it suits them. You would also have to bear in mind that drivers are notorious for wanting more than one woman - if they are lucky enough to get them. He could start to date you and still texting and chatting to others - even if it is just to make driving about less lonely.It sounds as if he is older and far worse looking than he told you. It may well be that his voice would give that away. Lots of things are possible. He could be a woman who pretends to be a man. You will probably never know - and why do you care? All that matters is that the best that can happen here is that you get to date a man who is a driver. The worst that can happen is that you get to chat to him in texts.One mistake you are making is to chat to him for as long as he wants when he wants - be less available.It smacks of desperation and having no life. Next time he wants to sit and text for ages be too busy. You are making it all far too easy for him to take you for granted.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2020): Why? My question is, why bother if he won't?
It's likely he's married. He probably texts dozens of women while he's on the road. He doesn't want to get you too attached, and red-flags should have gone-up as soon as you knew he was a semi-driver. They are gone for days or weeks on trips; and you'll be writing DC to complain, because you never get to see him.
If you ask me, it's for the better that he doesn't get you too attached. It bothers you so much that you've written, because he won't chat over the phone; imagine how you'll feel if you get infatuated, and he's always on the road!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (30 November 2020):
 My guess?
He is older and more out of shape than he told you or perhaps rather that his PROFILE "hints" at. The pics on his profile are old. The ones he recently sent are "newer" but not necessarily new.
Not wanting to talk over the phone? Weird. Especially if this is someone you are hoping it will lead to something "more".
Covid's been around for a WHILE now so making plans to MEET and then cancelling it due to Covid sounds lame and flaky.
Personally? I think you are wasting your time. Seems like he wants someone to talk to.
Also, how well do you think you can conduct an ACTUAL relationship if you live 2 1/2 hours away WHEN he is home? That's a lot of extra driving for someone who drives for a living and quite a distance for you as well. I know 250 miles isn't much (by American standards) but it IS quite a distance in the day to day.
If I were you, I'd look for someone closer to home. Someone you can get to see on a daily basis. (not that you HAVE see someone you date EVERY day, but having the option is nice).
It's only been 3 weeks and he really doesn't sound like he wants to engage too "deeply" - I mean a phone or videocall is NOT much to ask for.
I'd wish him well and block him.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2020): I'm with Kenny.
If you were doing this dating search thing right, you would be talking to several people, and you would barely feel the need to be here for just one texter who's acting strange.
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A
male
reader, kenny  +, writes (30 November 2020):
 I think that this guy seems rather flaky to me, so on that basis I think that you should continue with your dating search.
You asked to hear his voice, and you got nothing, and you don't get definite answers.
He is holding back, and being vague, for reasons we don't know. I think that you should refrain from sending anymore texts and move on.
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