A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Whenever I try and say something honestly to my partner, they get upset immediately and get in a mood with me. How am I supposed to deal with this? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, FluffyPie +, writes (23 August 2010):
 Well, it's not WHAT you're trying to tell him, it's about HOW you put it.
I know that being honest is very important, but more important is how you approach the subject. It doesn't have to sound like you're blaming him or you don't have to sound too subjective. You need to gain his attention and interest by comforting him. You need to be calm, but firm. Otherwise, he will consider you quarrelsome and he'll see an enemy in you.
On the other hand, if he's the impulsive type and you've done your best, you can write him small letters. I know it sounds dumb, a friend of my mother actually tried it with her husband, and after that, he was the one who initiated the conversation about the UPs and DOWNs in their relationship and they started to actually communicate more open, and without one feeling insulted by the other.
Good luck!
A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (23 August 2010):
Hi there. I guess it depends on what you are being honest about, and not so much what you talk about but how you say it.
I can only assume that perhaps you have said to your partner, something they did that you didn't like and criticised them about it. You can say anything, but it all depends on how you convey that message.
If you point out something and speak with love and respect and stay positive about it, you will get a much better reception. You also need to stay calm and not get angry.
Your partner in turn, will then treat you with love and respect in moments of conflict also.
It comes down to good, clear communication. Very important in all relationships. Also, consideration for the consequences of your actions. Weighing it all up before you speak.
Best wishes.
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