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female
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anonymous
writes: I'm 17, going off to college in a little over a month, and such. However, the main thought on my mind, as random as it is, are these feelings I realized that I have for my Boss. Well, he's not THE Boss, more like the Assistant Manager. He's older. 25, I think. Much taller. (I'm rather short).. Oh and yeah, he's basically my Boss. Upper-management, whatever you'd like to call it. I'm pretty sure that he has a girlfriend, but then, how should I know? We do flirt. I think whenever it started... months ago I guess, it was never intentional. Of course, months ago, he was holding my hand in a dream I had one night, and I woke up the next morning disgusted. I find it funny now that I actually like him. He was always there. That's pretty much all I can say. Even if though most of it was just work-related, I came to realize that I needed him to be there. I mean, I get it. Yes, it's his job to look after the associates, not just tell them what to do. But in effect, I always felt he cared. Even if I wasn't going to share why I felt so depressed some days, he always waited to hear why.Of course, later, I began to realize this dependency was stemming an attraction once I started looking into his eyes ... Anyways. Back to the point. Although it's a thrill to wonder if he's ever returned these feelings, I do understand the impracticality of my romantic day dreams. And I'm willing to live with that and move on.My question is whether or not I should tell him how I feel about him before I leave. It'd take a lot of courage for me to just suddenly step over the barrier and tell my manager that I have a crush on him. If I do, in the end, I just want to let him know he's a wonderful person to fall for. (Well, despite the circumstances). But like I said, I don't have to mention that I've had romantic feelings for him, but I don't want to go on without telling him that it never existed. This is the only part I'm not resolved on. Whether or not, or how to tell him.
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female
reader, Pinky +, writes (24 June 2006):
 Is telling him really going to benefit YOU? You're going away to college; how much chance is there of a relationship between the two of you? It's not helpful to entertain any romantic thoughts about coworkers or bosses because getting involved with them can create bad blood later. It is also unethical because there can be accusations of favortism etc. Is this man really worth telling how you felt about him? Not every affectionate feeling needs to be declared. There have been many men I've fancied in my life and I never made an announcement to them about it. There should also be no workplace flirting because this encourages confusion -- where is the line? Perhaps you feel nicely about him because he "took care of" you in your position, but you're smart enough to realize that it may just be him doing his job well. Don't put too much into this. You can just maybe leave him a little card expressing that it was nice to work with him and how you appreciated your time at the company. you can say something professionally that is thankful and encouraging without losing respect. Good luck with college!
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