A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:theres this guy i like. ALOT.we arent together yet but we ae thinking of it.recently he came round mine and asked if he could use my phone charger as it is the same as his.he went out of the room for about 20 mins or so.i found myself reading through his messages =[. i feel really bad about reading them.however, there were messages from this other girl. who he has previously got together with.he says he loves me, but after reading these sexually charged texts i feel different.i really like him though?! what should i do?!all feedback will be read.thankyou zxx
View related questions:
text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Joseph W. South  +, writes (28 October 2007):
 Unless you guys have agreed to be exclusive, there is nothing that unusual about another young woman finding him interesting too. What I would suggest you do in this case is ASK HIM about it, not in an accusatory or bitchy way. Then you can decide if you want to continue with him or not.
Now, the best way to get a guy to stop thinking about someone else is to get him thinking about YOU. And that's easy to do once you know how.
The Joseph W. South Show
http://joseph.libsyn.com
A
female
reader, tulipdame  +, writes (26 October 2007):
I would agree with the people before me who said he sounds like a player and he shouldn't be sending sexually charged messages and telling you he loves you at the same time. Young people are way too permiscuous these days and also too willing to accept it in others. There are way too many excuses like technically you are still not together - that's an excuse to me.
Being in a relationship requires that you train your mind to only think sexually about one other person and he's nowhere near that! At what point does he stop sending sexually explicit messages to her? If you say I love you back, do you think at that point it will just stop? Do you not think he will still "have the hots" for her five minutes into your relationship? If you really like him, he probably knows it, so that should already be a point past which things should have cooled off with her, if he was planning on doing that and it was a mistake.
It just doesn't sound like a good situation to me. It is easy to judge her for allowing herself to be in a sexual relationship where there is no commitment, but we should judge him as well. If he doesn't want to commit to her, why is he keeping in touch?
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2007): If you are not with him in a steady relationship then he can get texts of who he likes. How would you like it if he read your phone texts? Not nice! That just isnt done. He must of trusted you to leave his phone in your hands, now give him some respect. He isnt your steady boyfriend.
take care
xx
...............................
A
female
reader, blueeyedbabe +, writes (25 October 2007):
He may not have got a chance to delete the messages that this girl had been sending him. You two arent together as of yet so i wouldnt get too worried. I would definately find out how serious his 'thing' with the other girl was. You dont want to be played by him. You've got to ask yourself the question how badly do i like him? You could get hurt by this boy, is it really worth it?
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2007): Did he write them back to her? Young ppl. these days are way too promiscuious. He sounds like a player baby.
...............................
A
male
reader, AirRevenant +, writes (25 October 2007):
 We first of all have to cover that you probably shouldn't have read his text messages because it definetly crosses a line of trust. But, that having already happened, and the past being unchangeable, are the messages that you read through recent messages? If he is telling you he loves you, but if he is still sending "sexually charged" messages to another person, I would suggest not starting up something with him because obviously it won't be a relationship of fidelity.
...............................
A
female
reader, Sweet-thing +, writes (25 October 2007):
 Well I wouldn't worry too much about the text messages from the other girl, considering that you and him aren't even together as of yet. Don't reveal to him that you read through his messages, but you might just tell him you've heard rumors about him and this other girl, and just wonder how he feels about her. If you are considering a relationship with him, just let him know that you expect him to be exclusive to you, or the deal is off. Hopefully after that, he'll stop texting this other girl and focus on your relationship. Good luck.
...............................
|
