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His story sounds pretty far fetched to me, what do you think?

Tagged as: Dating, Friends, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 March 2007) 3 Answers - (Newest, 14 March 2007)
A female , anonymous writes:

i dont know why i get suspicious and i probably shouldnt

my b/f was driving home and called me and it was about 10:30 at night..he arrived home b/c i heard him speaking to family members in the house..i said i would call later on...i called about midnight and no answer and he usually picks up or calls me back...this morning he said he was sleeping and later woke up and saw it but figured he would just talk to me tomorrow(even though he always calls even if its late) i cant help but be suspicious but it seems far fetched doesnt it? he was driving home from somewhere arrived home and then decided to go back out and cheat or something..being paranoid right?

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (14 March 2007):

kenny agony auntI don't think you boyfriend did anything suspicious. you called him at 10.30, you know he was at home because you heard family members in the background.

I would be inclined to believe what he said, that he saw it and would call you tommorow, as he was probably half asleep.

I would give him the benefit of the doubt, and don't accuse him of being unfaithful. Has he ever done anything to betray your trust in the past to give you these thoughts.

If its really eating you up then probably best you both have a talk and get whats bothering you off your chest.

Good luck x

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A female reader, TasteofIndia United States +, writes (14 March 2007):

TasteofIndia agony auntHi sweetness,

I don't think the story sounds far-fetched. I don't know your boyfriend, granted, but couldn't it be that he was just sleeping? Maybe he hung out with his family for awhile, then fell asleep? When he woke up in the middle of the night, maybe he just didn't feel like talking on the phone. I doubt he got home and then decided to go back out and cheat.

I'll agree, maybe a little bit of paranoia going on for you...

Just my two bits. Don't worry, sweetness.

xxIndia

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A female reader, chachacha United Kingdom +, writes (14 March 2007):

I am a firm believer in talking to your partner about your concerns, rather than keeping them to yourself.

Is this the only example of something which is making you worried? Or do you have other examples?

Why don't you say to your partner something like "you were obviously home when you called me at 10.30 and I'm sorry I called you back so late - but it's unlike you to sleep through a call, and unlike you not to call me back once you've seen I called. What's up? Are you more tired than normal? Is something bothering you? Am I calling you too often? I'd like to understand how you're feeling."

Say all of this with the real desire to UNDERSTAND - not to criticise him for not calling back, and not to accuse him of doing something that you are worrying he might have done.

And then see what he says. You'll feel much better sharing your concerns with him, and instead of trying to guess the answer, you'll get either a real answer, or at least the best answer he can give, depending upon his ability to know how he feels (not everyone is good at noticing how they actually feel).

I'm sure it'll be fine.

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