A
female
age
51-59,
*otus68
writes:I have been dating this guy for 5 months now and it has been pretty tumultuous but I care for him and he says that he loves me. Does he mean it? That, I don't know. The one thing that is bothering me is that he has single as his status on Facebook, which I find pretty lame considering that he's 39, not a teenager anymore. Does this mean that I should move on because he's taking our "relationship" seriously? We spend a lot of time together so I am a bit surprised by that. Or is he hiding something????
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female
reader, highheeledfeminist +, writes (22 September 2012):
 Aww girl hang in there :) I'm quite sure you did the right thing for you. all the best
A
female
reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (21 September 2012):
 Congratulations! You made a good choice. Now you can meet someone more committed and open to talking.
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female
reader, lotus68 +, writes (20 September 2012):
lotus68 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have broken up with him. It's very hard but I know it's the right thing for me for many reasons. Thank you all for your help!
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2012): what i think is "pretty lame" is how people keep basing their relationships on what fb has to say . I dont think its as much fb as it is an underlining prob with insecurities. My fb to this day has always said i was single . Why ? Bc i never remembered to change it or bothered for that matter . I get on there to say hi to fam and friends maybe put some pics up and be done . I dont spend all waking moments on fb. I think there is anouther issue going on and if you two cant talk it out then its time to let go . You cant base your relationship on what you see on a social network .
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female
reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (18 September 2012):
Then a Facebook status is the last of your worries... You are scared to even speak to him about this, that's not a healthy relationship. And you have a gut feeling he is cheating, also isn't a healthy relationship. It isn't pressurizing to bring up and ask him why his status is single, but you are scared to do that. This relationship can't last. You should leave.
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female
reader, highheeledfeminist +, writes (18 September 2012):
Hey darling, I don't think the facebook thing is something to worry about. My last boyfriend never changed his status (and we were really good for a good six months) because he didn't want all his friends-of-friends and friends-of-friends-of-friends interrogating him about it--actually, his closest friends didn't even know I existed until about a month after we started seriously dating. Guys sometimes tend to be a little more private about this kind of thing.However, I feel like there is a general trust and communication issue here that the two of you need to address. You don't really trust him and don't feel that you can talk to him easily; he seems to have commitment issues--this doesn't sound like a recipe for a healthy relationship unless you two have a serious heart to heart and figure out what's going on, what you both want from a relationship, etc.Best of luck!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2012): Take what he he says to you in person over what his facebook says. If he treats you well and doesn't hide you from his family or close friends, then it's probably nothing. A lot of people forget to change their statuses, or just don't want the attention that goes along with changing it. Remember, every time you make an update on your profile, it lets you entire friend list know through their news-feed. Some people are not comfortable with sharing their personal lives online. There's nothing wrong with that. If you're that concerned, just calmly ask him why he hasn't changed it.
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female
reader, lotus68 +, writes (17 September 2012):
lotus68 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI haven't asked him because he can be very difficult to talk to sometimes. And I don't believe in pressurizing a guy to do anything, it should come from him.
My gut feeling is that something is up, I just don;t have a clue what.
Because we met on a dating site and when he was still on there when we were dating, I am cautious. I finally brought it up and he did delete his profile.
I am afraid that he might be very scared of commitment as he has never lived with a girl at 39. To me, that's a bit strange. Sometimes, I wish I did not care for him that much.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (17 September 2012):
 words are cheap..
other than facebook does he show you he loves you?
have you asked him?
my fiance won't even have a facebook page because he does not want the drama...
if it bothers you tell him...
but you say:
"it's been pretty tumultuous" so are you happy with that?
would you be willing to live with that? (I ask because I know I made the choice to do so and for some of us it's a valid choice)
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A
female
reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (17 September 2012):
Have you asked him why it is still set to single? A lot of people don't pay much attention to their status. When I was first in my relationship I had to tell him to set it because he never cared what it was set to. Some people don't find it to be a big deal. I'd mention it. If he still won't change it then something is probably up. In another note I do find it a little funny that you say "he isn't a teenager anymore" yet you are very worried about his relationship status on a social site, which is very teenage behavior. Not to be insulting, just funny :)
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