A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Im having relationship problems with my bf due to his ex causing so many problems with us. He left his wife in March and they have an 18month old daughter. She blames me for their marriage and says that he cant see his daughter if im around. we were renting somewhere together and i have moved back to my parents as it was causing me alot of upset and i didnt think it was right for anyone me being there upset. I just want to know what rights she has about her telling my bf if i can have anything to do with their daughter or not. They are currently going through a divorce and this should be granted early November. Any advice is very much appreciated.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2010): Did you mean he can't have anything to do with his daughter whilst he's dating you??? Or can't have anything to do with his daughter if you are coming too e.g. can't take daughter to park if you are going to go to park with them etc??? The first statement - no she can't stop him from seeing his daughter regardless of who he is dating. The second statement however has more justification because you are (please be offended) just the girlfirend therefore you can understand her not wanting her child to be around someone who may not be there for the long haul. Plus, she may not know you overly well, her child is super young and the separation is no doubt still very rare and fresh and painful. He has a right to see his daughter however she has a right not to want you around her daughter. I would say let her have her way if this is the case because i assume your bf wants to see his daughter whether with you or not therefore its the parent/child bonding he should be focused on and not who is accompanying him whilst he has access. If you let her chill and get her wishes with regards to HER daughter then you'll help make the situation easier potentially and also she may in time come to trust him enough to let him have his daughter around you. Personally i wouldn't want my child around the new woman too - its not your fault or her fault - its called being a protective parent looking out for your offspring. And so what if she is doing it only because she is hurt - you can't exspect her to love the other woman (whether that was you or not) over night ... its gonna take time. A whole lot of time. Just enjoy your alone time with your boyfriend and let him enjoy his alone time with his kid - in time the two worlds may join up and it also means that both sets of relationship will be stronger because they had time to bond on their own.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (1 September 2010):
No, she doesn't. If you were a danger, then yes. But you're not, so she doesn't have the right to stop him seeing his child. He can take her back to court and get it sorted if he has to. A few too many parents seem to use their children as pawns in this world, and it's time for the other parent to kick ass. Your boyfriend needs to make sure he knows his rights as a parent to the letter and then he can force the issue. She can't stop him seeing his child.
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