A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I met my ex almost 4 years ago(we were friends at first ) Since back then I have randomly received emails(forwards) from him that were addressed to me and a ton of other girls. Back then ( in lust, naive and not thinking clearly and so very eager to make excuses for him) i though nothing of it.....i thought that they were either just innocent forwards or maybe he was trying to show me that he was popular with the girls,lol. my brother told me to be careful because it looked like i was " on rotation" but i didn't want to believe himwe broke up over a year and a half ago but have remained friends via phone and MSN because he said he didn't want to lose me as a friend and that he wanted us to be close friends. Recently i feel like we started getting close, almost re getting to know each other through our phone conversations. of course he tried to flirt and tempt me to be ok with a "close friendship where we indulge in our carnal needs as well" but i said no, i said i would be his friend without sex unless there was love between us first and i also asked him not to talk to me about other girls because that would hurt me.........seemed like he understood.This past weekend I've been thinking about him lots and even dreamed about him every night so this morning i IM'ed him good morning and after he replied i said that i would love to call him tonight if he was free.........no reply back but when i got home today i received an email from him( no subject and no content addressed to me and a bunch of other girls as well.What the heck does that mean? is it a mistake or is he trying to push me away by telling me that I'm not the only one in his life or what?Thank you soo much for reading this and for your advice!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (17 August 2010):
 'Recently i feel like we started getting close, almost re getting to know each other through our phone conversations. of course he tried to flirt and tempt me to be ok with a "close friendship where we indulge in our carnal needs as well"
He wants a friend with benefits NOT a relationship...you still have love feelings for him, he just sees you as someone he can try to come to for sex. He convieniently ignores you when it suits him, knowing you are dangling onto the hope that he will love you back...HE WONT.
Women over analyse, looking for the tiniest signs and nuances of love. Men are literal, 'if he isn't doing it, he doesn't want it!' If he loved you, nothing would stop him from making you know it.
The bulk e-mail tells you your nothing special (your on rotation, like your brother said)
Don't get mad, sad or even...just get over it and move on.
...and take it as gospel that having sex with him will NOT make him love you!!
Hugs
AE xx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2010): It sounds like you really need to move on. There are many men out there, just get out there and mingle :) You're going to miss out on a great love if you continue dwelling on this guy.
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A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (17 August 2010):
 Most people send bulk emails to everyone they have as friends, acquaintances, parents, teachers, or whoever else they list on their friends list. I don't think a bulk email is to rub anything in your face about his association with other girls. I see it as you being on this bulk list along with the others who received the email. If that bothers you and you don't want the forwards, ask him to remove you from his list that he sends the forwards to.
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