A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:While I was vistiting my boyfriend at college i decided to check his phone while he slept. I know it was wrong but i couldn't help myself. He had all his messages erased but i found in his pictures 2 pictures of a girl naked. when i confronted him about it he said it was ment to be a joke for his friend. i asked who it was and he wont tell me. he did tell me tho that he didnt ask for the pictures and that she was drunk or somthing and just sent them. he said she got his number because they have english together. idk this all seems so sketchy to me. i cant help but think hes lieing. am i right or should i give him the benefit of the doubt?
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks guys for all the advice. it totally helps
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (14 April 2010):
 So you looked at his phone out of revenge?
I personally dont like the sound how this relationship, he doesnt respect your privacy or trust you, he lies, and you dont trust him as a result. I think it was more okay for you to snoop now that I hear there was a good reason why, but the ultimate reasons for why you snooped are also reasons for you to leave this guy. He doesn't trust you, throws fits when you talk to other guys, lies to you... what else? Oh yeah, a possible cheat. Not to say that he is cheating, but I heard that the ones who cheat often get very anxious about their partner cheating on them as well, which it sounds like he might be.
And this causes there to be no trust in the relationship.
I hope you and your boyfriend can turn this around before it goes down the ugly green eyed road. Best of luck, but take this seriously, because if this goes on it can lead to no good.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionit was also pics she took of herself in the mirror with her phone. me and him had this problem b4 i told him if your in a relationship there should be no reason to hide your phone from me or constantly erase your messages. i dont do that to him and he thinks its ok to have "your secrets" in a relationship. but he knos everything about me. even my deepest darkest secret that even my best friend doesnt know about me. its just depressing that he feels that way and then expects me to forget about it after i confront him and he uses his excuses. he thinks i should just move on and pretend that never happend.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionok guys the reason i snooped is cause of past events. he knos i dont trust him and he knows that its his fault. hes lied in the past to me about some pretty big things and i eventually forgave him. but i just needed to make sure for myself that i did the right thing. plus i figured i had the right since he went on my profile online and looked at messages just cause they were from a guy. he threw a fit and i didnt even kno the guy that sent me the message. i just thought i had somewhat of a right to look
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2010): Im with the last couple people. Why shouldn't you be able to snoop? When you are a couple you don't hold back. You only feel the urge to snoop if there is a reason for suspision right? So why did you feel like there was something he was hiding? My phone doesnt put pics in my folder unless I put them there. Plus, how often do you erase ALL your messages? I never do. Even if she sent them to him, why would he keep them? A guy in a relationship would erase them right?
I know it's an odd question but; were the pics taken by someone else or did she do them in the mirror? If they were mirror pics then he is at least telling the truth that she sent them (even though he kept them), but if they look like someone else took them, and they were saved in his pictures, then he probably took them.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2010): I have personally never understood why people say you should never 'snoop' or look through your boyfriends or girlfriends things. Why shouldn't you? People do it so they can make sure their partner is NOT doing anything behind there back, fair enough if there wasn't nothing there but there WAS.. therefore, it was good of you to look, because you caught him out.
Peoples answer to that would most probably be 'because you should be able to trust them and everybody deserves some privacy' Well privacy, who needs privacy in a relationship? everything that goes on there life SHOULD be between the two of you (if you're in a solid relationship) and there should be no hiding. Plus, who can you trust nouradays anyway? the only person you can trust is yourself to be honest.
But yeah, you should be on to your boyfriend.. he is at uni afterall. You deserve better than that I'm sure.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2010): It might have been wrong to snoop, but if you didnt, you wouldnt have found out your boyfriend is cheating on you. Which he is, by the way. Why else would he have all his messages erased? Dump him, move on!
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female
reader, Isa123 +, writes (13 April 2010):
 Okay, as far as I know, when photos are sent, they are not automatically saved to the phone. It has to be done before hand.
Okay, what angle were the pictures in? Did the girls take them by themselves, or did it look like someone took it for them?
Secondly, does he text a lot? If he does and he has no messages, this could mean something very fishy. He could have known that he was going to be with you and deleted them. Or if he constantly deletes them then it's not such a huge problem...
If it was a prank, why are they still there? What kind of a prank would that be to his "friend"?
If I were you, I'd force the answer out of him. Or make him tell you. Sounds to me he's lying, or telling you a half truth.
Things like this personally piss me off to the max. You're caught, why not tell the truth instead of just covering it?!?!
Good luck to you sweetie!
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female
reader, YouWish +, writes (13 April 2010):
 Why were you checking his phone????? Is privacy dead? You're in a conundrum because this is a trust issue, and you broke his trust by snooping, and he broke yours by playing around with some other girl. I'm not sure if there's a future in this relationship.No more snooping! You are not married to the guy.
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female
reader, chigirl +, writes (13 April 2010):
Please stop snooping around like that, it is a horrible habit and your boyfriend might very well dump you because of it. So you should also worry if he will give YOU the benefit of the doubt and forgive you as well. As for his pictures, who knows why he had them. I heard in the states it is common for girls to send nudes of themselves to guys they flirt with, which I personally think is disgracing. She could have tried to flirt with him I guess? He shouldn't have kept the pictures, but guys are guys and I am guessing he is the same age as you, where sadly most aren't mature enough to understand action has consequence.I say let him off the hook for now. Stop the snooping. And watch his behaviour for signs of cheating.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2010): are you stupid? course he's cheatin. once a cheater. always a cheater. give him a box and send him on his way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
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