A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:so basically im seeing this guy and weve been together for a long time nowso i really like him alot and the only problem is that his parents dont want him dating outside of his race ( which is white)how do i deal with the fact that they will never accept me as someone who their son loves?like we really do love each other and its not fair that we cant make it work because of his parents.Is it worth it for me to keep going with our relationship? Or should i not continue it because of his family situation. He himself feels that it is so wrong and doesnt really know how to approach the problem. What should i tell him to help him through it? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2009): You can make this work. Ask your boyfriend things about his parents like what activities they like. Maybe you can find some common ground. If your boyfriend and you have the same religion maybe you could all go to church together. Will his parents spend anytime around you or do they try to act like you don't exist? If you see a future then go for it.
A
male
reader, NITRAM BLUE  +, writes (3 January 2009):
 So your bfs parents are racist. Member of the KKK Canadian Chapter, I bet. Its quite a problem you got there, miss. Now to answer your questions.
"Is it worth it for me to keep going with our relationship? Or should i not continue it because of his family situation."
If those folks aren't members of the KKK or the White Supremacy of North America, maybe they could change there mind about this white thing. However, if they are adamant about maintaining the family tree snow white, so it would look like Christmas everytime, then there is no other way but to discontinue the relationship and be friends instead. Any serious relationship would hopefully and usually end when the church bells starts ringing. It might be difficult for you to live a life with in-laws filled with bigotry. You might be mistreated like a runnaway slave or some asian mail to order bride. Hearing from them the N word or the A word now that would be debasing.
"He himself feels that it is so wrong and doesnt really know how to approach the problem. What should i tell him to help him through it?"
You say nothing at all. Let the man deal with the problem, if he is a man. It is his parents, not yours.
If his parents hate black people let them know that the United States President is a black man in the white house.
I have a dream...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2009): I am assuming that "he himself feels it is so wrong" you mean his parents feeling about the situation. It's hard to imagine such narrow minded people in the 21st Century! But I guess they are still out there.
Don't give up on this relationship due to his parents feelings. You will be letting biggotry win out by doing so. If you and your guy are happy together, the parents will eventually get over it. Let them see that their son is happy with you and if they don't, he needs to take a stand! I realize you are both very young, and there will probably be other relationships before either of you are ready to settle down. But if there has to be an ending to this relationship, let it be between the both of you...NOT HIS PARENTS...just on principle alone!
I wish you both luck with this! Stay Strong!
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