A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Exboyfriend came back from vacation and wanted to talk. I met him and conversation was light and I asked for my apartment key back he would not give. He asked if I worked Saturday and I said yes he said you get your key then. He went to kiss me goodbye as always but I have him my cheek to kiss and he have me a kiss on the other cheek for my daughter. Am I crazy or does it seem to you like he does not want it to be over? He broke up with me and it hurts to see him if I can't be with him. I want him back but I will not be his game.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWow! What a week. Let's see here found out a lot. The issue behind him leaving was his old girlfriend moved back to the states and to his house. She wants to get married and this is what he wants but not necessarily to her. She had to move with as she does not know many people and is looking for a job. He says he is torn and never has been in this position. On one hand he could stay with her and if has to go back to el salvador she can easily go with. On the other hand he says he has fallen in love with Me and knows el salvador is not an option for Me because I would not like it. I have never said this and am quite educated on the country and its problems. He does not plan on leaving the us but could eventually have to. He told Me of her but she does not know of Me. I told him this is not fair to her. I also told him I was going to date other people not because I want to but because I should, especially since he does not know what to do. I even made a date for next week and he knows I have. I told him I care for him a lot but I can't be the one who decides for him because he has to live with his decision. I told him I will be his friend until he knows what he wants. Since this conversation 7 days ago he has come to see Me every day. I don't call him, he calls. I don't ask to see him he does. Between work and his free time he has spent little time with her. He is home barely enough to sleep. He said they had problems in the past, does not feel the same when he kisses her and said she is angry he does not want to have sex with her. I am not dumb and he is honest and says they have had sex. Anyway when he told Me all of this he said he loved Me. He has come with roses and he doesn't buy gifts unless special occasion. He is fixing my car and paying for it. He is taking Me to dinner tomorrow. Yes I still kiss him and we still are having sex. I have very strong feelings for him and I believe in my heart what he says is true. He told Me yesterday that he thinks he no longer loves her just feels sorry for her. I am forcing myself to see others so I can protect myself. But I don't want to give an ultimatum. Should I? Should I let him go to be fair to her and let him work through this? He thought I did not want marriage because I said just want companionship. I said this to protect Me. I explained to him I just never want to settle for someone I don't truely love again he was upset and asked why I just didn't tell him this before. Meaning before he decided to break up with Me and let her move in. His friends and roommate know we are still together, because he is trying to talk through things with them and that is ok. Seems like the less pressure I put on him the more he comes towards Me. What do you think I should do in your opinion.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks Gina for your continued support while I work through this. Update: he texted and called Me each day when I was gone. Conversation was light about work. Got back had crisis at work so I had to go in for a bit. Did not look good threw on a cap and went. Next thing I know he was at my door sneaking kisses told him no more until he answered Me. Came back with a box of candy. Still no answer but was trying to work. Next day I was looking hot (not to sound conceided but hot for Me) the guys were all hitting on Me. He kept trying to get kisses but I refused said I needed answers. He brought Me lunch. I messed up and met him after work and we had crazy sex. I couldn't resist! Next day still sneaking kisses. I would be working and he would pop in n just kiss Me before I noticed him there. I left early to get my daughter and go home and before I got to my door he was there. We spent a couple hours talking and kisses. I told him that I didn't want to go on other dates but couldn't sit around waiting either. He showed back up around lunch and took Me and my daughter out we talked for 3 hours while she played another 2 outside my house he was starting to open up when she got sick. He left so I could tend to her. Said he would email Me what was going on. I got email stating he will see Me today at work and we can talk. I don't get what he wants. He is not scheduled for today going in for overtime because I am working. He had two other days he could have gone in if this was not the case. I still don't have an answers! I got asked on another date yesterday. Do I go? Not interested but I still have no verbal answer from the guy I want. His actions say he wants to be together but I don't know what to do with guy 2. Any advice
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe gave me my key back at work Saturday. He was very flirtatious. He left a note on my desk asking why I am so beautiful he made a point to ask me questions and pulled me in to kiss him at one point. I pulled away quickly because he still hasn't answered me as to what he wants he broke up with me. He kissed me 3 more times during the night and then asked to meet me after work we talked and I tried to get a response from him what he wanted. He dodged the question. He asked to take me and my daughter to lunch next Sunday and I agreed. But I think I messed up I texted him at work to call me he called in like 30 seconds I told him to check his email when he got home cause knew he was busy. I emailed him that I needed to know our status no games. I also told him that I had a date on Saturday before work. I didn't want to go but he keeps saying friends and I thought I should force myself to get out there again.I did not tell him the second part. He has not responded and I did this on Sunday. I called and he picked up and I think hung up. I then texted him to call me and he has not. What should I do? I am leaving to go out of town for work and I know I will not get him out of my head. Should I call again? Leave it and let him make the next move? Help I need advice..
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (3 January 2009):
 First of, have your locks changed. If the two of you start dating again he can get a new key.
Secondly, it's hard to guess from the little you wrote what he's thinking. How your relationship went and so forth. You really want to know you should talk, no guessing, no games.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2009): Communication!!!!! It's great to have a site like this to bring your problems and concerns to, but some times you just have to go to the source! Talk to him! Ask him what he is thinking. What he wants, and tell him you will not play games...either it's over or it's not!
It seems to me he misses you and regrets the break-up. If you love him then give him a chance by talking it over...and working together to resolve past issues.
Good Luck and Start Talking!
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