A
female
age
,
*prils
writes:I have a new question, what I do? My ex is still in love with me, but i am not with him, it only goes as far as him staring at me at holidays ect, for instance we were married 19 years then i divorced him he was hitting me and jealous all the time. Now 14 years later now i am married again of course with regular problems, but my ex husband's problem is his new wife of 12 years, she purposely ruins any holiday, we have kids together and grandchildren and there are a few times not a lot but this past thanksgiving was the worst in my life. My daughter invited me over way before the ex and his wife called and said they were going to stop by a few days before thanksgiving, I didn't care I am used to him staring, and his wife sitting off quiet AND RUDE GLARING At me aND IT'S NOT MY FAULT, well this thanks giving it hit me, when my daughter wanted to say the prayer around the table and the new wife my ex husband's wife refused to do this. now she is a church goer.It just ran straight thru me, the most ungrateful you know what I would say it but not on here, I could not eat my thanksgiving dinner i WAS SO UPSET, i can't believe my ex husband can't speak up to her, my daughter was stuck in the middle, I left early cried all the way home, thinking should I give up all birthdays and thanksgivings with my daughter and grandchilren to stop this, actaully I felt like nothing was said which made me feel like they want me to go not the new wife and step mother, it's been 14 years since our divorce, i feel something is going on between my ex and his wife or I strongly feel I am wanted out of the entire picture, I am being made to feel like the guilty one. i divorced my ex because he was abusive and beat on me and controlled me, is this control still????? I have a right to refuse to attend any family gathering with her there, any suugesstions, is it my right since they are my kids and grandchildren or should I drop out of all family functions since the new wife will ruin mine and everybody's time just because I am there, the only things, I am so mad I am not sure how my reaction will be the next time.
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female
reader, tjazzy  +, writes (1 December 2009):
In case i forget, you could ask your kids to instruct their dad not to bring her along next time. If they efuse, then you can stay away. Remember, your ex-husband and his wife are the offenders, not you.
A
female
reader, tjazzy +, writes (1 December 2009):
They are your kids not hers. Your husband is the offender not you, do not under any circumstances allow this woman to drive a wedge between you and your children. I can tell that you are a quite sensitive person who doesn't like to kick up a fuss. But I will advise that the next time your creepy husband starts to stare, or his wife starts to be disruptive, tell them you are having none of it. Or else, just ignore them. They both sound like losers anyway.
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