A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:basically my relationship is slowly falling apart, and i feel like there is nothing i can do to stop this. its been a few months since i knew the love is fading, its not that my love for him is fading, its the other way round, i feel his love for me is fading. i have to keep asking him if he still loves me, i shouldn't have to do that. weekends he sits downstairs and drinks with my family, stays up all night on drugs (speed) he only does drugs at the weekend, while im left in my room feeling so unhappy, crying with alot of thoughts running through my head and feeling alone wishing he would just take the time to be with me. when we are actually together he falls asleep. i dont know how much more i can take of this, im thinking of ending it but we have been together a long time and despite all this i still love him, i dont know why though. also im a really late on my period i always get it on time ,so this is making matters worse, he knows this but he aint exactly being there for me. he rarely touches me, i feel like we are just two strangers and its killing me inside because we use to be so happy and i dont understand what went wrong, i have been going over things in my head trying to figure out how to fix this, i feel like asking him if he has a problem with me, if he does then i will try my best to fix it, i just feel hopeless and worthless, do you have any advice on how i can make things right again?
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female
reader, Auntie E  +, writes (2 April 2010):
 Go to Planned Parenthood at once! See why your period is late and do something about it. Having a baby with this uncaring cad will only bring you a lifetime of heartache.
Why do you even care about this guy? By your own admission, he prefers drinking and drugging, rarely touches you and you are miserable. You say you don't understand what went wrong - YOU PICKED THE WRONG GUY. He already had these characteristics you just chose to ignore them in the beginning of the relationship - now he is showing his true colors. It this the man you really want? Why do you think so little of yourself that you think you deserve a jerk like this. You are wasting precious hours and lots of tears on a guy that doesn't give a fig about you. Understand?
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (2 April 2010):
 Yes it hurts when love is fading and your words convey a lot of pain- you still love him a lot. the problem ,though, is not that he stopped loving you- it's that YOU have stopped loving yourself. It's like you feel you don't deserve any better, But everybody deserves better than being ignored and left alone all the time, and coming last in a list of priorities which also include dangerous,self destructive habits like speed. Just on weekends ? Come on darling - speed is bad,any day of the week. And look, I am not passing moral judgements on anybody , I am just talking relationshipwise - it's not by chance that amphetamines are called "the selfish drugs ".
A guy who has a love story with speed has not, or is not gonna have eventually, any time,interest and energy for a love story with you.
You are wondering now what went wrong, what did you do wrong to make this happen. Probably absolutely nothing, but the question is irrelevant. Who cares why and how and when- now try to put together the courage to look after yourself and be your ouwn best friend- and run !
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionsweetie this dont sound like a healthy relationship
like you say you both are like two strangers together
dont feel worthless you have been atleast trying to make things right but is he? i doubt it.
about the missing your period thing he may just be just as worried as you and dont know what to do, go to a doctor or get a hpt so you can put your mind at rest.
you could talk to him tell him how low your feeling lately ask him how he feels about you, this could just be that your going through a rough patch every couple goes through them and who ever say they dont are lying. there are ways you can try to fix the relationship but thats only if hes willing to, you cant just do that by yourself you both have to work together to make it work.
about the drug thing- why are you with someone that is basically choosing drugs over you? do you want a life where you could be surrounded by drugs, in my opinion i would have a heart to heart with him and see where it goes from there, if he is not willing to change then he simply isn't worth it love. why should you be the one who has to pick up the broken pieces, when he loses you maybe he will realise just what a bad boyfriend he was, people tend to realise just what they have lost when its gone, at the end of the day its his fault by the sounds of it. you may love him but staying with him when he is like this is just causing you upset and unhappiness. hope this advice has helped, take care.
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