A
female
age
30-35,
*hemisses
writes:Okay so my boyfriends sister is coming home from living with friends. She butts in our relationship and is very needy of him. I don't like to share and feel like im competing. She also uses him and he accepts it because that's his younger sister. How do I tell him I don't want her in our house.. Like at all? She can talk to him over the phone or in her house but I want him to respect our house as my space to and keep her out. Help please... she might be here tomorrow. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, xoonedayxo +, writes (13 March 2010):
don't try to talk to him about it because his sister comes first if you guys where married then that's a different story but other than that the family will always come first if you feel like you unconformable around her then just move away or just go to your room and leave them to talk if she bothers you then tell her off
A
female
reader, themisses +, writes (9 March 2010):
themisses is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIm definately not jealous of her. He has 6 brothers and sisters its just she really urks me. Nobody else is this needy of him. Its like there's a point in life where you don't call ur older brother for every little thing. Even I don't call him for some of the things she does. I just feel like if I don't speak up now she will think its okay for the rest of their lives to be over.
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A
female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (9 March 2010):
I think you need to find a way to get along with her. She is his sister and she was there before you and will outlast you so there actually is no competition. If however, she is actually rude to you, then tell her off directly. Or just pack an overnight bag and tell your boyfriend you will be away for a few days. That should help him sort his life out. So if she is just coming to visit and she is nice then play along. But if she is nasty, just tell your guy you will see him later. The problem with telling your boyfriend to deal with her is that she will see it as you trying to destroy their family and she can turn your whole boyfriend's family against you once they hear that you told him to put her out. But if you leave, they remain together and your boyfriend makes his own decision about how he wants to deal with her and if he kicks her out without your influence then its not your problem. .
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A
female
reader, sunnycomet  +, writes (9 March 2010):
 I understand more....
I misunderstood you as being jealous. My apologizes.
Again talk to your boyfriend. Talk to your bf and explain you are uncomfortable with her and you feel like you have to compete to get some attention.
Do you mean his little sister wants to move in or visit?
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (9 March 2010):
 If you are very unhappy , you will have to speak up to your b/f or you will go insane or become a neurotic ...LOL!
You cannot have an obnoxious woman in the same house even if it is his sister.
For your peace of mind and sanity , I hope he knows what he needs to do about his sister.
If she is a nice girl, she would not go and squat at your place at all. You should not treat her with kid's glove or your life will become like hell.
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A
female
reader, themisses +, writes (9 March 2010):
themisses is verified as being by the original poster of the questionBtw.. Nobody in his family likes her because she's just not a nice girl. She causes drama for everyone and doesn't even have any friends of her own because of how she acts. Also she's older than me but younger than my bf. So its really annoying.. = /
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A
male
reader, Kenj  +, writes (9 March 2010):
 Your boyfriends sister may have been close to him well before you came along. It may not be personal on you.
You shouldnt try to change him for that, family are important as well as girlfriends. I go and see my sister usually once a week and my girlfriend is fine with that.
If his sister is coming over every single day then I agree its a bit excessive, and you could try pre-occuping your boyfriends time. Go out of the house more with him but give him time to see his sister too.
Spend time with his sister yourself, just you and her. Try taking her on girlie shopping days or make overs, spend some quality time with her too, even if you dont like to do it, try bonding with her you may feel different if you get to know her better.
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A
female
reader, LifeHurts1126 +, writes (9 March 2010):
I have family like that and its sooo annoying. Have you tried talking to him about it? Or is he being blind and just doesnt get it? I;ve had to learn to speak up for myself recently. you might just have to tell him, but i wouldn't be mean or anything that would just start a fight.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (9 March 2010):
Your b/f comes in a package and you cannot choose which parts you want or don't want.
A house cannot have two women living together with a man .Even if the other woman is his sister or mother.
You could tell your b/f that his sister can come for a short stay but not for any long term stay. Let him know your feelings, and he should know what to do about his little sister.
Three is a crowd.
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A
female
reader, sunnycomet +, writes (9 March 2010):
You sound very jealous of his little sister. Why do you feel like you need to compete? This IS his little sister. This is a family member (who is younger) that he loves. You need to accept that. He is always going to love and be there for his little sister. That is what big brothers are for.
If you don`t like her at least be civil towards her. And keep your thoughts to yourself about how you dislike her. That will only drive your boyfriend away from you. You can`t compete against her...you will lose.
Maybe you should try talking to your boyfriend. Tell him you feel ignored when she is there. Don`t tell him that you don`t like her.
Hope everything works out. As for her coming to the house, you can`t expect him to refuse his family member to come in his house. (Even though it is yours to.) Try to put yourself in his shoes. Leave the house while she is there if you can`t stand to be around her or suggest they go out. Otherwise put up with her.
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