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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I'm 18 and I'm having sex with a 40 year old man. We met on the Internet and met up in a hotel for the night, we stay in hotels most weekends and have for a while. its really amazing and we are both sexually attracted to each other and have amazing sex. We don't expect is to have a proper or non sexual relationship because of the age gap.Anyway, my question is should I be worried that he suggests father daughter sex role play, he says he doesn't see how it's any differeent to the teacher daughter role play we normally do. Help I'm a little freaked out.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI agreed to do the role play if I could modify it to daughters friend, it was alright... I'm still now a little bit wary off him because of his previous suggestion. I'm quite sure things will go down from here for us now
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female
reader, xXferalxallureXx  +, writes (17 June 2010):
 First, I wanna say that reading about the complexity of your question from fellow posters was enjoyable, and the submission domination was pretty interesting
Anywho, roleplay and sex can represent a lot of different things no one understands. No matter how complexly they are broken down, there will always be a why to be answered. His suggestion could reveal deeper this and that, but it also could simply be just a fantasy that he gets off on for a simple reason. Maybe he likes the control? Maybe it's something so new and exciting? Maybe he just thought of it randomely and wants to do it? Who knows but him and maybe he doesnt even know?
some things in life are just simple...
And I do kinda agree with the anonymous female about the forbidden sensation. A father and daughter having relations is a highly frowned upon thing, a border that should never be crossed, but human nature temps us to overstep boundaries like this. Obviously in real life he would never ever do this, so being able to act it out gives the sense of overstepping that boundary, resulting in a mental, emotional, (perhaps physical) stimulation of epic proportions.
Regardless of the reason, for now it is just a roleplay idea. If you feel too uncomfortable, then don't do it. But who knows, maybe you'll enjoy it?
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2010): I agree with LuvLeSteph about the hotel boucing and scandolous romance with the older man.
It's not so much a problem that the guy is older, I mean a lot of women like older men. It's actually becoming more common, but the whole daughter father thing is really bizarre. But I think since you two are into role playing, it's perhaps the forboding act of a father sleeping with his daughter that makes it so kinky to him. What I mean is, humans naturally are excited by things that are dangerous and restricted. A father sleeping with his daughter is socially and morally forbidden. It's this euphoria of igoring this restriction that is probably why he suggest it.
Now, it's a very extreme suggestion of a sexual scenario and you have a right to be uncomfortable. (who wouldn't?) Perhaps you can suggest something more appropriate like a you being the wife of his best friend or something.
And think, if you go through with this scenario, whats next? sex between a mother and her son? brother and sister? beastiality?
There are just somethings better left alone.
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reader, Kama  +, writes (17 June 2010):
 It certainly is more complex than that. I hope I did an OK job of explaining what I consider to be the complexity. :)
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reader, Kama +, writes (16 June 2010):
West,
just a couple of respectful thoughts in response to yours:
blowjobs feel completely different than vaginal intercourse. So there is a purpose outside of being dominant: to be pleasured in a new way.
Your views are also basic in a sense. You suggest that all sex is a power play. It can be, certainly, but that is not its essence. I am suggesting that people are not aware of how they have to run from themselves in order to get off. It think this is telling, and I think it is a way of safely avoiding the essence of sex where each person is vulnerable, naked, reaching out for a connection physically and mentally. Putting on a doctor's outfit and pretending you're on TV isn't my idea of being honest with your partner, but to each his/her own.
You also suggest that the natural roles of men and women are positive things. If we accept that these roles exist, that does not mean we have to accept that they are positive things. The same natural roles you speak of lead to abusive, stupid behavior we are all familiar with. Many men never open up their feelings to women. Many women, while seeking protection in their man, are taken advantage of. Sometimes couples are happy in the primitive scenario you describe, and it certainly does inform part of our lives, behaviors, and desires, but it is a very OLD scenario, and it is only partially responsible for who we are - along with nature, there is also nurture.
So, I am claiming that it BOTH nature and nurture that have put this girl in this awful situation with a man who wants to role play daughter/dad. It is not primitive instinct that drives this man to want to hump her while imagining she is his daughter. Rather, it is a somewhat sick culture that largely accepts the idea that in order to "get off" during the act of sex, you have to be someone else, and not only be someone else, but imagine that other person in a highly taboo scenario. This is not nature. This is learned behavior influenced by a culture that flaunts its sexual know how but that truly has its head up its ass.
Let's return to your ideas about nature, submissive behavior, etc. Look this up: incest is one of the ONLY (along with murder) globally, cross-culturally held social taboos in the world. Everywhere from Congo to Cleveland folks value not humping their blood relatives, and it has been that way for thousands of years, and that is nature; that is the human being looking at deformed children, looking at reproductive patterns and observing, though nature, that incest is universally wrong. THat's primitive make up. Now, I would be interested in hearing how this ancient taboo, once it is translated into the bedroom and is initiated as an imagined scenario between an 18 year old girl and a 40 year old man, is a natural, primitive act. I believe it is neurotic behavior inspired by the inability to find sexual satisfaction in one's regular persona. Why do people do it then? I think the taboo masks the act itself. I think the roles cover up the reality of what is really happening; and that is precisely what people are afraid, and encouraged by our culture not to deal with. I'm just one person, but if I found out that my girlfriend or wife had done shit like this, I would be crushed. She will most certainly regret it, or someone will do it for her. Keep your wits and your heart about you OP.
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reader, Kama +, writes (15 June 2010):
Everyone's got something to say, and all for various reasons. This is really a loaded topic. I'll tell you what I think. There is a lot of posturing and knowitallness on this site. There are a lot of lonely people feeling like they matter on this site. I'm one. But what these folks don't do is really analyze the act of sex. To suggest that one fetish is just as normal as the next is absurd. Candle wax is not public sex is not role playing teacher student. Role playing is itself a tremendously scary thing, if you ask me. Why do people need to "be someone else" in order to share the most intimate moments they are capable of? What does a person give up when they "are" this other person?I believe that role playing fetishes are popular and practiced because people cannot be comfortable as themselves in intimate, naked, sex situations. It's easier to pretend you're some stock character to get your rocks off -- so then let's look at this - what is going on in this person's head? Is it you that they enjoy, their movies in which they are placing you (role play), or both somehow? Regardless I think intimacy is robbed from the sex act when two people decide that they are "someone else." Nonetheless, I'm sure people have fun doing this, whatever - not my bag, but girl:You are humping a man who wants to pretend that you are his daughter. What does this tell you? For the love of God, follow your gut.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2010): Whatever floats your boat. If you don't like the idea just tell him that it doesn't interest you.
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reader, Myrrh  +, writes (14 June 2010):
 Hello. Im just thinking if a guy was too old or young for me to have a proper relationship with, i wouldnt be having sex with him either. As you met this guy on the internet and ONLY go to hotels, do you know anything factual about his background? He sounds a tad odd to me and quite frankly, if my young daughter was being met at hotels by a man old enough to be her father. And he wanted to pretend he WAS her father during sex with her, i would be after the shady cove with the yard broom! Most men of 40 dont date 18 year olds and even fewer would want to pretend it was their daughter during sex. You are right to be freaked out sweetheart. Theres something a bit "off" about this man. Take care and be safe!
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyeah, i know it's a bit weird that he's a lot older... he doesn't have any kids and he is divorced. i've left a previous boyfriend for the comment "whose your daddy" during sex because it freaked me out so much (i was 16) and i haven't seen my older man since he said that, not sure i want to. i don't think i could see him in the same way. i've always assumed that people who don't know us will think he probably is my dad but that didn't bother me, until now.
i get that it's totally different to the teacher student role play.
i'm not sure what to do.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2010): Sex with an older guy is always going to be better than some "20 year old get his rocks off" thing. I would not let the amazing sex keep you in this relationship.
I agree with the others. That type of role playing is way way way out of line. To me there is some kind of underlying fetish going on there that you should steer clear of. If you like amazing sex go find yourself another older guy without the creepy side.
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reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (14 June 2010):
 Yikes and yowser, at 18 just the thought of having sex with a 40 year old would have freaked me out let alone playing "Daddy" games. I hope you know what you are doing! I'd run for the hills.
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reader, TimmD +, writes (14 June 2010):
 I know you are of legal age, but it's just weird in general that a 40 year old man is okay with having sex with an 18 year old. Of course there is a physical attraction, but the level of maturity and life experience is something that keep normal men away. My point is, his fantasy may be more than just a fantasy, it may be a warning that he has some other issues going on in his life.
I recommend using extreme caution. Normal 40 men don't have relationships with 18 year old girls. I'm sorry, it is meant with no offense to you. This is just something you learn as you get older.
And for the record, his fantasy is a LOT different than a teacher/student fantasy. One is a fantasy that many people have had during their life, it is part of growing up (fantasizing about their teacher, etc) but the other is considered incest and is wrong. While I know you are not really his daughter, but for him to "get off" on pretending you are his daughter is unhealthy.
Again.... use caution.
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reader, Carrot2000 +, writes (14 June 2010):
 I'm open to most things sexually, but that would creep me out. Ick!
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reader, rivi +, writes (14 June 2010):
It does sound a bit gross to me.
You could tell him that what goes on in his head while you are doing it is fair enough but its not something you would get any pleasure from joining in with and so you are not going to:
I doubt if he will call off the hotel sex - he prob realizes he got lucky already.....
This is an NSA exchange of sexual pleasure excitement : provided it-s on an equal terms basis that-s fair enough.
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reader, LuvLeSteph +, writes (14 June 2010):
If you feel uncomfortable just say no, and im a bit worried you keep going to hotels is there a reason for this, is he married? Are you his sordid little secret?I really want you to be careful, its not the age gap that bothers me as i no someone who is with someone over double her age! Remember your only 18 still you dont want to be hidden away in hotels even if it does seem the big romance.The father/daughter foreplay is very sordid and grim and the fact you see this should speak volumes!! Please be very careful i am genuinely worried for you! keep me updated Steph xxx
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