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His family hates because I'm more important to him. Help!

Tagged as: Family, Long distance<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 July 2007) 1 Answers - (Newest, 1 July 2007)
A female United Kingdom, *tarisrocks writes:

ive just got off the phone to my LD bf and found out last night after our nightly call his family said some nasty things about me saying i got him wrapped round my finger and they hate how he puts me before them. they also hate the fact that i call him everyday (he asked me too as i get cheap calls) my bf is now being igorned by his family all coz he said its his life and he loves me and they cant stop him speaking to me

i meant to be going to his for a few days a week wednesday but i dont know if i can face his family any ideas

we cant afford to get our own place yet and everytime ive meet his family ive been nice to them i lent them dvds and pc games just to get into their good books

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A female reader, Carina South Africa +, writes (1 July 2007):

Carina agony auntWell, it sounds as though his family are being a bit unfair. I'm assuming they don't know you very well yet and therefore see you as a possible threat to your boyfriend. Try to remember that anything they say and feel is because they want to protect him, even if it's nasty towards you.

All you can do in this situation is continue to be yourself and have a thick skin until they realise that you're not a threat. Your boyfriend obviously loves you and that's the important thing for now. I would suggest that you go to stay with them and put what you've heard out of your mind. Continue to be pleasant and helpful and show that you have your boyfriend's best interests at heart. Families can often be very difficult at the beginning of relationships. In time they'll accept you and get to know you properly. Your boyfriend is being very supportive of you and that will help a great deal.

Having said all that, if you have already spent a lot of time with them and they are only now starting to be difficult, then you may have more of a problem. Ask yourself if you have done anything or acted in any way that would have made them think these things about you. Talk to your boyfriend about it and see if you can work out together a way to show them you're not the sort of person they think you are. It might be difficult but it's worth a try.

You are who you are and your boyfriend loves you that way. If all else fails and they're being unreasonable then all you can do is avoid them as much as you can and not let their comments get to you. If your relationship continues they will eventually have to accept you or else they will lose their son/brother. The best of luck.

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