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*onnie
writes: My boyfriend of one year is still real involved with his ghosts of his past. A wife and kids. They are divorced; she doesn't care about him. One of the kids isn't his, but still he will do whatever she asks him to do...help!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2005): The children in this case aren't the problem. The ex wife has a fiance, but would rather her ex do things for her.My boyfriend would rather help her put a floor in her house than put oil in my vehicle. I am very close to his kids. When he goes to their house he leaves me home( I've been there before) and this causes suspision, not jealousy.
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reader, Infiniterealism +, writes (15 May 2005):
Excuse me, but #1, his children were there first, they will take precedence in his life for the rest of their lives. He needs to continue to support his children and remain responsible. Many of the social problems young people find themselves contending with is due to having an absentee father. A father's role in his child's life is very important. These 'ghosts of his past' still exist, they will always be in his life. I suggest you try to be more understanding and less selfish, or you will find yourself alone. His children will sense your irritation with them and this will create more barriers to being able to exist peacefully. You are the adult here; try to remain supportive and understanding, he will love you for that. As far as saying that one of the children is not his biologically does not remove the spiritual connection he has with this child. There's more to being a father then donating sperm. As far as his ex wife asking for his assistance, she has a right to request this. Try to be understanding; this will create a bridge for all involved to work together, minus all this negativity. When you got into this relationship, you had to realize that he has children, so this should be expected. How would you feel if he left you with children? Wouldn't you want the opportunity to be able to have him continue being an integral part of their life? You stated that there were no feelings between him and his ex, so this should erase any feelings of jealousy.
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