A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone, I need some advice on my current relationship and what is the norm in regards to when enough is enough when your constantly arguing over his ex partner.I met this guy 1 year ago in June, he had been living seperated from his wife for 6 months. Prior to that he was still living with her but there were issues and she had cheated on him twice. They were together from 20yrs of age married at 23 and her first cheat was 2 years into their marriage. She had their 6 month old baby and was prepared to move out of their house so she could start a life with this other guy. The parents of her use to drink with this other guy at the pub and knew what was going on, thinking he had money they were ok with this. The other guy she was ron de vou ing at the pub with, well his parents found out she was married and so did he and they wanted nothing more to do with it all and that was the end of that. She moved back into the house, and they tried again.. she would still go out partying and so would he till all hours of the morning taking it in turns her on fri, he on sat..About 2 years goes by and he walks in on her in their house in the spa, in their bedroom.. well apparently she told him to get out! My partner then moved out to his other house and 8 months later we met. He persued me and I fell for him, at the start we were inseperable.. He always seemed to happy and we would sit in his room and talk for hours on end..we couldnt get enough time together.. we even bricklayed his front fence together. 5 months into our relationship his ex start find out we are seeing each other their son is now 4 years old and he has him 2 days per week, fri overnight and usally all day sunday.. we started doing things with him and his son but as time went on she was a psycho and was calling up to 41 times per day..morning and night, calling me a husband stealer. i dont know why but my partner seemed scared to tell her we were together..my car was some guy named James's and everytime she asked something he only replied none of your business.. she has stalked and harassed us. I asked him why doesnt he get a restraing order ect eventually he did but she would always break it and he wouldnt do anything about it.. because it went on for so long he sort of thinks its the norm for even still ie on sat she called 4 times, just to be a pain nothing important and today sunday 2 hours after he picked him up she seen his car and called again.. how are we supposed to have a life together if she keeps interfering? and he keeps letting her dominate him... she has been very nasty and sent death threats, attacked me with her son present and had her male riend threaten me also..when is enough enough i say? i was that angry last tues when he blamed me for not talking to his son, she rang at 8.00 and I spoke out in the background cos she put in court orders she isnt even obiding by, but the thing was, his son wasnt even there and he had the nerve to blame me..she was calling for no reason, so i sort of spat in his face.
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his ex, money, moved out, stalking Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi guys thanku all for your replies..Well the ex thing has died off, havent heard many phonecalls from the ex of his but who knows,ironically though she rang tonight saying her life was not worth living..oh probaly cos her sister is in a mental institution coming down off drugs and overdosing this is another call for her to cry out for attention. Nothing much has changed now except for me, I realise how much shit i have put up with, it was our 1 year anniversay and the night before it on a thurs he went to marriage counselling with his ex and said it was to do with some deal so she would let us get on with our lives. We have had so much shit and you would think he would make an effort to do something special, but we got over that anyway.. next was deciding where we are going to live as we have to move out of where we are. Ok my partner has a house that he rent outs ( his dad lives there also)now we didnt pay rent were we were as its his dads house and they have arrangements and mind you whilst we have been in this house he has paid more in the long run than me, although now we have to move out because of all the tension at the big brother house ( and thats exactly how it is-all mind games-no true friends although everyone claims to be)well he is sorta playing games and saying oh well maybe you should go to your friends place cos i dont want any trouble there, now shouldnt he be saying well to this one particular person she is my woman respect her...
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi guys thanku all for your replies..Well the ex thing has died off, havent heard many phonecalls from the ex of his but who knows,ironically though she rang tonight saying her life was not worth living..oh probaly cos her sister is in a mental institution coming down off drugs and overdosing this is another call for her to cry out for attention. Nothing much has changed now except for me, I realise how much shit i have put up with, it was our 1 year anniversay and the night before it on a thurs he went to marriage counselling with his ex and said it was to do with some deal so she would let us get on with our lives. We have had so much shit and you would think he would make an effort to do something special, but we got over that anyway.. next was deciding where we are going to live as we have to move out of where we are. Ok my partner has a house that he rent outs ( his dad lives there also)now we didnt pay rent were we were as its his dads house and they have arrangements and mind you whilst we have been in this house he has paid more in the long run than me, although now we have to move out because of all the tension at the big brother house ( and thats exactly how it is-all mind games-no true friends although everyone claims to be)well he is sorta playing games and saying oh well maybe you should go to your friends place cos i dont want any trouble there, now shouldnt he be saying well to this one particular person she is my woman respect her...
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2010): i would leave you dont have to live with that shit
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A
female
reader, ctds001  +, writes (21 June 2010):
Is this the best you can hope for yourself?
Your partner is in a crap situation and you can not make him change how he refuses to reacts to he's Ex.
He is not willing to follow through on the restraining order, so this is how he intends to spend the rest of he's life, being manipulated by he's Ex. Probably for the misplaced sense of keeping her calm for their kids sake.
Well you have to decide, can you live with this or not. By the way, these are all HE's issues/ problems. Maybe you need to call it quits for your own Happiness.
Keep us updated
Good luck x
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