A
female
age
36-40,
*acklyn
writes:iam having a bf who is my colleque, before we were just a friend and he was the 1st one who proposed me. after 1 month of proposal i answer him, we both were happy at 1st. but since his ex gf just moved into next door of his room,alots of problem arise.i know they both still talk to each other since my bf is akind of person who is so quite and can't avoid anyone. but when he talks to her nicely the girl is taking advantage on him. when i askd him whether he still have any feeling for her or not....but he said no. he just treat her as a friend and talk to her normally. it hurts me so much since he is not stopping talking to her, and his ex is such a shameless girl and really trying to break us. i really need a help,,,,,plz suggest whether to go on with him or leave him straight away. but since we both are working together its really difficult for both of us to break. even tough when i asked him whether he wants to end the realtion he answerd me he wants to continue......i need help guyzz.
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female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (15 August 2012):
Hello again. Pt.2. (Please read my previous answer first).
I realize that does kind of sound like an ultimatum, however, it's more that you want him to know you WILL NOT tolerate this situation and have no intention of doing so.
Even though he says he isn't interested in her anymore, that could change if she gets around him, in a weak moment.
So if it continues the way it is right now, it would be wise for you to suggest a break for a while, so he can decide what it is he wants to do - and who he wants.
At the moment, you don't have much certainty about this situation.
And certainty is what you really need now, if you are to continue being in a relationship with him.
A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix +, writes (15 August 2012):
Hi there. I guess if this was happening to me, I would probably be a bit worried also.
You really need to tell him that you are not at all happy about the fact his ex has conveniently moved in next door to him, and that you have real concerns she is trying earnestly to break you up and get back with him again.
And that seems to be a possibility, doesn't it?
It's not wise to give him an ultimatum - "Her of Me?" - however, he needs to be clear on the idea that if it continues this way, you will end it with him once and for all.
I realize that does kind of sound like an ultimatum, however, it's more that you want him to know you WIULL NOT
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A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (11 August 2012):
 Ask him to please distance himself from her. And to be more formal with her, out of respect for you.
No doubt she has moved in for the specific reason of wanting to be close to him and wanting to break the two of you up.
If he still cannot see that she is being manipulative and still allows her to access him and flirt with him, then perhaps he enjoys the attention.
He does say that he does not want to break up with you. So he does feel something for you.
But if he completely ignores your concerns on this matter and chooses to ignore how much his ex distresses you, and chooses to ignore your request to not talk to his ex so often, then yes perhaps he is not the man for you.
But at least give him a chance to address your concerns
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