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female
age
30-35,
*sk and you shall receive..(well,ill try my best)
writes: My boyfriend and i have been together for 2 years now; but his ex keeps popping into our lives every so often. Now usually i wouldn't hav a prob with this but the thing that ticks me off, is that she never pays attention to me wen I'm around!! she ignores me and constantly avoids eye-contact and only talks to him or friends of ours. I even tried adding her as a friend on a chatroom and she declined my friend request!!I fought with my bf over this bcos i don't feel comfortable with him being friends with someone who shows no respect for his present gf- me!and he agreed, and told her about it etc.But weirdly enough, she told him what a nice person i am and that she could never hate me, and that it is Me who avoids talking to her!and that she really hopes we can b friends...That was mid July since then she still msgs him/chats with him and never mentioned me again. I don't know wat to make of this... im soo frustrated with her! What should my next move be? should i confront her? Should i fight with my bf again about it? Or send her an angry email? I don't know!Worst part of it all.... she just broke up with her bf of 5 years cos she cheated on him!
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female
reader, Ask and you shall receive..(well,ill try my best) +, writes (6 August 2010):
Ask and you shall receive..(well,ill try my best) is verified as being by the original poster of the question I know i was wrong to let it out on him.i know it was childish i know of all this @Soul4Real.And i apologized to him when i wrote that last followup.
And i don't wanna sound proud or self righteous but don't i have a right to be defended by my bf since his ex is avoiding me at all costs, while still making herself completely available for him?
It might be old fashioned but shouldn't this be the part where the bf comes along and tells her to fuck off? since i have no way of trying to talk to her? She doesn't need to be my friend or nething closer but for Pete's sake she needs to respect me! especially if she keeps popping around him so much!and when my bf said he doesn't care what she does/says about me...indirectly it says he doesnt respect me.
Can anyone understand what i mean? please.
Cos i know i was in the wrong at first to get mad at him-cos he didn't do nething.
But I'm not completely wrong, am i?
A
female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (6 August 2010):
 U dont have to be friends with her to send her a message on facebook. All ur doing is giving her a warning. U need to stop taking this out on ur bf, its not his fault this girl is how she is. He cant control what she says or does, and sounds to me like he's fed up with the situation. She's a beeyotch and he cant apologize for her ways or how she treats u. Tell him ur sorry about overreacting u didnt mean to take it out on him... All ur doing is driving a wedge between u and him and that my dear is what she wants!! So my advice to u is send her that message on facebook, she'll get a lil mad but oh well u made ur point...and put this behind u and focus on ur relationship with ur bf. Otherwise he's going to dump u and she'll have a chance to get him back. And we dont want that!
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A
female
reader, Ask and you shall receive..(well,ill try my best) +, writes (6 August 2010):
Ask and you shall receive..(well,ill try my best) is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni tried adding her as a friend on facebook i was gonna approach her and talk things out but i found out she's abroad. But she still hasn't answered my friend request!!
But now the prob is that about 1 hour ago i had a huge fight with my bf, cos i found out from our mutual friend that she saw my request and prob just didn't care.And i spoke to my bf about this(in his defense, b4 my friend told me nethin,me n him were enjoying a nice afternoon together laughing cuddling) but wen i heard this i flipped!i took it out on him.
I was so furious at myself for trying to be nice to this stupid girl when really i should be yelling at her! but he said something that did not help my over reaction and it still ticks me off repeating it. He told me "i don't care if shes friends with you or if she's rude-so what? she's a bitch!" and i walked out of the house! he said "Go!i don't wanna talk to u when you're like this etc." and i was so upset that he had the nerve to turn it around and be mad at me!?
i understand i let it out on him and i would have apologized for that; but he just made it worse with saying he doesn't care. It means he doesn't care that someone is being rude to his gf-the person he supposedly loves!And now he doesn't wanna talk to me until I APOLOGIZE! :S
Is something fishy going on? or do i really need to apologize to him for over reacting?
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (4 August 2010):
True u cant ask ur bf to stop being friends with her, but u can tell him that their friendship especially with her being persistent and her being in the way is making u uncomfortable..Leave ur mutal friend out of it, that will make u look like ur making her choose sides. Dont talk to her in the chatroom, that will only resort in a petty fight. If u cant confront her in person, which is ur best bet bc then she'll know u mean business..send her a message on facebook saying Hey Ive been wanting to discuss an issue Im having with u..Thats fine your friends with (your bf's name) and any friend of his is a friend of mine..But ur too friendly with him, and he's my bf no longer yours..only ur friend and were going to keep it that way. U seem a lil jealous over me, and u need to take care of those issues before u try to have a friendship with (ur bf's name)...Thats a semi nice way of saying it, basically u dont want to act like it bothers u but u do have an eye on her, and if she oversteps the friend boundary then ur going to bust her...good luck
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A
female
reader, Ask and you shall receive..(well,ill try my best) +, writes (4 August 2010):
Ask and you shall receive..(well,ill try my best) is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni agree with all of you! and thank you all so much for giving me your advice! :) i appreciate it a lot!
The thing is, because i know he wants to keep some form of friendship with her and i dont blame him, for example 1 of my ex's is one of my close friends and also one of his best friends now!(even though the situation is completely in reverse he still throws it in my face)
I DO want to confront her about it, cos i believe she's fake and that she has no interest in friendship and just wants to tick me off! but i don't know what to say to her! how i should speak i'm much better in explaining myself in writing cos in person i stammer when i'm nervous.i tried adding her again on the chatroom yesterday- Again. she hasn't replied yet- we'll see...
Maybe i should ask one of our mutual friends to do some digging about her to help me out?
I'm so lost. i was never in this situation before.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (4 August 2010):
This is case of where you should not keep your enemy closer. This ex is fake and doesnt care about being your friend or even acknowledging your existence..all she cares about is getting back with your boyfriend. This is a reoccurring problem and your boyfriend isnt going to take care of it so u need to nip it in the bud..Confront her nicely about it, and tell her to back off.
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A
female
reader, Jesc +, writes (4 August 2010):
 Well, I give you props for putting up with it.
Now I would suggest trying to talk to them both.
First with him, Don't fight about it. Tell him of examples.
Even after the fact he talked to her and nothing has happened.
Then send her an email. Try to be nice and civil about it. Tell her you would like to be friends for she is talking to YOUR boyfriend. If that doesn't take sit them both down and try to talk to them together.
After all this if nothing changes. Then talk with your boyfriend in the fact it might turn into a fight. Let him know how unfair and wrong this is to you. At lest the girl can show you some what of Respect even if she does not want to be your friend. Respect. She should learn it.
Try these factors maybe things will change.
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