A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I just don't know how to feel? My BF and I have an on an off again relationship when we first started I wasn't ready to settle down, yet even though at that time he deserved it. He was so sweet and 100% everything I wanted in a man but I was much younger then and had no clue what I wanted. We lived together then and I never worried he was checking out other women or even watching porn for that matter I could get on one of his devices at any time and not find a thing that would cause any issues. Well like I said I wasn't ready we broke up I moved out we kind of stayed in touch and then one day it just hit me I loved him.Wanted to start a life with him we started talking and he'd buy me flowers we'd hook up things were great! Nope he had a girlfriend the whole which had huge breast buy will get back to that. Big fight he choose me but that's when the body image issues started first of all I felt bad for helping him cheat on the girl he was with. That really just made me feel guilty and low but then yes here it is her breast were huge! Mine not so much but I but that out of my head a few months later I was on his laptop and it was already logged into this site and he had a page he created with women with big boobs curvy bodies round big butts they were tall and blonde the whole page 100 pics or more of this type of women! I'm 5"1 strawberry blonde 110 lbs tiny tits and small little boney ass as you read I'm not at all like those women and it's been bothering me. We got into a fight and not really meaning to, said your boobs are fine. Fine just plain old fine! He hardly plays with my tits which are 32Bs very tiny. Then he tries to tell me it doesn't matter to him it's not a big deal but it is if I'm not what he prefers then why be with me? I don't like it when I catch him checking out girls with bigger tits it hurs me I feel so ashamed and even embarrassed by my body that I don't want him to touch them or even look at them it's sad and so hard to get over what do I do?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2015): have you ever found yourself more attracted to something once you were with a boyfriend like that? Maybe you thought you were a "tall dark and handsome" girl until you got with a blond guy. Then you start appreciating how cute blond guys can look too. get my drift? He got with a big-boobed curvy girl. Maybe he wanted that all along. Or maybe he just wanted to distance himself from anyone who reminded him of you after your painful breakup. Or maybe her shape wasn't her main selling point in his mind at all. But either way being with her probably primed him to appreciate that kind of body type more than he did before. Wouldn't you feel GOOD if you searched your BF's porn stash and it was full of women who looked just like you? Maybe that's how he wanted his new GF to feel. Maybe it was subconscious on his part. There are many ways to look at this.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (20 October 2015):
 Frankly I think you are focusing on the wrong things to be worried about.
Yes he may have a visual preference for large breasts, but obviously that 's not all that matters to him in a woman, in fact it does not matter at all, since he had large breasts available at his beck and call and choose to let go of those large breasts in favour of small breasted you. So you may not have big boobs but apparently you have got something that apppeals to him so much , that he is willing to forget about his preferences.
In fact, look at the glass as half full : if he is ,in theory, so fond of big breasts and big butts, but in practice, cheated on his ideal physical type to be with you, even if you did not " look the part " - well, you must have something that's really got a hold on him !
If I were in your shoes, i'd be much more bothered by the way you two came to be together ( by cheating on the big boobed girl ): I mean, he had a gf all the time, and you only caught on eventually .... that means he does not take his ommittments serously, that he won't have scruples ,if he wants to get something for himself, aboir how he got it... tat he is a very good, experienced liar....
Honestly THAT would make me unomfortable, not the sise of my breasrs compared to other women's.
Remember.. The way you get them is the way you lose them....
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A
female
reader, femmenoir  +, writes (20 October 2015):
 Hi again,
i would like to add that regardless of breast size, you should be proud of who you are and how you look.
Having larger breasts, as one previous reader wrote, doesn't always mean that as you age, they will droop or sag and besides, it matters not anyway.
There are literally millions of women who have larger breasts and their breasts are still fine, even as they age, because it depends not so much upon age, but upon the amount of fatty deposits within the breast tissue.
I also think that your concerns are certainly not unfounded and i never did, regardless of my previous msgs, however, what we must remember here, is that we cannot change what another person chooses to do, just as we cannot make them change their preferences, unless they themselves choose to.
We come into a persons life to add to it, to enhance their life, as well as ours, but not to change them.
If we fall in love with somebody and then we come to see, that they have traits that we don't particularly like, then the furthest we can go, if we wish to remain with our partner, is by talking to them face to face, about our overall feelings, regarding the specific matter/problem.
Having said all of this, if our partners are looking at other women, doing things we find hard to take, nor accept, well we must firstly realise and come to accept that they are doing it because they choose to do it, for whatever reason and if we cannot live with that acceptance, then we make a decision to either stay or leave.
You are certainly within your rights, to not sit comfortably with the things that your bf does, however, again, what can you actually do or say that will make him change completely to the way in which you'd like him to be.
Your ideal man.
The reality of life, is that there is no perfect specimen of a man, nor a woman, hence human error dictating all things.
Funnily enough, we women and i can say this, because i myself am one, can be quite selfish at times, because we dislike our men oggling at other women, we dislike our men checking other women out, in all facets, yet most of us do exactly the same thing with the opposite gender, yet we seem to get away with it, because we know that when we do it, we mean nothing of it.
We're just looking, we're just talking, however, we fail to remember that, if our men knew what we too, talked about and did, they too, may not sit comfortably with that thought.
We know, that when we women check out men, it doesn't mean that we don't place our partners first, because we do and we know this, yet when our male partner do the same thing, we find it hard to comprehend and often, we get jealous and upset.
Many women actually watch soft porn when alone and many women, when having a girly night out, often talk about many things male, so if we can put what we do into perspective, then we ought understand that men will be men and this is even more normal for them, as it is more than just being a guy thing, it is actually biological.
Most men will admire women, even secretly, yet they will never divulge this to a jealous partner, because they suspect that the outcome, may not be a positive one.
Many men will even find themsleves glancing or staring at an attractive woman who walks by and often they don't even realise that they're doing this.
I personally, have seen this happen many times.
We women need to try and understand the biology of a man, although i am not saying that it's ok for your partner to check every busty woman out, nor is it acceptable for women to be treated like sex objects, but unfrotunately, this is something that many men just do.
I do hope that this msg sheds a bit more light into male behaviour, but having said this, not every man behaves in the same way obviously, just as not every man is sleazy and easy.
There are literally millions of great men out there and if you're unhappy with your current partner, then perhaps you should re-assess the quality of your current relationship.
All the very best! :-)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2015): Personally I think telling you not to worry about this is somewhat patronising and insensitive . Of course you would feel compared . It's natural . If it were me I would sit him down and have a very frank and open discussion about this . If he wants the larger breasts then he owes it to himself and you to find a woman with them. I disagree that he has a right to keep looking at ofher naked women if he knows that hurts you Actually , yes , he has that right but you ALSO have the right to be with a man who finds your feelings more important than his desire toLook at large breasts!If , like I said , it's very important to him ( as in more important than your feelings) perhaps he is not the right man for you ?There are plenty of men who actually prefer women with smaller breasts. Believe me , I've been rejected by them ! If your man is not one of themI seriously suggest you consider finding a man who is rocked by the very assets you have. Not dreaming of other women's assets
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2015): Why do so many people feel the need to run down large beast by saying its a negative thing that they may sag to make a smaller breasted woman feel better. If we are telling women to accept themselves and that small break are just as beautiful as big breasts ( which they are! ) isn't it just hypocritical to say that large breast will somehow be worse because they Sag over time . This implies perky breast are somehow better than saggy breasts which is just as bad as saying bigger is better than smaller
As a larger breasted woman who comes here to encourage ALL women to feel good about themselves it always leaves me feeling horrible when I read these comments about how my breast will somehow be worse in the future
If posters can be sensitive to the fact that MANY women have body image issues !
Not just those with small breasts
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A
female
reader, femmenoir +, writes (17 October 2015):
Also, i would like to add, that you try doing this-
when you next hear these negative voices within your head, step back from them, tell yourself out loud,
"oh, there is that silly, negative and ridiculous voice again"
and here's the biggie- you "DISOWN" the voice.
Remember, it's an inner voice, part of your sub-conscious mind/thought process, but it is not really you, it is not reality!
You let go of it and you throw it out, as you would a bag of rubbish and once you do that, you don't allow it to re-enter your head space.
I love the analogy,
'if you threw out a bag of rubbish, you wouldn't bring it back into your home, so the same goes with your internal, negative thoughts'.
Now this is not a commonly known, nor used method, however, do give it a try today and i am sure, that with time, you'll start to reap some rewards.
All the best! :-)
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A
female
reader, femmenoir +, writes (17 October 2015):
Hi,
truthfully, you shouldn't allow this to take over your psyche.
You sound beautiful and yes, you are beautiful, because you are all 'woman'! It's that simple!
You sound adorable, you are obviosuly quite petite and you know what they say about petite women.
"Big things come in small packages".
I actually prefer smaller breasts anyway, because your breasts won't be as heavy, nor hurt as much, nor get too saggy as you age.
There is nothing wrong with the aging body anyway, regardless of what people say/think.
Actually, within indigenous cultures, the young revere and look up to the old.
They even have initiation rituals for them, yet in the West, we don't think about this.
Regardless of whether you're small breasted, or large breasted, should have nothing to do with how your bf treats you.
If he has chosen you over other women and if he loves you, then this is all that really matters.
If a man didn't want to be with you, for whatever reason, he would definitely not be with you.
You have serious concerns about your body image, however, this is more to do with your head space, not your bfs.
My husbands two ex wives, were both blue eyed, strawberry blonde and Nordic/ash blonde, very fair.
I am an olive skinned, brown eyed, brunette, yet my husband tells me regularly, if not daily, that i am very beautiful and he has never admired, nor loved anybody before me, to such a degree and guess what?!
I believe him, because he has no reason to lie to me and what right do i have to tell him otherwise?
The proof is in the pudding, as he chose to marry me, this time around.
Your bf has chosen you, so he obviously wishes to be with you and i am certain that he finds you beautiful, but if you continue to display tension, nervousness and insecurities within your relationship, this is what may cause a serious repercussion/rift for you both.
Most men do not like an insecure, negative, non-confident woman, so if you want to keep him, you will seriously have to start working on changing your negative mindset, into a more positive one.
The best way you can do this, if you're unable to do positive self-talk, would be to visit your local GP and ask for a referral to speak to a professional counsellor, just so you can work on your self-esteem issues and learn how to help yourself, if/when these negative feelings should arise.
As for your husband looking at busty women on the net, i wouldn't worry too much about that, so long as he isn't obssessed by it.
Him looking at these images, has nothing to do with him not being attracted to you, it's just something he has an interest in.
If you still wish to know why he looks at busty, curvaceous, tall, blonde women via the internet,
well, you will have to pluck up the courage and ask him, because only he can give you that answer.
Personally, i wouldn't ask, because this may create more issues and pressures for you both.
So long as he's not obssessed by it and he isn't fooling around with other women, you have absolutely nothing to worry about.
It's interesting to note, that most times, when we think negative thoughts about our partners, these are worries that we've created within our "own heads", it really has no direct corrolation to reality.
I wish you all the best and please let me know how you get on. :-)
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (16 October 2015):
 Big boobs are highly over-rated. Your description sounds just fine. don't have body anxiety.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2015): Another post about small boobs...sigh...
My husband doesn't t like big boobs, period. He also likes petite girls with small butts. Guest what for the past 25 years he lives with a woman with big boobs 36 DD and quite a butt.
I don't see advantages with big breast but only disadvantages. First, it's not good for my back. Second, they do sag. I can't find a proper bra to keep them in place. To buy dresses is a problem, they go through my hips but then get stuck in a breat area.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2015): i dont think it hit you that you loved him until you found out that his girlfriend had big tits and as you had already broken up with him to explore yourself a bit more you had discovered that he was like a cat who'd got the cream.However he had a former connection with you and as that was a connection he wanted with you he dropped miss tits.But did you think he only valued her for her breasts.For heavens sake their was a person in that body but as you saw a competitor you noted down her breast size as something to worry about.So basically you figured that he came home and said "Hello darling..hows those breasts today".. whats for tea " chicken breasts with sauce!" etcYou have made the mistake of thinking it was all about the breasts when in fact it was all about the boobs..your boobs because you dropped someone you later decided you loved.Please do yourself a favour and remember the other girl was looking for a mind body and soul connection ..or do you suppose she had heard a rumour about his dick size and wanted to check it out.I think it was quite possible that they were both on their lonesome onesome and decided that two is more company than none.Maybe it was just a temporary thing.Now he's checking out the next breast thing on the web ,yet again to see if she was so heartbroken by his cruel actions that she shunned all serious romance and joined the sex trade.Or maybe she had money worries and said it was going to be her lifestyle after him.Or maybe they were looking for different people and were just a bridging experience.Now you are picking up the tab by obsessing about your lack of breasts.Despite all youve put yourself through your demons are whispering in your ears that your breasts are just not up to scratch so you are back on a self destruct mission again.Later in life,if and when you get pregnant and become a mamma, your breasts will grow ,along with the rest of you,but if you want to make this relationship last then be happy with the body you have, because you opened pandoras box and now its time to close it and try to be happy to be together.Just whip that top off now and again, but try to keep the brain ticking and realise that your bloke wanted you, the complete package in his opinion and he probably keeps a few breast piccs on his laptop to keep you on your toes so to speak.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (16 October 2015):
 I am looking at this differently.
This is not really about little boobs versus big boobs.
This is about trust. You CHOSE to cheat with a guy who had a GF and he CHOSE to cheat on her with you. So my guess is that your brain is saying if he will cheat on a girl with me, the chance that he will cheat ON me is there. Big boobs, little boobs, whatever.
And here is the reality, yes. He COULD possibly cheat on you in the future. He is capable of cheating. SO ARE YOU.
BUT here is where logic should set in. He dated HER as a rebound from you. Because he was hurt you dumped him so unceremoniously. Whether she had big or small boobs is UTTERLY irrelevant. She was available and willing to BE with him when you weren't. He didn't DATE her for her chest. He dated her to feel loved and cared for.
He is WITH you (again) because you are the one for him, small boobs and all.
My husband "loves" redheads. I'm blond. His ex was a redhead but he is WITH me, he married ME, not her. Because one thing is having a preference about "body-parts" but the body parts preference is in reality VERY minor when it comes to the WHOLE package.
You say he hardly play with them, well maybe breasts isn't something he is really into during sex, even if you had HUGE boobs. OR he can sense that it makes you tense up during sex if he touches them.
As for him noticing big boobs when in public. Well, EVERYONE does. Men, women, kids, YOU. Because it's a feature that is hard to miss. Same as noticing a woman with hair down to the floor, a heavily tattooed person, someone stunning, or a dude in a tank-tip with "Popeye" arms, the girl with the blue hair etc.
Now if he is LEERING or OGLING at EVERY single female with big boobs, then to be frank, you BF is a bad mannered sleaze. But he is NOT looking to REPLACE you with a woman with bigger boobs, unless you make this such a big issue in your relationship that he might replace you with ANYONE.
Small boobs are great. In 20-30 years they won't droop. You can wear CUTE tight fitted tops, smaller boobs makes you look more "athletic". LEARN to dress the body you have, not the body you wish you had. Learn to LOVE the body you have, not hate it for NOT being what you think it should be.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2015): It would be so nice if women's bodies were not objectified like this and people didn't feel the need to run down one body type to make another feel better
All boobs are good . Healthy cancer free boobs are the best!
So look after them big or small . Perky small breasts are no better than larger sagging ones and ladies who are larger and may sag in 20-30 years are just as beautiful as your smaller breasfs . You don't need to buy into any bullcrap male porn supported attitudes about how breasts 'should ' look! And you shouldn't
If they feed your children and give you pleasure then you are truly blessed.
Fight your way free of the box that society tries to put women in . Don't be locked in it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2015): He chose you for a start so that shows he may prefer your smaller boobs anyway. Like the male reader said women with huge boobs will have sagging not so attractive boobs as they get older and you don't need to worry about that. You are only 110lbs so you don't have to worry about your weight either. I have big boobs and I seriously worry what they'll look like when I get older. I can't wear whatever I want. I'm not overweight and my stomach is quite flat but when I wear loose clothing the material hangs over them and I look much bigger than I really am. So you're lucky!Don't feel ashamed of yourself as so many women have a problem with their weight these days and would kill to be the size you are. I also read in a magazine before that the majority of porn stars are now a b cup. This guy surveyed 1000 porn stars and they kind of sound similar to you. Check this link out, don't worry it's not dirty or anything lol. In fact the woman on there is your height and nearly the same weight.http://jonmillward.com/blog/studies/deep-inside-a-study-of-10000-porn-stars/The days of huge boobed women being in fashion have gone now. Don't be ashamed of yourself. As for this page he created, I find him a bit odd doing that at his age anyway :/
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (16 October 2015):
 You write: "I feel so ashamed and even embarrassed by my body..."
I suggest that you STOP feeling ashamed of your body, and remind yourself just what a great lady you are.... ALL of you... NOT just your boobs...
Remember....20 - 30 years from now, those girls with the huge boobs are going to see them try to sag down to their knees... whilest your's - meanwhile - will still be perky, and you will be much HOTTER than they are (and will have saved a fortune for the brassieres that you didn't have to buy!!!!)
Good luck....
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A
male
reader, Garbo +, writes (16 October 2015):
 The fact that you have small boobs has already been factored into his decision to be with you. He has likely thought about that much earlier then you took a notice, so since his decision is to be with you, it, therefore, means that he has, in his mind, resolved your "small boobs" issue already. This likely means that your anxieties are not his, and that you are inflating an issue where probably there isn't one. Just because he is looking at a picture of large breasted women it does not follow that he will dump you for them or that you are unsatisfactory. Those are just photos and not a real thing so you should relax and focus on deepening what you two have in common instead of picking on faults about yourself.
Staring at porn pictures maybe a symptom of other things but probably not your small boobs. All of the porn pictures are deliberately selected for their exaggerated obliques - boobs, butt, all - in order to attract male eyes, however, if he spends too much time on those pictures he may have a detrimental porn habit which, again, has nothing to do with your boobs but his mind.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2015): Well, how much attention did he pay to your boobs the first time around?
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