A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i have no idea what to call this i am so confused and have been through alot u can say from my bf.the beginning was good he treated me very good up until he found out about my past. I had kept a dark secret from him. I was raped by his cousin before i started dating my bf since he found out about it everything went downhill he started cheating on me telling me its all my fault yet i believe him.Its been four years since all this happened and well im still with him and from time to time he brings my past up again sayin i broke his heart from the start and i should've told him in the first place but on my part its very hard to tell someone that you been raped. I'm still in the process of tellin him everything about it.I recently told him that his cousin scarred me from the inside and the outside literally on my body thers a scar anyway i just dont know what to do with this guy he makes me believe im the bad guy maybe i am i just need someone else' point of view on this
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2009): You haven't done anything wrong. His cousin has. If he is having trouble with this fact then it is his problem and you should not make it yours.
A
female
reader, Shannon Williams  +, writes (20 December 2009):
 I Think u shpuld get away from this family as soon as possible
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A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE  +, writes (20 December 2009):
 this guy comes from a family of jerks obviously. I guess he just cant handle it for some reason some guys cant handle things like this properly he shouldnt be lashing out agaisnt you this way how could getting raped possibly be your fault no matter what you did if you said no and the guy didnt stop its his fault not yours. ditch this guy hes never gonna get it hes a moron and you could probably make him get it but the thing is you shouldnt have to walk away from this guy and dont look back. hes a looser. think about it this way if you had a daughter with this guy and something happened to her hes probably gonna say it was her fault instead of ripping whoever did it apart.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (20 December 2009):
Of course you're not a bad person. Far from it. The problem is he couldn't handle it, and has treated you as badly as his cousin. You're not bad. This guy isn't worthy if you at all, if he won't listen, will cheat and blame it on you then he's not worthy of anyone. You've been raped by his cousin, he can't handle it and is taking it out on you. I would suggest to you that it sounds like there is a huge mess somewhere in his family, and that you'd be far better off without him. Never be abused this way by someone who is supposed to love you. He's hurting you. Get away from him and find someone else worthy of you.
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A
female
reader, bluelagoon +, writes (20 December 2009):
There is no way that your the 'bad guy', rape is an extremely difficult thing to talk about especially in the early stages of a relationship! some people dont ever talk about it and keep it bottled up which is not a good thing. I think you are very brave to have told him. Maybe your bf may still be in shock about it (im not sure) but your are in no way to be blamed for this! so don't blame yourslef and don't let him blame you! I really hope everything works out for you!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2009): OMG sweety its not ur fault i was raped by my step-dad when i was 8 and it lasted for 10 years and now i am scared for life emotionally, mentally, and physically. i told my husband and yea he's sad he couldn't b my first but he understands that i was lil and the past is the past and its not ur fault, guys think jus cuz we r girls they can take advantage of us. but he shouldn't b mad at u he should b mad at his cousin. and he can b put away for rape so that he can't do this to another girl.
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