A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my boyfriend for about eight months now. We haven't had a steady eight months, we have been on and off numerous times.Sometimes he can be the most loving boyfriend ever. Some days he will treat me good, and other days he won't.We constantly fight. He tells me I can't see my best guy friend and takes my cell phone and refuses to give it back when other guy texts me. He blows up whenever I mention another guy. His brother and I are good friends and he hates when we are having a good conversation with eachother.He also cheated on me recently, but I took him back after many promises that he would change his behavior and would never cheat on me again. Foolishly I believed it all and took him back with open arms.When he takes my cell phone, I try hard to get it back, but he is much stronger then me and uses force. He has never hit me before, but he won't give my cellphone back to me.He lies constantly about his where abouts, because he knows that I will be mad if he tells me the truth. He hates when I go out without him, and party with my friends. I can't go out with twenty questions about my where abouts.The sad part is I know this is all wrong but I feel trapped in this relationship. I know many are going to tell me to get out now - but it's not that easy.After we break up, we don't see eachother for a while and he really tries hard to get me back and he seems so sincere.Somebody please help me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2009): fist of all i just want to ask you if you put this guy into a position? i don't think any guy would turn like this unless he has a reason to. I'm not saying that is is right for him to act like this because it is wrong. taken the cell phone why does he take it? because I'm not controlling with my girlfriend but i ask to see her cell phone once in a while you know, to see whats up.and my girlfriend doesn't have a problem with it at all because you can say its a boyfriend girlfriend kind of thing. it would be different if your hiding something? so the question is, why don't you want him to see your phone? when you mention other guys what are you saying to him about them any guy would get mad if your talking about an ex or something like that. i would say leave but i know your really like him .. you guys have to talk it out and you have to tell him that you don't like his controlling ways. you guys both don't trust each other so its either you do something to get that trust or you say good by.
i know that he still loves you or else he wouldn't be running back there is just something that you are doing that is setting him off to act like this .. get him help!
A
female
reader, QuirkLady  +, writes (26 July 2009):
 The key phrase is "seems sincere". He is not. You have ample evidence that he's not and he will not change. If you're constantly fighting and dealing with drama now it will not get better with time.
The next time you break up and he tries to get you back, remember all the bad things about him. Remember how he cheated on you and gets jealous when you talk to any man. (His brother? Really?)
Please be strong for yourself and leave him alone.
Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2009): the answer is simple.leave or better still call the police on this controlling menace.personally i would send him into hospital but hey.
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A
female
reader, jaime90  +, writes (26 July 2009):
 Its not going to change unless he wants to, and by the way you keep running back he is going to know he can get away with it and you will be back. you need to stand up for yourself. he wont change if you ask him to, he wont change if others ask him, he can only change if he truly wants to so maybe you breaking up with him will be that thing that makes him change. Thats how my boyfriend did, and he was exactly the same! I broke it off, and not he is seeing a therapist, although he is not completely better, its a start
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A
male
reader, lonestarchalk1 +, writes (26 July 2009):
 you know, I've always hated the fact that between men and women it always seems to boil down to a control game, it just cannot seem to remain mutual and balanced for to long, it seems relationship after relationship always goes sour, trapped sucks honey, been there done that, got the t-shirt, stop kicking a dead horse it's dead, it's not coming back to life no matter how hard u may want it to, best of luck
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