A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Basically, my crush called me ugly indirectly a few days back. He did indeed mention that he was joking, however, this is not the first time something like this has happened. It really crushed my self esteem, especially since they were talking about other girls(including mr). However, he only singled me out as an ugly one. Tbh, I do not find myself ugly, just average at most. Definitely not as hideous as he thinks. But this has definitely lowered my self esteem sigh. As such, I accosted him via text, and it broke out into a heated argument whereby I claimed that he disliked me as I honestly felt it at that point of time. For some unknown reason, he got really mad when I said such and thus replied with an abrupt, "I'm keeping my mouth shut from now on." Since then , we haven't been talking. I'm at a loss as to what to do, honestly speaking. Am I supposed to go up to him and apologize for being "ugly"? Sigh. Please do respond, and I thank you in advance for your time :).
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female
reader, citadel  +, writes (13 November 2012):
2 RED FLAGSHe verbally abused you, name calling, bullying etc. look it up.Then when you stand up for yourself, he gets mad and shuts down. This is the definition of manipulative control.It may get worse, you'll have to either drop him or keep standing up for yourself and see how he proceeds, either he treats you with respect or he becomes more abusive. Also look at his background as well as your own.If you have ANY victim mentality you'll seek out an abuser.If he has an abusive background he'll seek out someone to abuse. Opposites can attract for all the wrong reasons.And they don't even recognize the monsters they create.Careful, think, proceed with caution and book loads of knowledge.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHello I am the original poster of this question :)
Thanks so much for all the nice remarks and critique yes, iwill definitely try my best to move on from now onwards :) god bless the lot of you, and may we all be happy.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2012): What one guy finds ugly, another might find her to be the most beautiful woman he's ever seen. It's all a matter of opinion. Just because one guy said you're ugly doesn't make it so. It's unfortunate that it happened to be the one you like that said it, but it's not the end of the world. You should never base your self esteem on what another person says, that's not a healthy way of thinking.
I've been called both ugly and beautiful many times in my life. And yes, I've been called ugly before by guys I liked. I'd be lying if I said it didn't hurt. It's even okay to have yourself a good cry if you'd like, but then you have to move on. If you keep contacting him, it will only make him think even less of you. So there's really no point. And NEVER apologize to anyone for being who you are. If he doesn't like it, he has the option to look away. And if he makes anymore rude comments, tell him that.
Find a guy who thinks you're beautiful. I'm sure that won't be hard to do. As long as you look like you take care of your appearance without going overboard, there will be plenty of guys who will find you attractive, and he will be a quickly fading memory.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2012): I would not stay with someone who makes these kinds of comments even if "jokingly." Some things you do not joke about because they are very personal and as such is extremely rude to make those a subject of humor. if he thinks it's humorous to call you ugly, then he has a mean and cruel streak in him and you can bet that this type of 'humor' will happen again.
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A
female
reader, advisegiver6489  +, writes (12 November 2012):
 Seriously or joking I think its offensive to call someone ugly. Do not let your self esteem be lowered because of his stupidity.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2012): I don't think you need to apologize unless you were rude, like did you call him names? But I wouldn't be too much bothered just because he says you're ugly, I've been with guys I did not find drop dead gorgeous, but instead they had a je ne sais quoi that was really endearing, and I'm sure for some guys I won't be considered attractive, some guys can find fault even with a VS model, oh she's too thin, oh she has a horse face, learn not to give a .... because I'm sure a lot of other guys will see something special in you, that being said give the jerk the cold shoulder he'll realize what he's missed.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2012): How indirectly and to whom? He said he was joking then or later? You know how kids pick on girls they like in kindergarten. Maybe he was honestly kidding. You shouldn't have sent the text. Yes he hurt your feelings but what if it wasn't your crush. Would you be as mad if a stranger or friend had said it? I think your feelings for him clouded your judgement honey. Don't make a big deal about it. If you see him in person again I think you should be honest and tell him that what he said really hurt your feelings because you care about his opinion of you. If he doesn't offer up an acceptable excuse or apology then forget him. If he does accept it and forget it.I'm learning a new language and my crush is a native speaker. I was talking to someone who only speaks their language and I said the word for pepper when I was asked for salt and pepper and my crush laughed at me to death. I said the word for peppers like green peppers and not the one like salt and pepper. I felt so embarrassed and I have never made that mistake again. I feel shy to even speak that language in front of him now. It was such a silly thing but when someone you have a crush on laughs at you for any reason its hurtful. I know if it had been someone else saying it I would have probably laughed or at least not cared. Having a crush is hard especially on a friend. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, NuVu +, writes (12 November 2012):
He either treats you like a queen.... or kick him to the curb.Set the pattern for your life now while your young. If they don't treat you with respect... all the time. Say good bye, and never look back. It will shock you how much guys will want to be around you when you respect yourself to that level.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (12 November 2012):
 No you do NOT apologize for HIM calling YOU ugly, just because he thinks he can say whatever doesn't make it true!
You accept that you had a crush on a moron and then you just ignore him from now on. He ISN'T worth it.
No more texting, Facebook, phone-calls, NOTHING. Pretend he doesn't exist.
And honestly, guys who like to point out what girl they find "ugly" have issues.. They can only make themselves feel/look good by putting others down. What does that tell you about him? That he isn't a good person.
There will ALWAYS be girls prettier, smarter, taller - but there is only 1 YOU. Don't let anyone make you feel ugly, small or whatnot. Because it's not really about you. It's about making themselves feel better and honey, that is rather pathetic of them.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (12 November 2012):
 ANY GUY who would say to his G/F that she is "ugly"... is a flaming, flagrant, and worthless AS*HOLE....
So.... for you, the question is: What could you possibly want to do with an AS*HOLE as a boyfriend?????
I think I know the answer.... and SO DO YOU!!!
Good luck....
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