A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Lately, I have been wanting to come out. on my calendar I wrote "National Coming Out Day!" And I am starting to record the l word. I am 13. and 110% percent sure I am a lesbian. So, I am trying to come out. But, really messed up. I told my mom I was gay at 12. And then told her other wise. And, then bi. And she yelled at me. And then Recently I said Straight. PLEASE HELP ME.
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female
reader, Princess_Rae  +, writes (6 October 2010):
 Anonymous,
I am glad you liked the advise, and I hope you strongly consider talking to your mom. As I said before there will be plenty if time ti come out, just enjoy life. Hopefully you find a girl you like and begin dating her. But for now having your mom understand you interest in sex is important.
Love,
Princess Rae
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionPrincess Rae's answer was more what I was looking for. And to the others. FYI, I was taught what gay was at 6 years old.
And before that I saw my mom kissing her boyfriends. And, I didn't want to kiss boys like that. At all really. I didn't have the little Kindergarten crushes like the other girls. I had them on girls. So, FYI I have known I was "Different" since kindergarten.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (4 October 2010):
 You are not going to like my answer, but here it is.
You might be a lesbian, you might not. You might be bi, I hope not, better one or the other in my opinion, but that's just me.
You are at an age where your hormones are going crazy and playing havoc all over the place. I don't think you should be worrying about if you are gay or straight, you are only 13, that's wayyy too young to be sexually active anyway.
So rather than spin your mother out with your statements about sexuality, just keep them to yourself for a while, wait a few years, make friends of both genders, have fun of the non sexual variety, be silly, be serious, have crushes, do all that stuff and when you are a little bit older and actually find yourself in a situation where the chemistry is really popping you can decide one way or the other. Or not.
And just so you know where I am coming from, I have 3 neices who ARE gay, but not one of them felt the need to declare so until they were much older than you. All the rest are, as far as I know, straight! Either way, who cares, and whose business is it but their's.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2010): You are way too young to label yourself anything. Gay, straight, bi, omni... it's not what you should be thinking about at this juncture.
You will never know what your sexual preferences are until you finish puberty and your thoughts and desires are untainted by the heady haze of hormones.
I always find amusing when kids as young as you ask questions like this because there is no such thing as sexual preference for children. Sexual preference is what you develop over your teenage years.
Flynn 24
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A
female
reader, Princess_Rae +, writes (4 October 2010):
Anonymous,Your question caught my eye as both a lesbian but also as an older female. At 13 you seen too focused on the labels and coming out. I encourage you to think less about the labels and more about the people you like. There will be plenty of time to "come out" as it were. I personally did officially come out until I was 16, but then again i wanted to take a girl to proms. I hope you find that girl, if you truly are a lesbian, and then you can begin the process of coming out.As for your mom, she probably freaked not because of your orientation but because she was not expecting her daughter to be that focused on sex. I would recommend serious asking her about sex, and your interest in other girls. I am sure she would much rather prefer a candid dialogue with you about the topic then the "I'm a lesbian" talk from her 13 year old. I hope you continue to enjoy and explore life and the world around you, especially following your hearts desire. Love,Princess Rae
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