A
female
age
36-40,
*uso888
writes:My boyfriend is 18 and I'm 21. I've never been bothered by the age gap, we get along very well and were friends first. When we first started sleeping together I'd just come out of a 2 and a half year relationship, and knew he was a total player, always cheated on his ex gfs etc. and resolved not to become attatched. But he's very good at playing the game, told me he'd fallen in love with me and would wait until I felt the same way etc etc and of course being the silly mare I am, I fell for it. Also, because we get along so well the first few weeks of our relationship was perfect, I've never been so happy with a guy. When its god, its brilliant - he's attentive, we have a good time, we work well together, and the sex is amazing (if only all problems could be sorted out in bed)The problem is he's very moody, and when he's in a mood its very hard to pull him out of it. I'm an extremely confident person in general, but he finds ways of making me feel insecure. He's very clingy - never wants me to go anywhere or do anything without him - but recently a lot of the time I'm around he asks me to stay with him but then seems to not care that I'm there. I feel like he's not trying to play games with me, but he's almost emotionally unavailable; he's so pessimistic and I think he had an idea of who I was and is confused to find there's alot more to me than just being confident and not needing him. He hasn't said I love you in over a week, which is unusual because he used to say it every day (I have said it once in this time I think).My question is - do I stay with him and try to work out the kinks? we haven't been together long, he is young, and I'm crazy about him. On the other hand, his mood swings are draining me, and my confidence is waning. Should I end it now?Thanks to anyone who read this! I know it's long, I'm sorry...
View related questions:
confidence, ex girlfriend, his ex, I love you, insecure, player Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2010): As someone who has been married to one who has consistent wide mood swings, I would suggest you move on with your life and end the relationship, because if you think he's going to change: think again. If you stay with this man, you will end of wasting away your potential, your happiness, not to mention your freedom. I wish you all the best!
A
female
reader, muso888 +, writes (16 January 2010):
muso888 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for your honesty and advice everyone, you've given me a lot to think about! xx
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (16 January 2010):
You know where this heading don't you? Surely you can see all the signs. How many times before you do you think he started getting moody, then pulling away before leaving. He's no good for you, and deep down you know it. End it.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2010): Your letter is not that long, so dont worry about that. Its hard to say whether you should stay or not, but a good question to ask yourself is: are you happy? Does he bring something good into your life? And then you must follow your gut-feeling. Are your feelings for him real and sincere, or is he just great to hang out with, sex is good, but you don't really see a future with him?
Yes the mood swings can drain just about everyone. It is possible to live with, but you can't expect him to change. Im not saying he is entitled to be moody and bringing others down, but a change has to come from within the person themselves, and not from someone else wishing the change. That means he needs to change his ways on his own, and that is something that is out of your control. You however, can change how you deal with his moods. Are you able to tune him out when he tries to make you insecure? Are you able to ignore his moods and not let it drain you?
...............................
|
