A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm in love with my ex boyfriend..I never stopped thinking of him, even while being with another. I saw him for the first time since 2003. Exchanged #'s and boom the chemistry was hot and back all over like we were still together. I ended up meeting some where to eat and we ended up getting a room and having sex...its was all I was missing. Now he wants to be with me again...I just recently broke up with someone else but my ex his un-happily married. Is it fate and true love that has bought us back together or should I just not entertain the thought of us working again because the fact remains he is still married but un happy. What's a girl to do. I'm 37yrs and my ex is 34yrs. Not that that matters. I still do love him.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2011): He is married so all you can be is a mistress, is that what you want? I think the answer would be no. Tell him to come back when he's at least seperated. Then you'd love to pursue things. But the alternative spells heartache. As other posts say here - beware the 'unhappily married' man, sometimes it is just a line to get you into bed.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (13 February 2011):
 As unhappy as he maybe , you should not give him the time of the day until he is married- or at least until he shows you he means business by starting divorce proceedings.
These unhappily married guys have a way to get very comfy with their unhappiness, and to stay unhappily married...happily ever after.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2011): The fact that you are willing to accommodate the needs of a man who already has a wife, and maybe even kids, sends a very clear message to him that not only do you not value yourself, but that he doesn’t need to change anything when you’re willing to be with him anyway.Unless your guy is brutally honest (which would mean you’re suffering with a case of bad hearing) he's not going to say, "The reason I am with you is because I fancy you, I want to screw you, I want to talk about myself and have you on tap when it suits, and then skip on home to my wife. I like you but I don’t like you enough to sort my shit out and then come back when I’m done because I don’t like you that much"The purpose of telling you how "unhappy" he is is to lay the foundation for his excuses about the timing not being right and to ensure that you don’t ask too much of him or exert too much pressure. It normally just results in hassle free sex for him. You might think that the revolving door that you let him keep in your life is about his inability to resist you and you are just giving him the freedom to get his head straight and sort himself out for now, but in reality, you are the gift that keeps on giving.He says all of the right things, mentions timing, says his wife doesn’t screw him anymore, and tells you that he loves you, or that you are his soulmate. Then he skips home to his wife or girlfriend and forgets aboutyou.
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A
female
reader, N.A.Smith +, writes (13 February 2011):
Hey! If he's married leave him alone! Something is still holding him there with his wide and it's not right for you or him to make things worse. Especially since you know he is married. Plus he can be telling you one thing and his wife another. Yall broke up right? So something has to be wrong with him. You wouldn't want your husband sleeping or cheating especially not with his ex happy or un happy. Marriage is until death at least it's supposed to be! Think about that! Remember what goes around comes around!
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A
female
reader, PatientlyWaiting1 +, writes (13 February 2011):
I feel you should let him know you are interested but you will not pursue anything while he is still involved with her. That is important because if you become involved with him while he is still living with her etc. it will drive you crazy. He needs to move out then he can get to know you again but you will not do it while he is living with her. And of course eventually divorce. Let him know you will not hide your relationship either.
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