A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I lost my virginity to a guy i was dating nearly two years ago..he ended things quite soon after because he got back with his ex....so i never really got over him but carried on with things as normal.Completly out of the blue i got an email from him in july..asking how i was ect and apologised for how he acted.We emailed and txted for a month when i eventually asked what he wanted from this....he sent back an email reveling that he had a girlfriend who at the time was 7 months pregant with his baby..but he said they had a rocky relationship and didnt think it would last long after she gave birth. We spoke on the phone for the first time 2 weeks ago and have called or txted each other everyday since.We meet up yesterday..and straight away all the feelings i had previously had came rushing back....We went back to his and after sitting around talking and messing around for a while lay on the bed to watch a film....we ended up kissing and more.I stoped at one point and said that i coudnt go any futher because of his girlfriend. He said that we had already crossed the mark, but we stopeded, he then said he needed to know that if he was going to leave his girlfriend he needed to know i could commit to a relationship....we then stoped and spoke and he said he felt really awkard and embrassed for almost begging....so we agreed to call it a day.We held hands in the car on the way home and kissed goodbye.I couldnt help later on feeling really guilty about the situation 1. Because he has a pregant girlfriend 2. Because i almost felt like i was leading him on.PLease help me i still have really strong feelings for him but dont know what to do?
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female
reader, BadAsh6705  +, writes (26 November 2007):
 I have been in a very similar situation once and I think you should leave this guy alone. If this is his first child, he is probably very confused and stressed out. Maybe you help him escape that for a minute, but it is very unlikely that he will ultimately decide to be with you.The guy I was with was my boyfriend for awhile and after we broke up he was dating another girl for awhile and they broke up because of a lot of fighting and problems. It seemed like he and I were working things out when he found out she was pregnant. I was devastated by this because I thought it was my chance to have him back. Even though he thought things wouldn't work out with him and the mother, he finally got back with her and now they are still together.He is probably just scared of the situation and in denial right now. Don't confuse him any more and don't get yourself involved in the situation. You also need to think about the girl who is now alone and pregnant and how much it would break her heart that the father of her child is busy off hooking up with other women while she is carrying his child.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2007): Ok, first of all, I just want to say that you shouldn't have done all those things with him in the first place. But I can partly understand why you did it. I once cheated because I had strong feelings for the boy I had an affair with. It lasted two days because I couldn't do it. I felt guilty because I had feeling for both of them so I told my proper bf. He was shocked but upset but we carried on. It ruined my life. We eventually split up.
Now back to you, I thikn you should keep away from him because at the first signs of danger, (pregnant gf) he runs and crawls back to someone else. He's not faithful and you know it. He would only do the same to you. Think about the other girl and her baby.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2007): I may not be the best person to answer this question as I am still bitter towards my boyfriend who left me when I was 7 months pregant to be with with the girl that I found out he had the affair with. However, I think that you should run a mile. This guy has too mmuch baggage of his own and if he is anything like my ex. He will be running back and fourth between you and the mother of his child. As a women I think it is important to see things from her persepective,. She is having his child and does not need this added stress. How could you even consider getting into a relationship with him when he is about to LEAVE his PREGNANT girlfriend. You are a women too and what if it happened to you. It just shows that he is capable of running away from heavy situations and is unable to commit himself. I feel as though he may well feel trapped and feel as though he is not ready to have a child and start a family. He may see you as a way out but he needs to stand up tall and face the reality of his situation. Somebody will definately get hurt and I feel that it will be every one of you in the triangle. You say you feel as though you were leading him on. I would love to talk to you to find out why you would do that! but I feel as though it could be bthe excitment of him leaving her for you. As for my ex boyfriend. Things did not work out with the girl and they spent 6 months together and have now gone there seperate ways although he used to flutter between the both of us until I put an end to it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2007): In my opinion you are setting yourself up for a huge let down. This guys is after one thing and one thing only; sex. he is not interested in having a relationship with you he is just telling you what you want to hear. Stop being so damn naive.
Why would you want to be with a man who treats the mother of his child that way? What do you think he is going to do to you?
Grow up!
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (29 October 2007):
 I know you have feelings for him, but if you don't mind I'd like to answer one of your questions. He wanted to know if you could commit to a relationship. Lets see, you're both making out knowing there is this other women who's carrying his baby, um NO. Neither one of you can. If he's that easy to get doing things with a girlfriend, trust me, it will be that easy if you were with him for him to get a bit of side action.
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