A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi,this sounds sooo stupid but its been really bugging me for so long.I've been with my boyfriend for almost 5 yrs and he really is the nicest person...i swear he is a saint! Nothing is never any trouble for him and he never has anything bad to say about anyone or anything-this is whats annoying me..he is to nice! I admit i have a short temper and say some really nasty things to him and he never gets angry back-he just laughs it off...this then frustrates me even more. For example a friend of mine had a baby a while ago (i dont like children nor do i want them)and it was pretty ugly..i know its awful to say but it was true...(i myself was an ugly child)when i mentioned this to my bf he said "dont be cruel,its not ugly"! Also if something happens at work which upsets me he never takes sides. He says dont worry,it will be ok! Aaarrrggghhh!!!I can appreciate he's not the bad guy here-i need to be a nicer person but it gets to the point where i just want to slap him because he's too nice!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2010): hey well i have the same sort of problem actually but well see i am 17 and ive been dating my boyfriend for like a year and a few month, and its not that his to nice to me i can deal with that but the problem that he seems a bit to obsessed with me. well yh his nice and i dont mind that about him but its like at first i thought it wasnt that bad but then he started going on about the day we going to get married and planning the day he will purpose to me. then he started talking bout our future kids and i was like wtf um im not ready for that and i dont want to talk bout that.so when it got a bit to much i told him to lay of the future planning and lay of the wedding and kids and us moving in together and just see what happens.for a couple of days it was cool he didnt mention it and all of a sudden he started talking about it again. and its gotten worst he now wants to see me everyday and if im lucky i get at least 1 or 2 days for myself and it just way to much and its not only pissing me off its annoying me like hell. like i used to like him so much and now i just cant stand him but see i dont like hurting people and i cant just tell im its over because he will ask why and ive tried before but it didnt really work coz he kept asking why and i wanted to make him feel like im a bad person and that im evil so i said because i was attracted to another guy but it didnt work and im still with him. now i have the option to move but i dont honestly want to but it would make my life so much easier so i could start up new but id love to get another option.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2009): I was in a relationship with a nasty emotionally abusive man for 8 long years. My byfriend of one year is so wonderful, kind, caring, considerate and sometimes infuriatingly nice lol. I would never change him and I am so grateful to have him in my life.
After years of being put down, emotionally abused and degraded his happy go lucky attitude and constant niceness was bewildering and yes at some times infuriating. After all the years of crap I changed from the nice person to a snappy cynical person constantly bitching about other people and being nasty.
What im trying to say is dont bring him down and destroy him. If you really cant love him then maybe just let him go. Maybe you should do as I have and take a leaf out of his book and get back in touch with your nice side. Since getting with my boyfriend I have stopped swearing, drinking and bitching and always no matter how annoying someone is try and think something positive about them.
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A
male
reader, Bwolf35  +, writes (17 August 2009):
This would be really funny if it wasnt such a commonality being spread by some women these days. A lot of women are poisoned by popular stereotypes of men just as much as some men are by the popular stereotypes of women. A lot of guys are looking for that perfect female form while an overwhelming amount of women are looking for that "Bad Boy" with a heart of gold. The problem with the search for these types is that they dont exist. There is no such thing as a perfect female form, sure porn stars and models may appear to be but I am willing to bet that if ya look beneath the surface you will find they arent. As for Bad Boys they are either bad or they arent. There is no middle of the road, either you get the man who will adore you and treat you like a queen or you will get the dog who will sponge off of you, spend your money, eat your food, run up your credit cards, drive other women around in your car, and generally treat you like trash. There are various levels of the bad boy. He might be an addict and or an abuser or just your garden variety criminal. Ultimately your irritation at your boyfriend being "Too Nice" is a result of immaturity, because if you ever had a real bad boy in your life you would be wise enough to cherish what you have and give back to your boyfriend all the love and devotion he gives to you. I can tell you this much for certain, if you dont start appreciating him its only a matter of time until some other woman comes into his life that will. The real funny part about that is the woman that might steal him from you is probably someone you already know, either a friend of yours or an acquaintance. Either way, start appreciating what you got now, or you wont have it for very much longer.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2009): Well, how glad am I to read such a 'problem'. I too have been with a really nice guy for 5 years - he adores me and is perfect in - almost - every way. I love him dearly and thats the problem - I love him as a brother. I know a lot of women would love to say such a thing, as I too was in a very destructive relationship prior to this.However, as nice and kind as someone is - if it doesn't feel right, then it probably isn't ! Its not a case of wanting drama and exitement - its about knowing you can spend the rest of your life with a person, if you feel you can't - be honest and say so. Not easy, I know - I worry I will never meet anyone who adores me so much - but is it fair to stay with someone you don't truly love ? He may be a nice man, but is he the one for you ? If not let him go - its the honest thing to do. Feel for you babes, its not easy xxxx
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A
female
reader, hannah76 +, writes (12 March 2009):
 Hello,
There isn't a day goes by when I don't think of my "nice guy" that I dumped nearly 15 years ago :(
He was everything i'd never had before so I got scared and kept trying to push him away. I'd never realised guys could be like this before and it was strange, odd, and weird. So, I couldn't believe he could be so much into me and therefore kept trying to hurt and push him away as I knew he would always be there for me.
One day he left--and I lost him for good.
I'm still crying now. Oh how I wish i could find a guy like that again. xxxx
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A
male
reader, SlackersACE1 +, writes (12 March 2009):
I can't believe this one. Next I'll see a post about a girl who likes a guy for who he is and it'll drive him insane. Sounds like he's just a good guy to the core. Admarible trait, im a bit envious of him. Its not like he doesn't get mad, he's human, he's just nice. Its wierd by todays standards, but he sounds right nice. Hold tight to him, there are plenty of ladies out there that would fight you to the death for him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2009): Wow, what i'd give to have a guy like this. I was emotionally abused by the last guy i went out with. I think that the issue is more with you than him, he is being the way that most women would love a guy to be. If its because you are maybe craving a bit of drama or something [don't take that as an insult, every girl wants a bit of drama in a relationship] maybe talk to him, and try to get him to be 'not so nice' in bed to maybe spice up the relationship. Compromise is something you need, so i'd talk to him and tell him how you feel. If he is as nice as you say he is, then he won't have a problem with it lol. Good Luck xxx
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A
female
reader, vwomen +, writes (12 March 2009):
 Why are you bothered because he is nice.you should be very happy you have a man that what to treat you like a queen.Do u know how many women that's looking for a good man that would love and respect them with his whole heart,girl you have a rare gem enjoy him. If you don't someone else will and that's a fact.
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A
male
reader, ArmyMedic +, writes (12 March 2009):
 Ha ha ha! I think this is something you just have to put up with. There is no sense in getting angry just because he is nice, or trying to egg him on!
I think you should look up some of the abused women's posts on here and realise how lucky you to have found a genuinely NICE guy.
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