A
female
age
30-35,
*opelesslavender
writes:I am sixteen years old, and I want to marry my boyfriend someday.I'm not sure why, and we are very young, but someday, I'd like to. I've been dating him a year, and he's been my best friend for three years. He is my best friend, and I am in love with him. It's like... I make sense to myself around him. He makes me feel happy and he is so sweet and I can't imagine being with anyone else.He says things that make me think he feels the same way about me too, and he's the only one I want, and the only one I've wanted since I've known him.Don't get me wrong, I want to wait until I'm out of high school to get married, but I want it to be him. Is that normal?
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female
reader, hopelesslavender +, writes (22 November 2010):
hopelesslavender is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you all so much for your answers! I am well aware that we both might change. its just a wish. and besides, we are both currently looking at colleges (both of us are NHS candidates and high honors students) and we are applying for a few of the same schools. We definitely want to go to college.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2010): Like the other posters, I agree to take things slowly. People do grow and change and in 5 years, you may find that he's not at all what you want. BUT I will say, that it can happen :) I am 30 years old, divorced with children, and am in the best long term relationship of my life-- with my high school crush. He is my best friend, and I can't imagine ever being with anyone else. But, we needed the 12 years that we were apart to grow into the people we are today-- if we had been together all that time, we would not be together today.
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A
female
reader, hopelesslavender +, writes (22 November 2010):
hopelesslavender is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you all so much for your answers! I am well aware that we both might change. its just a wish. and besides, we are both currently looking at colleges (both of us are NHS candidates and high honors students) and we are applying for a few of the same schools. We definitely want to go to college.
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A
female
reader, followtheblackrabbit  +, writes (22 November 2010):
 Very normal. And who knows it might happen! :p However, don't linger on that thought too much. It's great that you want to wait for marriage. Keep doing what you're doing-work hard, enjoy your youth and the love/romance with your boyfriend. Tomorrow takes care of itself, today is where you are.You're sixteen and in 5, 10, 15, years you will be a different person with different hopes, dreams, and responsibilities.
My first boyfriend and I met when I was 14. We really and truly thought we were it, he even asked my mother (at 17) if I could be his fiance...Looking back now, I have amazing memories. However, I saw him a while ago and we were so different, I was shocked! He too didn't know what to say and we ended up laughing at the situation, we'd mention something we wanted when we were dating and then elaborated on what changed. Religion had changed, college/work plans had changed, tastes had changed- Even the people we were currently dating were of different "types." Lucky we never married, I think we would have been miserable!
So really, all I can say is take little steps if that's a goal you both want to work for. Meaning, spend time together. Truly get to know each other and make note of your problem-solving and communication skills (need a lot of that in marriage), travel together, etc. IF it doesn't work out that way, well, c'est la vie. I'm not being mean, I simply have experience with present wishes not becoming the future sometimes :) In any case, enjoy this time and work hard for what's ahead. All the best!
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (22 November 2010):
 Sure it's normal. Just take your time and grow into adults first. We don't recommend that to be mean, it just helps you out a long way. Mature people make mature decisions, and immature decisions lead to much heartache. It's fine that you have decided already you want it to be him, then you and him can develop together and figure out exactly how you want your relationship to be, and what expectations you have, as well as knowing each other well.
Just wait until you get older to tie the knot and put a ring on your finger. You can get engaged however at any point you want, but wait with getting married until you know what you will end up with in life in general (work, living conditions, family etc). Not to mention it costs money to hold a wedding a buy a dress. And a house costs even more. You don't want to be married and living with your mother.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (21 November 2010):
 It is completely normal. It just means the love you feel is strong for him. If you can wait until you finish your studies, there is no reason why you two cannot get married. In fact, if your relationship lasts that long, that is even MORE reason to get married.
I do not mean to bring your hopes down at this point but people do come here for advice. I advise you to be careful with him. You are 16 and at that age, people are still growing and changing. He may or may not be the same person you know now later on in life. There are so many women and men out there who married their best friends from high school, only to find that their lovers had changed, so much so in fact, there was little left of the person they fell in love with. I am not trying to scare you, I am not trying to steal all hope away or taint your heartwarming dreams with unbearable nightmares, I am just trying to warn you so that IF (god forbid) he does change for the worst, your heart does not have to break so violently.
I hope that helps.
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