A
female
age
36-40,
*ivelaughlove23
writes:I don't have any children, but my boyfriend has a 5 year old daughter. He said he wants another kid soon. I'm 23, he's 24. I recently just graduated from college with a bachelor's degree and I'm currently looking for better employment (something to do with my major). He, on the other hand, has a job that pays $8/hr and works full time, no degree, no car, smokes weed, and wants another kid. He says, "My kid is almost 6 now and I'm about due for another kid. I'm not going to wait until I'm 30 to have another one." I told him I want to have a baby when I'm at least 25 yrs old. He seemed ok with it before, now all of a sudden he's getting upset about it! Basically, he's telling him that if I dont give him a kid soon, he will leave! Remind you..... he has not been with the kids mother since the child was born! What should I do? I kinda have an issue with having a baby out of wedlock (especially if i want a planned pregnancy). He keeps telling me that we dont have to be married to have a kid. I dont want a child out of wedlock because I've seen too many females raising their child on their own and I know it's hard! I know there's such thing as divorce, but marriage and then kids sounds so much better, because when fights occur it's not that easy to just up and leave! plus I think it sounds better to say "my wife, the mother of my children, rather than "thats my baby mama" PLEASE HELP!!!!!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (12 December 2010):
 You don't need to have a child, you already have got one : your boyfriend.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2010): what? Don't wait, pack his shit and throw it out the door.
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A
female
reader, livelaughlove23 +, writes (12 December 2010):
livelaughlove23 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you......
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (12 December 2010):
 He seems very immature, tell him if he wants to be a father he needs to build a relationship with the child he already has.
I wouldnt want to be having a baby with him, he doesnt sound like much of a catch when you describe him. I think you need to stick to your plan of getting a job and making something of your degree.
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A
female
reader, SmilySmily  +, writes (12 December 2010):
Do you love him? I actually wouldnt risk my life for a guy like him. Having a kid isn't something like buying a can of coke from the supermarket. I am currently in my final year of college and I can't imagine myself having a kid straight after my graduation. It's ridiculous. You're so young and I know it might sound horrible but he's not going to be the love of your life to me...If he threatens you to have a kid or else he will leave, say to him that you don't want him to leave but you don't want a kid right now so he may leave if he so wishes to. Then see what his reaction is..
if he loves you like all goood boyfriends would, he'd understand your sistuation and won't say anything but if he was just mad about having kids when he cant even look after himself (well 8 dollars an hour is hardly going to go anywhere is it? ..i know it sounds bad but that's the truth!)..that's just wrong..!!
Good luck x
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