A
female
age
41-50,
*onfusedxyz
writes:I could really use some advice. I have been seeing a really top guy for 8months now. Everything had been going great. At the beginning it was me who had all the reservations but now im so confused and it hurts so much. We have very similar interests and outlooks and i really thought we were in for the long haul. For the last two weeks he has been so distant. He genuinely does have a lot going on, his work is really busy just now, his grandma is ill and to top it all off he moves flat at the end of this week. He came to dinner last week and seemed ok, but i only got a goodbye peck. Our last call two days ago, he was fine on the phone, talks about us taking a holiday together next spring. His work interrupted us but he did phone back and i've had one goodnite message. Although the communication side of things has trickled to hardly anything over the past fortnight. Am i being too needy and do you think im over analysing things too much? Should i ride it out till all the other stuff in his life has calmed down?I dont want to get into a situation where its all me doing the running. I am old enough to accept that if this relationship is not working for one of us, its not working. I keep imagining the "dumping" in my mind, which is not helping matters. I have come on this forum as im trying to keep as much of my insecurity away from him just now, in case its another factor to drive him away. As of this afternoon, we are going out this weekend and have booked a botel room, im worried about feeling awkward and all this spilling out.any help appreciated. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Blue_Angel0316  +, writes (21 October 2007):
 If you had a favorite dress with a small hole in it would you simply throw it away or would you instead try to mend it so you could have it as long as possible? Or think about the special moment in time when you were on vacation and coming home you had a flat tire, ran out of gas and was late getting back so you missed a day of work. Did you just forget about the all the fun you had while vacationing and never take another one? Perhaps you might marry this guy one day and you have a situation to deal with. You aren't going to leave him just because things aren't the way you always want. From what I read you don't really want to let him go now. So think about it hon. Give him some time to get his head cleared, his finances straight and regain his balance. The old saying "Stand by your man" could be a good thing to remember when you are not knowing what else to do. It seems your heart is in the right place and chances are he will pull through for you. "Patience is a virtue" and "In my time not thine, thus sayeth the Lord" God bless and I pray it works out for you.
A
female
reader, confusedxyz +, writes (18 October 2007):
confusedxyz is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks guys, really appreciate it. Going to chill out a bit and get back to having fun. What will be will be, but i do feel 100times better now.
xxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2007): Well, if you have plans to go to a hotel, he can't be being too distant. I'd wait till he is done moving and he finds out what's going on with his ill grandma. He does not need any additional stress right now. let him know you're there to help him if he needs it, and leave it there.
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A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (17 October 2007):
 Personally if you are prepared to wait i would say ride it out for a bit, with that much going on in his life it's understandable that he is being a bit distant at the moment.
See how things go while you are away and look at the situation again when you get back, being away from everything might be just what he needs at the moment and you could see a big change in him.
All the best.
Take care.xx.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2007): Dont' panic yet. Give it a couple more days. Guys have the ability to forget to call when stressed. I've paniced before only to have the guy call the next day and then I felt so foolish and I wasted a lot of energy that could have gone to something else.
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