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He’s stood me up not once, not twice, but three times! Is he just unlucky or is he married?

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 April 2016) 8 Answers - (Newest, 21 April 2016)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Ok I'm in a little shock right now. I've been stood up not once not twice but three times. I know many will say why would talk to someone who did this to you. Well he was so charming. He would say how beautiful caring I was then ask me out then at last minute he cancelled the first time because he had to work late. The next day he apologized and promise he would make it up to me. He came over we had wine and kissed no sex or anything below the waist just kissing. He asked me to an art show the next week and 6pm rolls around and he never called we were supposed to meet for an early bite before the art show. He text around 7pm saying his mom needs to be picked up from work he can't make it. He calls the next day begging for me to give him another chance he said how bad he feels nothing like this every happens so I decided to give him another chance. He calls and wants to hang out he would be at my place by 9pm and guess what never shows or calls what is going on he says he not married but I smell a rat I think he is involved what do you think? Somethings off about him. Guess what I'm sure he will send me text apologizing again what do I do. He says how much he likes me but I'm not sure what's going on. Yes I've asked about other women of corse he says no but my gut says yes please help is he just unlucky or married? Btw he is 30 if that helps old enough to know better.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (21 April 2016):

Honeypie agony auntA guy's WORDS should match his actions. As in, if he SAYS he adores you and can't wait to spend time with you.. he should BACK IT UP with taking you out and spend time with you!

IF I were you, not give a 3-4 chances to prove the mean what they say. One cancellation, OK that CAN happen but 3-4? It's a pattern of disregard and honestly disrespect.

Good for you for leaving this guy in the dust. My guess is he wasn't married or "unlucky" he was more likely juggling several women and cancelling on you to see someone else - and probably cancelling on others as well...

Good riddance.

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A female reader, Ciar Canada +, writes (21 April 2016):

Ciar agony auntHe never should have been given a third chance. He called the first time, but to say nothing until after the fact the second time.

I don't know if he's married or not. He could be, but more importantly, he apparently doesn't think you important enough.

Block and delete him. Not another word to him, just let him go.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2016):

Hi I'm the one that posted the question. No I know I'm worth more and I will not be talking to him again it's just was weird how a guy could ask me out call me text everyday saying he was thinking about me and just flake on dates. I know for sure he's a player I figured it out through his Facebook page so I'm not wasting my time I'm sad that I fell for such a guy anyways I know the right one is out there to sweep me off my feet.

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A female reader, wrathykins United Kingdom +, writes (20 April 2016):

wrathykins agony auntTrust your gut. If you feel like something is off, it probably is!

If a guy is into you, there's no stopping them. He's stood you up THREE times. Block, delete, and goodbye!

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (20 April 2016):

aunt honesty agony auntGet rid, don't give him the attention of replying if he writes to you, and ignore his phone calls, you deserve better than this.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (20 April 2016):

Honeypie agony auntYou know the saying:

Insanity, is doing the same thing OVER and OVER expecting a different outcome?

That is you in a nutshell.

Are you so desperate for attention and empty flattery that you make up excuses for him?

Why not just tell him, thanks for the attention, I'm not looking for a guy who is all words no action. THEN you cut him off. You block his number.

Whether he is or isn't unlucky or married is really irrelevant. HE is making plans and then ditching you last minute... BECAUSE he can.

If he was married, would you still want to have him over for drinks and go out on dates? If so, what's wrong with you?

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A female reader, Anonymous 123 Italy +, writes (20 April 2016):

Anonymous 123 agony auntUnlucky?

Where did you get that from?

He's not unlucky or anything like that, he's just an untrustworthy person and I think you'd be much better off without him. All these mind games and standing you up...you know what they say..."Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me".

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (20 April 2016):

So_Very_Confused agony auntWhy does it matter if he's married or not?

What he is one way or the other is NOT that into you.

he's stood you up three times.

are you going to let him stand you up a 4th?

how many times do you plan to let a man do this to you?

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