A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Many of you may think I'm rather immature and childish for doing this, but in my current relationship (and only this relationship). I like watching my boyfriend's reaction when I merely hint at a connection with his ex. You see, I perform this experiment because something deep down tells me that he is not quite over the ex yet. His reactions to my 'drama' only reinforces my thinking.We passed by a hair salon where I know his ex's bestfriend works at. My boyfriend doesn't know I know this. I grab him and say, 'Hey, come inside with me to get my hair styled.' I look at him and see him almost turn pale as he starts backing away mumbling how it isn't a nice place and I don't need my hair styled. I look at him and am confirmed that he is scared as heck to go in and have his ex's bestfriend see us and tell her. Of course, I just laugh and say 'OK, let's go another time.'I tell him how I wish to eat at this Diner that I know him and his ex frequents. He doesn't know I know. They were there so often, they knew all the waitresses. He refused to go, would rather drive further and out of the way to go somewhere else. We finally went to this Mexican restaurant that they've been to a few times. I know he always orders steak fajitas but portions are small, so he always takes two of her tacos from her order as she can never finish. When he was there with me, I didn't order tacos, so he ended up ordering steak fajitas and side of two tacos. I jokingly said, that's a weird combo, are you used to having that every time you're here? Why just two tacos and not a full order of three tacos? He mumbled an answer and acted uncomfortable trying to explain lol.I wonder why men are like that. Clearly you've broken up with your ex and for a valid reason or you wouldn't have stayed broken up and each found a new partner. So why not be open and honest? Why hold on to 'memories'. I have no problem bringing him to places where I may run into my ex or his friends. I have no problem talking openly about my ex in a matter of fact way because it's OVER. If I'm used to eating certain food while with my ex, I either openly admit it's what I've grown to like or just switch to trying something new.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (20 April 2016):
 You will never be happy if you are always out to catch your boyfriend and make him feel uncomfortable. You seem to have more off an issue with his ex than he does, and it is scary how much you know about their relationship, to me that is borderline stalking.
He is right you are creating drama, and if he knew just how much drama you where creating maybe he would think twice about being with you, you say why can't he just be honest with you, but what you are doing is more dishonest than he is. What you are doing is sabotaging the relationship and trying to catch him out. Are you jealous of his ex? Are you insecure? There must be some reason for your behavior.
If I was him I wouldn't want to see my ex's best friend it can be uncomfortable and awkward, but immediately you put it down to he does not want to be seen with you. Have you confidence problems? He probably didn't want to tell you because he knows that you will be dramatic about it and blame it on the fact he does not want to be seen with you. It sounds like you are a lot of work to be in a relationship with.
Okay so he did not want to go to a restaurant he went to with his ex, more than likely he wants to make new memories with you, share new experiences, you look at it like he does not want the staff seeing him with a new girlfriend, why would they care? Do you think he is cheating on you?
You seem to enjoy him feeling awkward, you ask him about the tacos but am sure he likes that combo, it is what he is used to eating so why not order only two? Whats the problem? Why do you think this has anything to do with his ex and not just that he likes eating this?
Not all men are like that, but I think your man keeps quiet because he see's that you can cause drama. Why would he talk about her? Maybe he has nothing to say. He has every right to hold on to his memories, I have fond memories from my past, and they are my memories not something that I need to share with my current partner, plus am sure he would not want to hear about them anyway. You have no problem running in to your ex or his friends, but for some people it is awkward and they would rather avoid that situation, I know I would. So he ate things with his ex, but am sure he still eats it because he likes it. You over analysis everything sweetie and if you don't stop you are going to be miserable and you will lose him.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2016): You are correct, i think you are immature and childish. Its also kind of cruel.
Honestly your question doesnt even make sense. People don't lose their memories when they break up. It doesn't sound like your boyfriend is dwelling on the past. You keep bringing it up and he knows on some level it is a trap.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (20 April 2016):
 I wonder why you have researched his former relationship so much and know so much about it.... and why his EX bothers you so much.
Some folks just don't want to run into former partners some don't care..
why would you TEST him? why would you TRY to make him uncomfortable?
are you his parent or his therapist? no you are his GF and that's supposed to be a loving supportive role not a "gotcha" kind of thing.
you are making your own misery here.
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