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He's showing me videos of his wife and I'm not sure how to react.

Tagged as: Friends, Pornography<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 November 2008) 7 Answers - (Newest, 28 September 2011)
A male United Kingdom age 51-59, anonymous writes:

Hi.

I am a man in my 30's, single and have had little sexual experience. My main form of relief is masturbation over pornography which, at times, can be a little dull and lonely. On the odd occasion I watch pornography with a close male friend, who is married. Whilst I often get turned on by watching porn with my friend, I have never had the urge to masturbate or been overly aroused. In fact, usually we just chat about what we like about what we're watching.

Sometime ago, whilst we were looking through pictures (yes, of nude women) he showed me a couple of his wife. I have to say, I was a little shocked, but very willing to see them. His wife is a very attractive, sexual woman and has a superb figure. I complimented him on his taste and he asked me if I was offended. When I told him that I was more than happy to see them and a little aroused he proceeded to show me a video of his wife stripping naked.

The video itself was very tasteful, but at the same time I was more turned on then I had ever been in my life. For the first time I wanted to wank off even with him in the room. I didn't, through fear this might freak him out. I know he has more hard-core videos of his wife and I desperately wanted to ask him to show them to me. But again, didn't dare. To be perfectley honest, I fear that if he had I may have ejaculated in my pants as I was so turned on by seeing his wife just stripping.

Is it normal for me to be this aroused and curious? I have always kind of fancied his wife, even though I know she is way out of my league and just seeing her naked was a dream come true for me. Have any other men out there shown friends videos of their wives/girlfriends to close friends? Would you have been freaked out if they asked to see more? Or, if they started masturbating?

I only ask, because I know if he showed me more I am pretty sure it will end in me ejaculating, either by hand or unintended and I don't want to lose a friend. But I really want to see the pictures and video again and, hopefully, one of the harder ones. Should I tell my friend about how it turned me on? Is that why he showed me? As I mentioned, this was quite a while ago and whilst we have watched porn since and even discussed how attractive his wife is and he has told me about their home-videos, he hasn't shown or offered to show me anything else.

Please, let me have your opinions. I know I sound like a sad little man and I kind of am. But it was a real treat for me. Like Christmas, birthday and Easter all rolled into one.

View related questions: christmas, ejaculate, porn

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2011):

Hi,

I have showed pics & vids of my wife to a close mate.

It turns me on to see him turned on by her - don't ask me why

I'm not bi or gay but would love to see him cum over her. sorry but that's the way it is for me & plenty of others like me. :-)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2008):

There are 3 reasons you found this video so much of a turn on. First is, as you mentioned, her overall sexiness. Second is the fact of it being someone you know. Third is the certain level of taboo.

I think Lestat is right. I make videos knowing my bf will show his best mate. His mate is single. I know he enjoys watching them as much as I enjoy making them and it has boosted our sex life quite a bit. Theres nothing else to it so just appreciate it.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2008):

I rarely get jealous so I once showed a mate a video of my then girlfriend, now wife, with her blessing. I did it more out of curiosity of what his reaction would be, no more no less. It was a turn on and telling my wife about it was also a turn on for the two of us. He also told me it was a turn on for him and he found my wife very sexy. This added to my ego-trip and (I think) gave me some sort of confirmation that my taste in females was acceptable to my peers (I think this may be a male thing, imagine your mates finding your wife/girlfriend ugly) this was on a subconcious level but being older and wiser now I think that may have been one of the reasons I wanted to show him.

It was fun sharing a home video with a close mate but I did not want a threesome and did not want him to fuck my wife. I imagine lots of men probably enjoy doing the same thing but dont want their mates to climb into bed with them.

Tell him how it made you feel and that you would like to see more then leave it to him, but dont be surprised by any reaction positive or negative. But also consider how you would react to any possible situation that COULD arise as a result.

All I'm saying is don't expect it to be more then titilation and a bit of an ego boost for him and his wife.

By the way does she know?

If she is anything like my wife she may think that most men will eventually want to show their home-made porn to at least one mate.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2008):

Sorry babes, I don't think he was doing anything other than trying to make his friend happy. I've known tons of guys who like to watch porn together, they aren't allowed to do it at home, so they get together with some beers and watch it together, that's what it sounds like you two are doing.

You sound so lonely and lacking confidence. I think your friend picked up on this and was trying to share something personal with you. The fact that he hasn't mentioned it again, he hasn't made any approaches to you and he hasn't suggested anything about his wife, makes me think that this was really a one off.

He knows you like his wife, he knows your lonely and unhappy and he was trying to make you smile. It was a kind gesture from a friend, but I doubt you should mention it or suggest that he show you anything else. You need to get out and find yourself a woman, being lonely and sad like this is doing you no good. I'm not good at the dating thing, but I'm sure your friend can help you out. Tell him you would love to meet a girl and start dating, ask him to help you and listen carefully to his advice. If his wife is as sexy and beautiful and you say she is, then he must have tons of suggestions and techniques to help you find a woman for yourself... Take care, chin up, if you want happiness in life you have to go out and find it for yourself.... Blessings..

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A female reader, DanaL United Kingdom +, writes (7 November 2008):

I think he's showed you the pictures because he knows you fancy his wife and because he and maybe his wife too, wants you to join them sexually.

If you have no interest in doing this, then I would make that clear to him and then he should stop showing you naked images of his wife.

Ask him if his wife knows about him showing her off this way and if she does know, ask him what she thinks about it?

Of course he could just be a complete idiot and be showing his wife off without her knowledge?

Ask the questions!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2008):

It's obvious, your friend is a bisexual who wants you to join in with his wife and himself.

No totally straight guy would want to watch porn with just one other guy there, especially his wifes porn.

He has done this as a come on to you, probably expecting you to propose his fantasy at the time. Because you didn't he is probably now too embarrased to raise the issue again.

It is going to be up to you to ask him for a threesome, it will be the only way to break the barrier that is now there because of your failure to ask for it when he showed you the film.

Regards

Stella

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A male reader, Awiserowl United Kingdom +, writes (6 November 2008):

I think he was testing you when he showed the video. They are either swingers or he wants you to shag his wife for either his pleasure or both.

Bring it up by asking how would his wife react if she knew you had seen the video?

I believe but not from experience sadly that many men want to see their wives have sex with other men and a lot go for someone they know and trust.

By the way, no woman or man is out of anyone's league. We are all made the same and have the same urges. Don't put yourself down.

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