A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Ok I'll get right to it! My boyfriend is the shy, quiet, reserved, sweet, tall, mysterious, handsome type of guy. We've been good friends for a year and started *officially dating a month ago. Thing is I'm his first girlfriend and he knows I've had previous boyfriends in the past but only he's so sweet, I've been in terrible relationships with the "jerk" type of guys and this guy is just the absolute sweetest and well worth waiting for. But the thing is he's a bit shy but I try my best to be patient. It's been almost 3 months of me initiating hugs with him, me holding his hand, me kissing his cheek etc. but very very rarely as in once in a blue moon kind of rare will he initiate contact because well he's a bit shy. well really shy. I just wish he could initiate the first kiss because I don't want to come off as the initiator all the time/ too aggressive :/ how do I hint to him that I'd love it if he hugs me first, grabs my hand, or wraps his arm aroun me sort of stuff or kiss me without actually saying please please please iniate things? Thing is he has trouble telling me most of his feelings face to face as well. He's super shy but he's learning (he used to not know how to hug and now I crave the feeling when he hugs me back everyday now because he's gotten so amazing at them :) Thanks in advance !
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female
reader, Claraw1  +, writes (14 November 2011):
 you need to tell him honestly, men don't take hints, and shy people don't take hints. You need to tell him honestly what you want, and let him ease into it, so he is comfortable with it as well. Good luck.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (14 November 2011):
 Men aren't mind-readers.... If you want something you need to express it with words or actions.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2011): I will tell you my story. I was (am) very shy and I spent the night with several woman who (in retrospect) expected me to make a move. I never did. I was just too shy and insecure and afraid of doing something unwelcome. Eventually, I did find a woman to have sex with and what she did was urge me on gently. She said things like: "It's okay if you want to put your arm around me" when we were in bed. Her talk even got progressively more sexually aggressive in ways I will not repeat. At first it was scary, but she gave me time to think about it (and didn't get offended when I refused) and eventually I made a move on her and we had sex. Be aggressive, but don't get upset when he does not reciprocate. Let me know how much you want him. Then be assertive enough to make the first move. Kiss him. Grab him "down there." Make it known what you want. He will figure it out on his own time. Trust me, even when he turns you down he is second-guessing himself. Eventually, we will be ready.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (14 November 2011):
Instead of hinting you need to have a conversation with him. It's better that you learn sooner or later, that men especially don't take hints--you need to tell them.
Tell him what's on your mind and what you told us. You understand that he's shy but you don't want to always be the aggressor and that you want him to feel comfortable enough around you to where he can initiate hugging and kissing or even sharing his feelings.
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A
female
reader, ShiShisAdvice +, writes (14 November 2011):
 He's still a bit immature, but it sounds like he's worth the wait.
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